Well, I visited the Montessori school again today, and ds had a couple of hours there as well. This particular school does a very in-depth "getting to know you" processo with the entire family and the child. So, from my previous post about Montessori and gifted eduction, I've gathered that it's sometimes not a great fit. But, I really LOVE this particular school. I know all Montessori schools are not created equal, and this one just seems to be a perfect fit for ds. I'm very nervous about committing to a year (spending LOTS of money) b/c what if it doesn't work out? I spoke with the director of my concerns about the step-by-step nature of Montessori, and she said it's definitely more that way in the primary school. The early elementary allows for much more flexibility and opportunity to research areas of interest. I was quite impressed with the level of academics for each child. Also, there are 3 other gifted students in the class of 16, and the school's IOWA scores are in the 99th percentile average. The lowest score in any area of the test was 87th percentile. They don't start the testing until 3rd grade. Ds loves it, but that's just after a couple of two hour visits. I really want him to be able to be back in school; homeschooling is good for now, but for us I don't think it's a permanent solution. Are we crazy if we decide to just go for it and give it a shot? I guess I'm just needing to voice my concerns somewhere. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for "listening."
Jen

.

Did you get a chance to observe the 'early el' room and see the 'flexibility and opportunity' in action? For that kind of money, I would sit quietly and observe the teacher.

Also - can you start mid year? From the money point of view, it's better to start in January, pay for the half year, before you commit to the whole year.

Also - I would ask the Director about allowing you to pay 'by the quarter' instead of signing up for the whole year. She'll probably say no, but after what you've been through, you can at least ask.

It isn't that you are being non-committal, just that these kids regularly take these incredible leaps from moment to moment. It's just their nature.

Anyway, it's great that you found a school you feel happy about - yippee!

Smiles,
Grinity

I have had two 2-hour opportunities to observe. First, in the primary classroom. Second, in the early elementary classroom. I do see the difference between the two. They also gave a 4 hour overview of the curriculum and Montessori in general. This school is nationally and internationally accredited.

I was able to observe quite a bit of freedom in the classroom, children researching areas of interest on the computer, others choosing to work in teams on a history timeline, and two boys voluntarily and spontaneously consulting each other on the best ways to do long division. Ds found a buddy, and she helped him a lot. The teacher spent a lot of time with ds one-on-one. The curriculum is differentiatedand and they say it's limitless; the students are not confined to a
particular grade level. This school goes to 6th grade.

We have the option of starting in January, so that's a great point about committing to half a year instead of a full year, Grinity! Ds loves it but then again he loves everything at first. He quickly habituates to new routines, and tires of them very quckly as well. So, it's definitely a risk, both financially for us and personally for ds. I also feel like we've invested so much time, energy, and money into homeschooling; I hate to stop before we've given it a good chance. At this point, we're still getting the hang of everything. What if we end up loving hs just as much as the Montessori school?! Ahhhh! I just want to do the right thing for ds. Decisions, decisions. At least we have options, right?

I couldn't have said it better. I've noticed the same thing with DS3. I wonder if this is more pronounced with gifted kids and/or common with all children.


You're a good mom. I sympathize with your concerns. I think your "mom gut" will lead you to the right decision for now. B/c you're so invested in making the right decision for your child, it (mom gut) will also lead you to make any changes as they become necessary. I think it's good that you're contemplating pros/cons now. Maybe you can give yourself some time afterwards to not think about it at all before making a decision. I'm not sure when you have to commit to a decision.

Not that the decision is his, really, but have you asked your son what his ideal would be -- the Montessori school or homeschooling? I would be careful to say that it is you and your DH making the decision and that you're still not sure what you'll decide, but that you're trying to make the best decision and you were wondering about his thoughts on the matter.

Also, I totally agree with the go with your gut idea. In the end, that's always what it boils down to, and if your decision doesn't work out then you've done your best and you can always adjust. And that's a great lesson for any kid.

No. My DS is the exact opposite.

Good to know.

It sounds lovely. If you have seen the teachers and 'believe' that they wouldn't be closed minded about 'of course you can't read that level book because you can't spell the words in it, and everyone knows that reading and spelling go hand in hand' sort of thing, and believe that the teacher gets your child, then go for it!

Take the homeschooling as a valuable investment it getting to know your son as a learner, and an 'ace in the hole.' Chances are that you will need to try many, many different things along the way. If the school goes to 6th grade, you can bet that it will fit better now than it will in 5th and 6th grade years, right?

I've never gone as far as pulling my son from school, but in talking to my BF who homeschooled, she told me that the hallmark of a homeschooling mom, to her, was when the parent fully accepted responsibility for their child's education, rather than who did the teaching or where the child spent their days. So you aren't really leaving anything behind, see?

Smiles,
Grinity

I have asked ds what his preference would be, and he says he'd prefer the Montessori school. We even did a pros/cons list for both Montessori and hs. His primary PRO is that he would have friends to go to school with and that he would have lots of lessons to choose from (tons of materials). For dh and me, the cons of Montessori are the expense and fear of ending up in the same situation we were in before. Of course, this school is soooo different from our previous school. For ds, the only con for Montessori is the fact that he has to go to school ALL day. He likes that we can complete academics in a few hours at home. At the Catholic school, he says a minute seemed like an hour. I'm sure it did; he was concentrating the whole time on sitting still and being quiet while he learned nothing. Anyway, that makes him a little wary of another ALL day situation.

Homeschooling is definitely harder than I thought it would be; I knew it would be a challenge to keep up with ds academically. I underestimated the emotional and psychological aspects involved with teaching your own child, however. That said, I'd do it forever if it was best for ds.

Thanks for everyone's input. If anyone else has any thoughts, I'd love to hear them. I think they'd like for us to move ahead and make a decision soon, but I think I'm going to tell them we need a couple of weeks to think about everything. If we decide to go the Montessori route, I'll be looking for a new job! Bleh! I had no intention of putting ds in any school until next school year at least. Now I'm thinking it might make sense to start Montessori in January if we go that route. If that's the case, we'll need my income.

Good grief! I just read the online reviews of the school; not sure why I hadn't done that already! Most of them are wonderful, but there are a few that are scathing! I hate that; I end up focusing on the few bad reviews rather than the many great ones. More to think about.

Can he attend for a week in November or December? Some schools let you do that. Would they be open to something like that?

Good luck with your decision. It's not an easy one.

If you can start in January, that would give you all that time to see what you think of homeschooling him. Then after his half a year in school you might compare the two experiences and see what is best. There may be activities for homeschoolers in your area where he can be social too. The Zoo, Parks, YMCA, Musems, and libraries may have classes during the day.

Ds starts science and art classes at a very small local private school tomorrow. They are very hands-on and follow some Montessori philosophy, but they do not claim to be Montessori or use that name at all. It's just one day a week, but if we like it we can add other days. He'll go for three hours on Fridays: Art, Science, Recess (playground). We'll see how that goes as well. Knowing my ds, he'll LOVE this just as much as the Montessori school. LOL

Opps - I hadn't remembered this part! Well then, that sounds much more flexible, and worth a try. Maybe this is work for your family? I'd say to trust that Mom-gut and remember that 'Rome wasn't built in a day.'

It took a while for things to get so tangled up, and will take a while to get them figured out, time and living.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Well, ds didn't start the classes at the small private school. We decided to wait. The more dh and I talk about the Montessori school, the more we're convincved it's worth a try. After spending just two hours there, ds is again realizing how much he misses being with other children. I know there are coops, etc., but I've not had much luck finding any group that meets consistently; not to mention the two I've tried to join have not responded to my request, and it's been 7 weeks. As you probably know by now, I am not a patient person.

Grinity, we like the idea of trying out the Montessori school beginning in January. This way, we're risking 5 months rather than a full school year. The school also really encourages parent participation, and you're welcome to come to the classroom anytime you want. I like that because at the last school, even though I was the homeroom parent, I (nor other parents) were welcomed into the classroom. They looked at it like a distraction, even when they had parties. I like to go and help, get to know people, and that way I have an idea of what's REALLY going on in the classroom.

So, today, we're thinking it's worth a shot. Ds is on board, and dh and I felt really good about the school when visiting. As for the couple of bad reviews, dh thinks it boils down to a couple of disgruntled parents. Like he said, no school is going to be perfect for every child. The only way to know is to try it out.

Do you think any damage is done to gifted children, or children in general, when their school environment changes multiple times? I'm tyring to see this Montessori experience as a possible fit "for now" because I've noticed that many gifted children move around a lot from school to school/setting to setting through their school years. I feel this need to find something that will work for him FOREVER, hence homeschooling. But, what if there's something that works better for him RIGHT NOW? What do you think is more important?

Darn it! Wordy as usual!
Jen

7 weeks is too long for the homeschooling groups. I wouldn't be patient about that either. I'm betting either the groups aren't active anymore or your requests got lost.

Personally, I try not to think past 6 months to a year in advance for my kids because what works for them changes too fast.

I know families with HG+ kids who float between public school/private school/homeshooling as often as on a semester-by-semester basis. They have great kids who learn well and are happy--none the worse for the changes. If they find something that works, they stick with it, of course, but they focus on the "what works now" rather than trying to plan for high school when the kid is 5. There's just too much that is unknown about the future.

In that vein, even though we're homeschooling, I always keep my eyes open for schools that look like they would work because there's no guarantee that homeschooling will work forever for us. If nothing else, puberty often means that kids want to go back to school. We all have to be ready to adapt, I think.

IMHO, if you haven't found good social opportunities for your child, that's a significant strike against homeschooling for you. Kids do need that social time. It's usually not hard for homeschoolers to get, but it is important. If you can't find it, then you need to figure something out, one way or another.

So I guess my vote is "what works now." I think that's all you can focus on, really.

FWIW...

You know, I'm having the same experience with the 'groups'. I'm convinced there is no group...anywhere. Well, that or they're no longer accepting applications for new homeschoolers, or they somehow know that I have no clue what I'm doing and don't want me tainting the group .

I think I may just have to start my own group of two...DS and me. LOL! Seriously, I'm frustrated, but I haven't totally given up yet.

Good luck with the Montessori, if that's the direction you're heading.

I thought about the request getting lost, and maybe I should send again....but they might think I'm a stalker and then they really wouldn't want me .

LOL! JDAx3-wish we were in the same area! Ugh!

We're doing Montessori for our gifted DD (age 5). She just started this year in K. So far, it's going really well. I am looking forward to next year where the range of work is more appropriate in lower elementary, but this is a good year to get acustomed to the structure, pace and expectations for a montessori classroom- which are quite different from any other philosophy I've researched.
Best of luck.

JenSMP - My highly gifted DS(just turned 7) started at Montessori last year in the Lower Elem. We skipped trad. K, so this was his first time in "real" school. We had a bumpy start (us and DS), but the adjustment was smoothed out mid-year and now as a second year, things are going great. No other school we looked into (LOTS!) was able to offer the flexibility for him to really enjoy learning things that interest him. He can go deep in geography and history subjects. He is still responsible for learning math, grammer, etc. He probably isn't being overly challenged in these other areas, but he's getting what he needs and is still working a grade or so ahead. He's happy. I think at any school, it does come down to the teacher. We are lucky that DS has one that understands him and his capabilities. He was able to have 2nd and 3rd year lessons as a 1st year. We love that we has three years with her. Not sure what 4th grade holds for us at this point, but I think we're set through 3rd!
Financially, it's killin' us! But were making it work. The best of luck in whatever decision you make!

Thanks for sharing your experience, Cathy. It's going to put a big dent in the finances around here too to send ds to Montessori, but we really feel like we need to give it a shot. We, too, have researched a lot of schools, and this just seems perfect for our son. The great thing about homeschooling the first half of tis school year is that I've learned so much about ds, and I know that if Montessori doesn't work out, I CAN hs! Don't get me wrong; it's a challenge, but I know I can do it if we need to. We were able to choose the teacher, and she seems perfect for my ds. She gets him, quirks and all, and she recognizes his abilities. We, too, feel that we are set for the next 3 years if all goes well. We'll reasses along the way, and if it ever stops working, we'll find another solution. I really want ds to be challenged, and it's necessary for him to stay interested and engaged, but I also want him to find his love of learning again and revel in the freedom to choose his own path. The Montessori school will give him that opportunity, and I think that will do wonders for his confidence. I honestly feel that the rigid private school he was in squashed his self-esteem and confidence because he could never voice an opinion, share a thought, or make choices for himself. I'm not sure I ever see my ds in a traditional school setting. If we are lucky enough for Montessori to work through 6th grade, I have no problem homeschooling again, althought I might rely on some kind virtual school. Homeschooling has made me see that there are alternatives to traditional school and that traditional classrooms are not for all students. My ds doesn't have to be like everyone else; he is who he is (although I could do without the temper tantrums). : )

Good luck Jen! Keep us posted. What a journey, huh?

Yeah, no kidding! I'm feeling a little guilty about already bailing on the homeschooling, but one of us (ds or I) are going to go insane pretty soon. If we keep this up much longer, I'm going to have to start self-medicating (myself, I mean)! Ds loved the Montessori school so much, we figured it can't hurt to try one semester. Thanks, and I'll definitely keep you posted! Hey, hkc75, how's your hs program going?

Jen

Jen, I pm'd you. Long story short we are off to the neurologist end of Dec and we were advised to back off reading and writing until we have more data.