DD9 has never been one to share a lot about school, but she has become more vocal about her dislike of the place. Because of last Spring's testing we have made many changes to help her, but right now she doesn't see that - she only knows that it's the same place she's been since kindergarten.She is NOT happy so she's making sure that the whole family is NOT happy. Anyone else have a child not looking forward to going back to school this Fall? We are exhausted.

Yup, My DS15 came home from camp yesterday VERY unhappy that school starts in two weeks. My only hope is my son is getting into extra-curriculars like band and robotics that we hopefully keep him connected to school.

My only suggestion is to talk with her about why? And see if you can talk through suggestions with her to make it better.

We are in the same boat. DS7 (3rd) and DD5(1st) are changing schools this year in the hope of finding a better academic environment. It is hard for them to imagine something better, especially since DS7 keeps bringing up that nothing was challenging during their shadow day. I am hoping that there isn't too much prepping for the state tests at the start of third grade or else he may be tuned out by the time it gets more interesting.

We have been working through specific concerns and strategies, as blue magic suggests... and stocking activity bags for when they have their work done.

DS7 has been grumbling. I'm trying to remain cheery about school but he's not having it. He seems to view it as a big waste of time when there's so many more interesting things he could be doing instead. He is passive/laid back so he hasn't made too big of a deal about it, but it bothers me that if I gave him the choice to homeschool he would choose that in a second.

Here a lot of the teachers seem to spend 2 months testing the kids (or getting around to testing them), so there is no differentiation in the classroom. Then, they get in maybe 1 month of instruction, and if the child is lucky, the teacher is attempting to do some sort of differentiation based on the tests that took 2 months to administer. Then it's the holidays and no one is thinking about school. Then in Jan., the schools are thinking about the standardized testing and the fact that they better start teaching the kids because they are getting behind. But instead of teaching the kids they teach to the test, and they do practice test after practice test. State mandated testing occurs in March or April. After the test, no one cares anymore and there is little instruction. It's too late to fix the kids who failed the test so let's just get to summer break and let the next teacher deal with it. Ok, there is my jaded/cynical view, but that's kind of what it seems like.

Yes.


And, ^^^ this. Exactly. When I hear what they are doing, I can understand why DS is bored. (And I remember being frustrated with all the time spent of review when I was a kid.) Since there are no gifted programs in our area, it seems as if each fall DS will need to prove his need for differentiation over a period of months. Until that changes, I can understand his reluctance. I'm hopeful about our new setting, but I know he is wary since last year was still "boring" despite all the assessments the prior spring. It can't be another year of him asking, "Why don't I ever get to learn anything in school like the other kids?"

DD9's school has already started, and last night she blew up because her schedule has her in an ELA gifted pull-out, then goes back to a homeroom for forty minutes before lunch, where they're doing ELA. The homeroom teacher has decided to make DD journal during that time, despite the fact she's already doing it in the gifted pull-out. How much journaling can a kid do every day?

DD has already given self-advocacy a shot, and it's a brand-new teacher, but nothing has happened yet after more than a week and a couple of reminders to more than one teacher, so DD is naturally upset. I'm giving them one more day to handle it themselves before I bang my head against the desk and I type the same email I send every [thump] stinking [thump] year [thump].

Oh, and yesterday DW had to make an emergency stop on the way home so DD could relieve herself, seeing as how the school-wide policy is "go during recess, or suffer the consequences." Ummm... elementary kids?

DD talked a bit more today about last year and why school is such a waste of time (I was so excited that she shared!!). She grumbled that she just could not figure out why her teacher was one of the finalists for "teacher of the year" when, according to DD, the teacher "teaches kindergarten work" to the 3rd graders. DD is just baffled why these third grade teacher give out work meant for younger kids!! Of course that is her perspective. I explained that she will be getting single subject acceleration for math and AIG services for math and language arts this year. She was not impressed with my work on her behalf. I told her about the academy we had found for her (run by a guy from Duke) that caters to kids like her who are bored in school. That one was a hard sell because it's an after school program, but the parents claim their kids love it because it's the one place where their kids are with other kids who love to learn. I really am hoping that I can see some love of learning this year vs. DD being miserable. Can you imagine being in school "prison" for 6 hours every day? Fingers crossed.

We heard the same thing from our kids about not using the bathroom when needed. I had to raise a stink with the teachers and explain that the doctor did not agree with the policy. They made exceptions for my kids, but my kids still felt the pressure to "wait".

The county appraiser showed up at our door today and as he was leaving he smiled at DS and asked "So are you excited about school?" DS said "no" and started to launch into a big spiel about what a waste of time it is. The weird thing is that all of his teachers say he is continually happy and cheerful there so I don't understand how that's possible when he's such a grump about it at home. Now the question is, do I tell the teacher that he has been griping about school starting, try to get him to tell the teacher himself and advocate for himself if something is excessively boring, or tell him to "deal with it", because I think he may be doing this in part to over-dramatize it or manipulate me so I keep him home. Also, everyone has to deal with being bored sometimes. Probably 50 percent of the workforce is completely bored with their jobs but they do it anyway. I know it's unacceptable for a child to be bored the majority of the day and be completely unchallenged, but how much is too much? The teacher last spring said that's probably what he is trying to do (manipulate me), however, that doesn't change the fact that he'd be thrilled if I kept him home and he has no interest in going to school.

Homeschooling.

If it helps, DS7 starting complaining about school two weeks before it started. In the last week, he said he wanted to go to school. The day before school, he said he was sad and happy about going back.
Some of the school situations here don't sound fun. DS is lucky to be at a school that we both enjoy- but it took a lot of shopping and we have to make more financial sacrifices than we would like. We had the experience of being in a school that wasn't a "fit." DS liked his friends and teachers, but complained daily that he wasn't learning anything new.

"The county appraiser showed up at our door today and as he was leaving he smiled at DS and asked "So are you excited about school?" DS said "no" and started to launch into a big spiel about what a waste of time it is."

That is almost an exact copy of what happened today at our daughters' open house!! I about died. DD9, the one I have been writing about, went to visit her new teacher who asked her, "What was your favorite thing about 3rd grade?" DD just stared at her for a long time. I just opened my mouth before I could reply tactfully and said that DD was hoping to be more challenged this year. DH later said that what I said was fine. The teacher sure looked shell shocked though. It was our first meeting with the teacher, and I meant to be sweet and not bothersome.
I apologized later to DD about her bad school experiences over the past few years. I told her that most kids really liked school. She replied "MOST kids." Not her.

Is it manipulation when a hungry child complains of hunger and asks for food?

Point well taken.

Children use whatever means they have available to try to get their needs met. Whether they choose the appropriate means is a separate issue from whether the needs are real.

For that one I would deluge them with research on the damage done to the bladder by holding on and the risks of UTIs. I think you would find most parents would object to that one.

And as to the "trying to manipulate me" how else is he supposed to get his needs met? If he doesn't like school then there is probably a reason.

And while I am being grumpy, how come the school can't teach a PG kid to write or challenge him in maths?