I would like to hear about what set you all on the path to homeschooling. Or why did you contemplate it and then stick to brick and mortar?

I just don't know what to do with DD11. I am finding out she is more unhappy than I realized. DH states we can't protect her from her troubles; she needs to learn the tools to face the world, but he is open to alternative school ideas. Middle school (hormones?), social,ADHD, internal issues - how to pry apart those four and determine what is the most troublesome. She says the only thing she learned this past year was math (in a class three years advanced for her age). All the other classes were a wash (she knew it already although 1 year accelerated). She liked one class - art (maybe band). She is also starting to talk about how she dislikes crowds and noise. This is new. Will be bringing this all up to the psych. on Monday.

I wouldn't be so focused on the option of homeschooling if it weren't for the fact that math is her least favorite subject, and if she is successfully pulling A's doing work three years ahead -well, what could she do in history, LA, and geography? She is self-educating with Ted Talks and library books!!
Thank you thank you for everyone's support!!

I considered it when ds9 had such a bad second year at school his toilet training regressed. I didn't do it because I am a single mum who has to work and didn't earn enough to pay someone to care for him or have free care available. I carefully monitored the next year and sent him to a one day gifted programme each week (which I also couldn't really afford). I also stepped up at home learning. Ds is a sporty child and enjoys lunch breaks so school is mostly OK (so far). He has one more year of primary and I am making plans for intermediate now.
I am too disorganised to homeschool well anyway.

Do you have alternatives aside from her current public school and homeschooling?

What are the pros and cons of each alternative?

I think it might be helpful to make a list and bring it with you to your appointment on Monday.

I considered it last spring for DS but the new school district we're in is putting him in their self-contained gifted program and I want to see how it goes before giving up. If I homeschooled it would probably just be for a couple years, not permanently.
In terms of what your Dh thinks...I can see his point to a certain extent, but adults have choices. If an adult hates their job they can look for a different one, go back to school and switch careers, move, etc. So shouldn't a kid have choices too? As long as you are able to reasonably accommodate it?

For us there was a perfect confluence of events -- 2nd grade at Tiny Private School wasn't working, I was on sabbatical, and there were no other schools I would consider (I'd already shopped them all before choosing TPS). So I just held my breath and jumped in. Or out, I suppose. I was on the hook for November tuition, but after finishing the last week of October (halloween party, you know), we just . . . stopped. Told the school she wasn't coming back, woke up on Monday morning, and . . . weren't . . . in . . . school. It was a most peculiar feeling.

After we made the jump there was a lot of hyperventilating and "what have I done?!?" Not because I thought I'd made the wrong decision, but because it felt so much like being in free-fall after jumping off a cliff.

Now of course I'm trapped. Homeschooling is so perfect for this kid, I could never send her back. Just like I would make extraordinary sacrifices for a kid with special medical needs, for example, I have to do whatever it takes (including trashing my career, I'm afraid), to give this kid what she needs, both emotionally and educationally.

This is a wonderful bright spot in the midst of the difficulties!

When weighing homeschooling as an option for your child, you may also wish to read the informative articles on the Davidson Database, including Homeschooling Tips which begins with the advice to parents to know your State's Laws on homeschooling.

Gifted Homeschooler's Forum (GHF) is also a helpful resource, including this webpage on Education Alternatives.

So many good ideas. Thanks all.

Are there alternatives? I researched as much as I could before we placed her in this school. It seemed to be the best for both emotional and educational reasons. I liked the AG teacher (who had raised the possibility that we might switch elsewhere at some point due to the fact that the classes are a mix of high/medium/low performing students save the math class which is accelerated/compacted).

I work only part time so that would not be an issue. I'm just terrified of screwing up!! I would have to find online/homeschool classes, etc to make this work. I am lucky that this is a STEM area with lots of homeschool groups and support. What MegMeg said resonated with me:

"After we made the jump there was a lot of hyperventilating and "what have I done?!?" Not because I thought I'd made the wrong decision, but because it felt so much like being in free-fall after jumping off a cliff.

Now of course I'm trapped. laugh Homeschooling is so perfect for this kid, I could never send her back. Just like I would make extraordinary sacrifices for a kid with special medical needs, for example, I have to do whatever it takes (including trashing my career, I'm afraid), to give this kid what she needs, both emotionally and educationally."

Yep. Sounds like something I would say/feel/do. I worry a lot about how DD's ADHD is affecting her.

Mana - will definitely bring a list to the psych.

Can I repeat again that it scares me to death??

And thanks, Indigo!!! I have been on both those sites for other reasons - will have to do more research there for HSing if that is the choice! I brought up homeschooling on the forum long ago - it's been in the back of my mind for a long time.

I wouldn't think of homeschooling as a binary decision. There really is a continuum of options that are available. In your shoes, I would check with the school about options for part-time enrolment, the possibility of dual enrolment with colleges or universities, participating in home school coops or e-learning with gifted-focused courses (e.g. AOPS, athena, G3, etc.), project based independent learning,...

And on the "career trashing" front, I hear you MegMeg! I've committed to a comfortable position that gives me good work-life balance specifically with DS' needs in mind. It's not what I would choose for myself absent having DS, because I'm a bit of a workaholic striver by nature, but I can be in the 1% or have a happy, healthy child. I'd like to have the ability to homeschool (even part-time) when DS is older, should he need it, and this path gives me that option.

Sending you hugs and courage as you explore your options! But remember, nothing you do is irreversible.

Is the getting the tools to face the world at a public school? The public school is not the world. It is a set of kids, her exact same age, her exact same demographic, placed in a room together for several hours. At higher grade levels, every so often, a bell rings or a buzzer buzzes and she gets to stand from her desk and quickly walk to a different room and then sit at a different desk for near an hour. Then she gets to dash through her lunch period in about 30 minutes while battling a room full of people hoping to get through the lunch line first and gulp down their food fast enough to get back to the rooms. The rooms where they sit at a desk for 45 minutes to an hour.

That is not teaching her how to face the world. That is teaching her what life would be like in prison.

The moment I decided to home school.....it has been ongoing. I started home schooling because my child was in special education and not learning how to read. She was also a bully. My other child was being bullied. Once home, I found out both kids were highly gifted. Stupidly, I only home schooled the bully child. The bully child went back to public school for high school. In high school, she was top of her class, model student, and NMS. She is in college on a full ride scholarship now, plus stipend. Her brother, the one who had been bullied, is not doing so well in college, even though his IQ is higher than hers. He was in the gifted program in public school. It was nonsense and he grew to have low self esteem and not know how to socialize. If only he had home schooled, he would have had the tools and confidence , and education, it takes to face the world as an adult.

I don't think this kind of self-criticism is productive or fair to yourself. You did the best you could with the information and tools you had at the time you made the decision. I'm sure your son will be fine.

We've always homeschooled...just sort of a natural extension of stay-at-home-parenting that turned into no need for preschool, no need for kindergarten, and then it had to be a conscious choice for 1st grade, and here we are entering 2nd.

I will say that homeschooling doesn't have to be some Big Scary Thing. You won't be sitting down and doing 1:1 work for 6 hours a day 5 days a week. We sort of take a look at what the grade standards are, make sure she's meeting or exceeding those (which so far has happened without much effort...not sure at what age that will flip), and stay super involved locally (homeschool group, co-op, history center, nature centers, scouts, dance).

You say she's self-teaching which is great! Having a younger kid I'm able to "strew" books/websites/etc. (i.e. purposefully plant material) that I want her exposed to, and then allow depth of exploration when something piques her interest. Currently she's all-in with the Little House on the Prairie series which is covering my needs for reading, history, and geography

Anyway, I'm rambling, and not at all on point seeing as I never *decided* to homeschool, it just sort of happened naturally. It's not a total on or off decision though; there's partial enrollment, co-ops, and she can always go back after taking a break from brick and mortar school.

Homeschool is also not some "all or nothing" decision. DD was homeschooled in various ways (online school and brick and mortar homeschool classes) as well as attending a magnet school. She then did two years of private school in one (saving me a ton of tuition - lol) and is now starting public highschool early.

The most important lesson for our family that came from homeschooling is that it busts you out of this little box called "the way it's done." We'll never have the same perspective as we did before we took the leap.

Now we know we have options and control over what works best for us. It's empowered our whole family. If we try something and it doesn't work, we can try something else. It's really not the end of the world. This is especially important as DD's gotten older. If she wants to go to public high school, fine. She knows that there will be some BS and nonsense, but she also has perspective and knows what's shes gaining (tons of course options, AP and honors classes, etc).

It's great to hear these success stories. We have only had a few brief dabbles with homeschooling - well, really only one short one. Grade 7 for a few months - it was in response to my DS 12 feeling miserable at school.

After months of cajoling him into going it came to a head and we pulled him. He watched documentaries on world history, researched modern artists and went to the art gallery, he reverse engineered songs he liked on the keyboard and saxophone, wrote a story, read math books and we had a math tutor come once a week who could answer his big thinking questions. He ultimately decided to go back for the end of the year.

This year, around the same time of the year, misery hit again. After much discussion we pulled him but he immediately regretted it and begged to go back. He is back but seems disengaged. Would have done distributed learning (virtual school) to start at least. Perhaps that will happen next year.

DS6 has been asking to homeschool next year. He skipped first grade and this year has been a little rough for him socially. There is one kid in particular who seems to get his goat. But he has a few friends and he loves playing soccer at recess. I predict that he will homeschool for 2 weeks and then beg to go back to public school. I wish there was a go/no go flow chart or something for the homeschool decision.