Hi. My daughter started a Tumbling class for 2 & 3 year olds. She likes the class, especially the balance beam and some other things.

At the start of class, there are rubber stars all over the mats. When we get there, she picks them all up and puts them in a pile.

She doesn't participate in "group" activities. For example, they turned on some music and all of the kids/moms marched in a big circle. She didn't want to do it because she didn't want the music on. Later on, they had the kids sit on these little boards with wheels and then move in a big circle again with music. She was on the board, but once the music started, she got off and said I don't want the music on.

I tried to explain to her that the teachers were not going to turn off the music just for her.

Do you have any ideas for getting her to participate in group work and following the teacher's directions without squashing her leadership skills? THANKS.

Sharona

Does your DD have sensitivity to sound? Will she participate in things if there is no music, or is it a group thing in general? If she has a sound sensitivity, you might need to find a new class for her, or ask the teacher if she could turn the music down if it seems very loud.

If there's no sound sensitivity, maybe your daughter just doesn't like participating in groups yet, and this might just take time. She might warm up when you go to more classes. Or, she might not! My DS4 doesn't like participating in song/movement activities in his preschool. The teacher does not make anyone do it if they don't want to. So DS still sits out and watches. He also started in a gym class at the Y and refused to participate because there were too many kids. We found a small group (about 5 kids), and he did fine there and loves it even now when the classes have gotten bigger.

As for following teacher's directions, she's acting age-appropriate, I think. The best teachers with experience should be able to deal with this, or at least will be used to it. I wouldn't worry about it too much unless she seems to you to be misbehaving.

Good luck!

Hi. Thanks for reply.

She has mentioned to me before that something was too loud - music on stereo, lawn mower, etc. so noise sensitivity could be an option.

I myself don't like being somewhere that is very noisy. Its almost like static to me -- I can't think clearly when there is so much commotion going on.

I will have to ask her about it.

Does the class space have lots of sensory input? bright colors, flourescent lights, muisc, clapping, shouting, "organized" chaos? you get the picture.

If so, maybe the music is the final straw that broke the camel's back? My dd(7) went to gymnastics at that age and we had a similar experience. dd loved the activities, but if it was overly stimulating for her, she would come unglued.

We ended up leavng lessons behind. If it isn't fun for her then it is not worth it.

We swim now and it is so much better.

Hi. There's not a whole bunch of sensory input. Florescent lights yes. Its in a gym. Music, lots of people (about 25).

I'm a stay at home mom, so the environment that she's in every day is relatively quiet. We do our work/learning in quiet.

Last year at Christmas, there were close to 50 people around and there was lots of stimulation and noise going on. She had like 30 presents to open. She opened up 4 and then said she was done.

Either she acts very naughty or she withdraws. We ended up having some quiet time in a different room, away from the people and noise, for about an hour. That helped a lot.

She likes the class and the "free play" activities and I can't force her to do the group activities. Maybe I will just go with it a few more times and see what happens. THANKS.

She sounds so much like my dd!! We are still in the midst of figuring out what works for her. It seems age 7 the magic age for testing various things, so far she has been through CAPD, SI and will be headed for behavioral Optometry this month!

I also am SAHM and our environment is quiet and predictable in routine. WHen things are overstimulating, she would melt down or retreat.

Christmas at age 3, she came down the stairs, looked around and headed back upstairs and laid on her bed under her secuity blanket! We did a little bit all day long.

We took her to disney world, she had to go back to the Condo and sit in her bedroom. She talked to her animals and when she was ready she came out and was quite ready to go for more.

She also needs to go to her room and be alone after a full rich day at school as well. She has a walk in closet with a window (so lots of light) where she lines up her animals and talks to them until she feels like she can rejoin the resot of the world.

It has gotten better over the last few years and she has learned how to manage herself pretty well. Good Luck!