Hello all,
I've been holding off on reporting this great news! Pinching myself - waiting for the other shoe to drop. Well it hasn't and I really don't believe it will. DS LOVES his new school! It's a Friends School (independent Quaker school).
What a huge difference the right school has made for DS7. Some of you may recall that we had a horrific experience with our public school during 1st grade. We dealt with a principal who is truly clueless and a guidance counselor who only made things things worse. They were all on a bandwagon with the teacher & believed DS7 must have some disorder that we were hiding & refused to treat (Asperger's/ADHD). They tried to remove our parental rights and seek intervention for him. They refused to accept private testing from a highly qualified neuropsychologist who found NOTHING wrong with DS and identified him as gifted. Besides all that, DS was subjected to unchecked bullying for 4 months - even though we complained almost daily! (The principal tracked our communication and informed us that we required the most attention from him - what a JERK! By the way - DS7 hasn't been bullied once at Friends and we haven't called the school with a single complaint this year - HA!).
We decided that a public school in NJ was no place for DS7 and we are so happy with our decision. Yes it's a huge financial burden - even with financial aid, but it's worth every penny. Oh, and the Friends School cured our son of his "disorder". His report card was outstanding and his teacher thinks he's wonderful. Not one single social/behavioral category requires development. We were told he's a kind, respectful young man. He also developed beautiful handwriting in one month's time thanks to her efforts. At the PS we were told by the OT that DS would never have good handwriting and that he needed a slant board and other accommodations. Pure non-sense and a waste of tax payer dollars in this case! All his new teacher did was praise him and give him meaningful reasons to write! Simple stuff! No expensive sensory therapy needed! Go figure...
So what is so different about this Friends school? Well for starters the kids work at their own level and many are gifted or very, very advanced. The class moves very quickly and DS7 is never bored. There are wonderful specials like violin and yoga so he's always doing something new. And he goes to an actual science lab with a dedicated science teacher which thrills him. They also take learning field trips (museum of anthropology,etc) unlike our PS.
Being a Quaker school they celebrate diversity and have children with many different interests and backgrounds. As we like to say, they have many shapes there - they don't try to shave the edges off the square peg and jam it in the round hole like they did at our PS. My DS has found a home. He's accepted for who his is. He's respected - everyone is respected there. His self-esteem has soared and we are watching him flourish. It's a beautiful thing!
I am so grateful to have found this school! I highly recommend a Friends School to anyone looking for an alternative to PS. We have several Friends Schools in the Philadelphia area but I doubt you can find them many other places.
Imagine where we would be today if we listened to the teacher (who told me that she was sure any doctor would be happy to give him a diagnosis), principal & guidance counselor? DS7 would be medicated and sitting in a resource room. What a terrible thing! As a professional, I've seen gifted kids put in BD (behavior disorder) classrooms and forgotten. It's so very sad. I wasn't going to let that happen to my son. I'll sell my house to pay tuition if it comes to that! Anyway, I wish there was something more I could do to help other parents avoid this outcome for their children. I see it all the time - teachers and guidance counselors playing doctor.
Thanks for listening.

I am so very glad to hear that you found something that works for your son, and that you didn't give up and give it to a broken system. Congratulations on sticking with it until you found what works!

What wonderful news Frustrated NJMom! I am so happy for your family!

Congratulations! Are we all moving there?

Thank you everyone! I can say with out a doubt that this forum has been both inspirational and educational. And most of all - a real life saver! Thank you for all the support!

You keep me motivated in eh middle f my own battles,

It sounds like you found such a great place for your son! I can't believe how he was treated at the public school!

I hope that he continues to grow and flourish!

congrats with the new school! Keep us posted. It's nice to hear about good things happening. It can inspire others.

That is great news! So sorry about everything you and your son had to go through, but so happy that you've found a good fit. And thank you for sharing your story -- those of us fighting PS right now will find it encouraging!

Sing it sister! So glad you found a place for your son to grow and thrive.

Small caution: I was talking to a friend yesterday about Quaker Schools. She said that currently there is a trend, in about half of the Quaker schools, to keep kids learning what their agemates are ready to learn, and about half will teach kids at the child's own actual level.

Yippee!
Grinity

Thanks everyone! Your kind words are greatly appreciated.
I'm not aware of this trend of Friends Schools keeping kids on grade level. I think in general Friends Schools are more academically advanced. Our 2nd grade class is working on pretty much the same material as our PS 4th grade. So what is grade level at a Friends School may actually already be above the typical PS level. ??? Of course I can't speak definitively on this as far as all Friends Schools go. In the end it always come down to folks having to do their research.

We feel the same way about the private schools our kids attend.

Is anyone happy with the PS in New Jersey? It is supposed to have such a superb school system, and I am just not seeing it (and I'm in a good district as well). Very depressing.

I've been thinking about FrustratedNJMom's post a lot today. What frightens me is to think of how many kids and their parents don't have the benefit of FrustratedNJMom's expertise. HOw many listen to the schools and let their child be medicated and put into a BD classroom.

Our local friends school is definitely on grade level in general. They do a lot of open ended projects and it is a lovely school environment. It's a school we looked at very closely before and after we found out DS was HG+. Before it was our dream school. Now I couldn't imagine him happy and engaged there for long.

Glad you found such a great fit! Congratulations!

Congratulation!

I am SOOOO thrilled for you that you found the right school!! Knowing that your child can finally be "seen" for who he is has to be the best feeling for you and him! Super HUGS!! I think I would probably fall over from being giddy if we could find the right location.
Dazed&Confused you summed it up perfectly! I was horrified at what the PS's guidance couselor, psychologist and teacher were all telling me was wrong with my son at the beginning of the school year. The psych hadn't even met him yet and she asked whether we had considered medication and that she felt it would be a huge benefit to him....I wanted to just reach out and let her have it! They refused to listen to our concerns or the very thorough testing/private psych report we had done...instead they decided to focus on his behavior that had started to go down hill because he was bored out of his mind.......and then viola one day his regular teacher was out sick and a substitute came in....at the end of the day she said my son was a wonderful young man (and whispered on the side that the teacher left a long note to her concerning my son and his bad behavior and what to do if he "acted up"...she said she saw nothing whatsoever of any issues other than the fact that he was a "very, very smart cookie"), she gave him other work that she had brought in her sub bag of tricks, she said she kept giving him activities that engaged him and she didn't have to say boo to him once all day long. We pulled him the next week. The sad thing is that I know there have to be a ton of parents out there who get caught up and worry that maybe there is something "wrong" with thier child and then they end up being medicated and stuck in a dead end :-(

Wow! I'm shocked at how horribly the ps treated you. I'm sure that there are parents who refuse to acknowledge their child's disability (ADHD, Aspergers or other), but to try to have your parental rights terminated is an amazingly brazen step. I'm glad that your son is doing so much better in his new environment.

Yay! Glad you found a good fit! There might be a regional aspect to the Friends School/ advanced academics thing.... I know nothing about Philadelphia-area Friends schools, but my experience with two in other places is that they're not academically advanced at all. However, they do frequently tend to be smaller schools, and that can mean flexible!

But what really matters is that you've found a good one!

NJ does not budget for gifted ed. From the Davidson site:

CONGRATS!!! Your experience with your DS7 in 1st grade was almost exactly what we went through with public school gifted program. It was beyond disasterous. We moved our DS6 to a catholic school and skipped him to 2nd grade , that was the only option we had to get him to get some harder work.
I wish we could afford a school like Friends.
It is 30K a year right?
I believe paying would be the only way to get real help for our DS6. Wish we could afford it.

That's wonderful news! I'm so happy for you, and I thank you for your post. I'm one of the parents always worried that there's something wrong with my son because he's not like other kids. Your post helped me put our situation in perspective and know that I have to be his advocate b/c there are plenty of other people who aren't going to understand him. I have to be the one who believes in him and knows he's fine just the way he is.

You must feel so relieved...I'm appauled at what you went through at the ps. I am very hopeful that we are going to find the same fit in Montessori school in January. If not, we have a great alternative back-up plan at a very small private school. They have just 10 students right now ranging from 6th grade to 10th grade, but my son fits right in with them. He goes there for some enrichment classes now. They are looking to start a multi-age elementary class next year with 5-10 students. Each child will have an individualized educational plan with lots of one-on-one instruction, ongoing in-depth projects, and opportunities to explore areas of interest. If the class falls through, he can still go and have one-on-one instruction with a gifted teacher! For once, we're in a position where we have options!!

I wish your son continued success in his new school. It sounds like a dream come true for him!