Well, first day of homeschool is not exactly what I expected. Ds has a horrible cold and didn't sleep half the night. Today has been one meltdown after another (ds and mom!). I feel so much pressure to make sure I'm teaching him what he needs to learn. What if I don't do any better than the school?! He's such a perfectionist; if everything he does is not perfect, he loses it. I don't know how to teach him if he behaves this way. His attention skills are lacking, and he expects constant direction (not independent at all).

My mom is completely against homeschooling. She's very emotional and extremely angry about our decision to hs. This makes it even more difficult, and after today I'm already questioning this! Any advice on how to deal with difficult family members who do not agree with your decision to hs?

We're researching other schools now and hoping that by next year we'll find something that will work for ds. In the meantime, thanks for letting me vent. I feel like I can't say this to anyone else b/c dh and I have to stand by our decision, considering the opposition!

When we pulled my son out of PS last year, he did the same thing. Turns out, he had post-traumatic stress disorder. He had been under so much stress at school that when we pulled him out, he basically melted emotionally. It took about a month for him to recover. I believe that is why some people "unschool" for a while. Unfortunately, I didn't have that option because our first county review was set for just two weeks later.

During his recovery month, I started with simple assignments such as making long lists (which I would scribe) about why he was special and loved. He thought that was awesome. He actually took the list with him wherever we went and would read it to anyone who would listen, like waiters, etc.

I slowly moved from there onto some perfectionist exercises. Before we would begin a game, I would say, "I am going to let you win this game." Then, I would have him practice telling me good game, good try, etc. after his win. Also, I would pout a little and ask him if I was a failure because I lost. Of course, he didn't want me to feel bad, so he would offer me encouragement. Then I would say, "Now, I am going to try to win this game." I would win the game and reverse roles on him.

This was not a pleasant exercise initially because of his perfectionistic tendences. However, after several days, it became a little easier for him. I'm not sure it would work for everyone, but you might want to give it a try. If you do, be sure to add lots of humor. It really helps take the edge off.

Last year, I had to sit with my son through every school task. It was exhausting, because I felt like I was doing the work. This year has been very different. He is more organized and willing to work independently. (Which is why I can be on this website now, while he is doing his grammar work!)

I am still a fairly new homeschooler as well, but I can tell you the rewards (after a rough start) have been amazing. I finally have my sweet, confident son back.

Hang in there...I do think you'll find that things will get better.

oh jen this is the place to vent! i would call this a sick day and go back to bed or get outside for some activity. keep a journal so u can see how far u have come. i love up's advice. You keep posting because u have acess to this amazing resource. best wishes grinity

Great suggestions! I think I'm just trying to teach him like he was taught at school! It wasn't working then, so I'm not sure why I thought it would work now. After we completed quite a bit of work this morning (with lots of frustration) he said, "I'd really like to learn something new. When are we going to do that? I already know all of this, and it's very boring." Well, because of the frustration, I thought the work was difficult for him! No wonder the teachers thought I was crazy! I'm sure they saw the same thing. And I know to look for the signs of frustration and boredom! Boy, is this going to be a learning experience for both of us! Unschooling is probably a very good idea for now. It's just a different concept for me! Thanks so much for the advice and support. If it weren't for this site, I'd be a wreck by now.

This is what helped me a lot last year. If you think that whatever you are asking your DS to do won't go well then don't even ask for it. It's not worth the struggle. Most of the time it wasn't the subject or material which was the issue, it was the timing. Just because we were oh, so close to the end of the chapter didn't mean that it was a wise idea to push him to finish it when it was obvious that he had enough. Things did get done but not necessarily on my preferred schedule. This was the most important thing I learned last year.

If he gets tired or antsy give him a break. Let him run outside, jump on the trampoline, have snack, etc.

Another thing we do is having a choice free day. On Fridays I get to choose one activity and DS7 gets to choose the rest of them. As long as I find it educational he is free to do whatever he wishes. He can spend the whole morning doing geography if that's what he wants. The rest of the week my son gets to choose one activity as long as all of his work is done and I choose the rest. It gives him sense of control and I get to know pretty well what he likes

DS5 is still learning the rules

I haven't read the other posts and need to get my own kids back to the table lol but I wanted to chime in....IT"S A SICK DAY!!!!!!!

"They" say a kid needs something like a month decompression time for every year in public school. Some take several months. For now I would only do "fun" stuff like science, history, art, music - whatever floats your sons boat. Then add 1 subject at a time. I would just plan some fun museum trips, trips to the zoo, playdates w/ other HSers this week.

Give him a few days to recover from being sick. SNuggle up on the couch w/ a good NOVA science show - always works for us!

If you don't know what he actually knows (hence the boredom and frustration) then just blast through the work. Rather than insist that all of the work be done, just ask him to pick about 3 (or less) of each type of problem and do them. If he can do them with no problem mark that lesson off as learned. Just because the work is there doesn't mean you have to make him do every single problem!

I had a big problem with this the first couple of days. This is our first year of "official" homeschooling through the local public school independent study program. Right now it looks like Wolf will be done with the majority of the 1st grade work by Christmastime and a good portion of it is simply review for him that I am just checking to make sure he has it down.

If he knows it why make him learn it? The problem now is just figuring out what he already knows!

Wyldkat, that's exactly what's going on here. Today was much better! We did fly through some lessons, and it helped for ds to know we only had to do each part once as long as he showed me he knew the material. He focused and knocked it out. We also started some brand new material (from The Well Trained Mind) and he's already in love with Roman mythology! We jumped way ahead in math, and to my surprise, he was able to handle everything I threw at him. I was the one who had to call it quits today! He's so happy to be learning. What a relief. Thanks a bunch for your advice.

YAY! Glad to hear it's going well, I'm sure that will continue.


You are brilliant!!

Neato

That's awesome JenSMP! Doing a happy dance for you both!

Yes!!!! Way to go JenSMP! I knew you'd figure it out!

Jen,

I'm new here, but we've homeschooled from the beginning (Dd is 9, would be 4th grade).

I'll second Dazed - a good "decompression" period is often called for when bringing students home to school.

However, if today went better - Hooray! Don't get discouraged, though, if you have a set-back. It's going to happen. Actually, yesterday (Monday), it may have been in the stars - we had a rotten homeschool day, too. Cyber-hugs on that, btw.

Since you've had exposure to the public school system, try to remember what that was like for you, your dc, and your family. Homeschooling isn't for everyone, but sometimes it's hard to keep perspective. A journal (for Mom) helps a BUNCH! It can keep you sane as you go forward, especially when you can note problems, but then go forward and see the solutions.

As for reluctant family members... BTDT! Still dealing. Some will come around, once they see how well your child is doing, the positive changes, etc. My parents are still on the fence, usually, though Mom tends to fall off on the negative side a lot. LOL!

If they can't be supportive, then we just don't give them an opportunity to be otherwise - we don't discuss Dd's education, accomplishments, or anything with them. We talk about hobbies, camps, projects, etc (which are, in fact, "school") but NOT education, workbooks, tests, grades. In fact, my parents "lost" some of their time with Dd when they started haranguing her about homeschooling when they would have her for the day. They don't get to "babysit" her any longer, nor have her overnight alone, because of this - at Dd's request, I might add.

If you have an only you are homeschooling (or just one schooling at home), might I recommend taking at look at the Homeschooling Only One website - http://hoo.donnac.com/ ? There are loads of kind folks there who are extremely supportive. I'd guess about 50% of us have difficult relatives when it comes to hsing.

Sorry this is long, but HTH!

Yay!!! It took me a bit to realize that homeschooling/IS with a curriculum doesn't have to be as "thorough" (every problem on every page) as traditional schooling. As long as Wolf knows it we're done with it! Hooray for interest and excitement for school!

Thanks for the advice everyone! I definitely followed a lot of it, and day 2 and 3 have gone beautifully! We are having so much fun, and my sweet boy is back! I guess I didn't realize just how much stress he was feeling. Now he feels free to express his thoughts and is thrilled to be learning "new stuff" everyday. I'm beginning to feel more confident in our decision to homeschool. I know ds is happy as a clam.

YEAH!!!! I knew you could do it!

Pleased to hear it is going well