Just wondering if anyone has any useful advice... So, DS is getting in trouble for "working ahead" in math. He gets bored waiting for others and when he works ahead sometimes he gets the problems wrong (usually because he doesn't read the directions properly) and sometimes he gets them right. Apparently, the only children permitted to work ahead are the "ones who can do so without error." DS' response to this is he "doesn't mind making mistakes because that is how he learns," but admits that many times he only makes mistakes because he didn't or couldn't read the directions properly. He also said he'd "rather work ahead and make mistakes rather than sit there bored waiting." I see the teacher's point of course and, of course, I am biased but I can't bring myself to discipline him for wanting to work, wanting to learn, not being afraid to make mistakes and learn from them, etc. Anyway, this seems to make the teacher pretty angry - today she sent home classwork he had gotten wrong (clearly b/c he didn't read the directions properly) and wrote in big letters "this is why he needs to stay with the class and not work ahead!") To be clear he didn't get the actual calculations wrong - just didn't follow the directions properly. I am at loss for what she wants me to do? Should I punish him for this? It doesn't feel right. I also think part of the problem is he comes home and does math stuff on the computer trying to learn more so this making the problem worse I guess but I don't want to discourage that either. Any suggestions that I can give the teacher? Today appparently he sat and wrote all the "times tables" he could think of that he knew to occupy himself but teacher didn't send that sheet home LOL

Sounds to me like he's employing an acceptable coping mechanism for boredom, while also learning a valuable lesson about following directions. Where's the problem?

I would tell the teacher that if she wants him to pay attention, she ought to offer him something to learn.

School problems should be solved (or given consequences) at school. I wouldn't punish him at home for this kind of low-level "infraction." If the teacher wants to fuss about this, she will, regardless of what you do.

However, the teacher sounds more than a little rigid. Do you have achievement test scores that would support acceleration of any kind? What is your school's/district's policy? My feeling is that the teacher's attitude isn't going to do your DS any good, regardless of how you choose to resolve this. One has to approach these things collaboratively, but this teacher doesn't sound too willing...

DeeDee

Thanks. Yeah, that's what I am thinking ... I feel like what do you want me to do? I am not there in class when this is happeneing and by both accounts (DS and teacher) he has mastered the current material (and at times the 'ahead' material as well)... I know it must be frustrating for her but at the same time what does she want me to do? Start enacting consequences for doing math work and wanting to learn more and be challeneged? Seriously? DS has a solution - he thinks the class needs to be broken down into groups so that those he get the material pretty quickly don't need to wait for those that need and benefit from more time/reptition/instruction etc. I have no idea what shoudl be done but I am not 'disciplining' my kid for wanting to learn and being halfway decent at math. She's just going to have to work something else out... And I do not envy her. DS can be a bit exhausting.... I can only imagine if you have 18 of them at different levels that you have to teach!

I see your son's reaction as a mature response to a total lack of stimulation from the teacher. He's exhibiting, IMHO, a healthy balance between setting stretch goals for himself and avoiding perfectionism. Wonderful!

I would continue to offer as many after school opportunities as his interest and enjoyment allow while continuing to push for enrichment or acceleration. In doing so, you're giving him a satisfying opportunity to achieve near his potential! Your intuition is on point.

You might wish to share the following article with the teacher. She clearly isn't making an effort to understand your son's frustration at the stultifying pace of learning. A little perspective taking on her part could go a long way.

This might be somewhat hyperbolic, but I see holding gifted children back to average achievement levels as similar to mentally putting them in prison. It makes my blood boil when good, hard-working children like your son are discouraged from learning. A non-gifted student wouldn't be put in a class for the mentally disabled and expected to make do.

Teachers like this make me want to retrain in gifted education to shake up the system.

http://www.stephanietolan.com/is_it_a_cheetah.htm

I agree with everyone else. This is teacher's problem. If this was my child, I'd be trying to convince her to give him work that's more challenging. It's possible she thinks he doesn't understand it when in reality, he may not be paying attention.

You might want to suggest to him that he read the directions so that he can prove to her that he can do the work.

I like MoN's idea to tell her "he says that he works ahead because he has nothing else to do." Then ask her what she wants him to do and tell her to deal with it herself. It's her classroom, not yours.

Do you get annoyed with her when stuff doesn't go the way you want at your workplace? Do you expect her to solve your problems at work? Of course not.

Alternatively, if she's looking for parental involvement in how to run her classroom, perhaps she could consider giving more advanced material to your son so that he doesn't get bored.

I agree. Thanks all. And I could see the teacher's point if he hadn't mastered the current material but there seems to be no argument that he mastered the current material.

I just noticed that you're in Pennsylvania. Does your son have GIEP?

Please don't punish your child! Especially for something as minor as this. I prefer a peaceful parenting approach- guiding, setting examples, etc. I also believe in intrinsic reward. Your son is doing nothing wrong, he is simply reacting to an unpleasant situation. And I agree with a PP, in quite a mature manner.

LOL Squishy - I wouldn't actually "punish" him I *try* to be peaceful parenting, too... Thanks for weighing though - I agree w/ you!

Hi there!

First of all, good for your son for trying to stimulate his mind and working ahead.

I missed how old he is (?), but I do have a few thoughts.

First, clearly there is no call for punishment of any sort. I'm also guessing from your post that the teacher isn't even recommending punishment. When you say that he's "in trouble" for working ahead, and that she is suggesting that only children who can work ahead without major errors do so, I'm not picturing her as being harsh here. I can picture her being perfectly reasonable. I doubt that she is putting him "in trouble" by offering detention or any other punishment, right?

There is a legitimate reason to worry about kids teaching themselves things, and a reason to worry that they will miss some key components if they self-teach. Sure, they can explore, but it is totally inappropriate for teachers to take that as a given that the child has truly and properly learned the topic (unless, of course, they really do score 100% on everything).

So, I think a few things you can consider: it is a great lesson to him to learn to read directions. If he wants to go ahead, I think you should appreciate the opportunity to teach him to focus on reading instructions. Assuming he truly "gets it" and is just mis-reading the directions, that is something BEYOND important for him to learn to do. As gifted parents, we are always seeking stretch goals, and opportunities for our kids to work hard at something. So this is a great chance to teach him the importance of following instructions. Of course, I think there is a chance that he's just stretching to do exercises that he's not ready for (as opposed to just mis-reading directions). That's not bad, just a different issue.

But this does offer an opportunity to discuss with the teacher that A) He fully understands the basic info that the rest of the class is learning, but B) He needs a TEACHER to help him with the further material--he can't properly learn it on his own. So hopefully she can step in to teach a more advanced group some more difficult material, but even if she can't, they perhaps she can provide some non-curricular but still stimulating math problems....challenging enrichment work on random topics like Sierpinski's Triangle, the golden ratio, etc that could be fun for him to work on, but wouldn't worry her that he is mis-learning some key curriculum information.

Anyway, just a few cents worth..... Good luck!! But rather than being annoyed at the teacher, I'd be grateful for the opportunity to work on a learning opportunity for your child--read and comprehend the instructions. This is a great way for him to demonstrate mastery and prove he's ready for more work. She's right not to trust him if he isn't getting above 95%--I think you might have a decent teacher on your hands!!!

I have purchased Aleks math which is found at ALEKS.com and my son can work on it at school or at home.

What is nice is that it corrects the students errors with an explanation. And if you spend too much time and aren't getting a topic it suggests that you try something else and come back to that skill. And the student gets to pick the area of math to try next. My son has filled in 1 piece of the pie, is close to three other pieces and has a bunch of geometry/measurement to work on and this is one grade level above his current grade. His teacher is having him work in a text book one grade level up but even that he finishes fast so the computer is where he goes (and the school has tons of other programs he can chose from). And I just remembered that his textbook has a whole online component of games and tutorials and extra practice that they let him do.

This summer I thought we would do Primary Math Challenge (this is something you could buy at a bookstore and send in for him to work on).

That's good to know, marytheres LOL! :P

He's 7 and he is old for his grade (1st)(which is something our district REALLY pushes so that is not really my doing as much as it is the schools; however, he also has a LD in writing so we're in a weird spot). And, they *are* disciplining him for it - they pull his ticket (the class system is such that the kids get "caught-being-good-tickets' but you can't get a 'caught-being-good-ticket' if your 'ticket' is "pulled" for an infraction, then the next step are numbers on your conduct chart, notes home etc. I do, however, get the feeling that she wants me to do some sort of discipline on my end to support her in disciplining him for this because she is sending notes home about it... However, she does NOT have a harsh demeanor and she is generally flexible, etc. So, I definitely think that once she realizes this is behavior that she is going to have to accomodate somehow, she will do so.

Rather than working ahead in his standard math book, can she provide him with some enrichment worksheets he can do? Or maybe you can, if she balks. I suggested this for my DD at her old school and they allowed it, though I had to buy that darn workbooks. Sunshine Math is a nice program available free online.

He is definitely misreading the directions at least in the occassions/examples I have seen sent home and the incidents he recounts for me (this is not to say there isn't another side to the story that has validity also). And yes I did tell him that he needs to focus on reading instructions and that is something BEYOND important for him to learn to do. I myself am also impatient with instructions (once (as an adult no less!) in law school I did an entire exam "wrong" because I didn't bother to really read the directions and that cost me a bit grade-wise). I can relate and have burned myself with same problem so I talked to him about as a person who has struggled and been burned by the same thing. So, totally agree with you and teacher there. Also, although he reads on grade level, reading is not something he likes or even does all that well, in my opinion (he has a vision disorder but I have always suspected some sort of dyslexia; regardless, 'reading' is quite taxing for him and he routinely mistakes words particularly small words). So, it is totally fitting and within his personality to just want to jump right into doing calculations rather dealing with reading words and/or he very likely is also misreading words and has no idea. And, yes, I did take the opportunity to tell him he needs to take the time to get the reading right so that if he works ahead he can do so properly following the instructions, etc. Having said all of that, I am sure he needs instruction at least in some situations (he is not EG) - but he seems to need a faster pace. He says he sits for "a half an hour waiting for the others" so that they as a class can move on, which I am pretty sure is an exaggeration so I am thinking he is more likely waiting around for 10 maybe 15 minutes. But that is still a long time - at least he is working and not 'carrying on' or distupting others! At least he is trying to do math at math time! However, sometimes I am not so sure the time is a total exaggeration becasue yesterday after he "worked ahead" he also apparently had time to write (which takes him forever, btw) out times tables and the teacher also gave him addition/subtraction drills (which he also worte) ... So at least yesterday it sounded like he was ahead and "waiting" for quite awhile.

I don't know what to think of him. He actually gets up in the morning and does math on the computer. He got up this morning and did ixl. I have to admit I am kind of perplexed never being a math person. I am also not "teaching him" or even remotely pushing this b/c, no offense, I hate math. I barely understand basic arithmatic LOL. He learns by making mistakes on the computer stuff and then the computer thing shows/tells him the right answer.

well we have an IEP meeting next week and you all have given me some good things to think about and some good ideas with which to brainstorm! Thank you all!

Wow....the in-school punishment seems really off-the-mark to me (I suppose, just perhaps, it could be mildly appropriate if the teacher has many, many times asked him not to do that and provided other things to do--then the discipline would be for defiance???). Anyway, that should stop, of course! But also because there really should be an alternative for him to do something else (and it doesn't even have to be math...he could do reading, whatever) when he completes the classwork. Although it sounds like he should do math since he loves it. Personally, I would advocate for non-curricular enrichment math. It's more stimulating and interesting and thought-provoking than just moving ahead int he math curriculum, so I think it's better. Additionally, in my experience, for my own kids, the further they go ahead in basic curriculum, the more redundant and boring it will be when the class does it together. If you can keep him occupied with non-curricular stuff, then at least he'll have a MOMENT of learning when they teach new concepts in school (I completely hear you on the pace and repetition being off-kilter for your child). Good luck!!!