Looking for book/cd/dvd recommendations to improve assertiveness in DS
Any recommendations?
Your DS is a teenager, right? Then it's not just assertiveness, but I'd recommmend 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, because several of the habits (esp. "think win win") are IME important foundations for assertiveness - concerns going in with the expectation that the other person has something to gain from listening to you, which IME helps enormously. I expect someone else will be able to recommend something for the mechanics...
We used _When I Say No I Feel Guilty_ years ago in a pastoral care training I took years ago. I liked that so much, I went back to my alma mater and gave my sorority an assertiveness training session.
But then I moved to the Asia-Pacific side of the world, and found assertiveness much less useful.
Care to expand on that, herenow? :-)
Actually let me expand. It's almost always true. Even in an interaction where you are simply asking for something, it's often the case that the person you're talking to will gain the satisfaction of a job well done, if the interaction goes well. For example, if a student of mine comes to me to ask about something she doesn't understand, or to tell me she thinks I've made a mistake, or to ask for an extension on an assignment, then dealing with that interaction is part of my job and I want to do it well. The student wants to gain understanding, or get a mistake corrected if it is one or else an understanding of why it isn't, or a solution to a problem of overwork. A win-win interaction is one in which we both end up satisfied. Many of the things the student can do that would often be seen as assertiveness - e.g., stating clearly and non-defensively what the perceived problem is and, if appropriate, what effect it's having on the student and what she'd like me to do about it - are exactly the things I need her to do if I'm to be able to help make the interaction go well. (The unassertive student is likely not to talk to me at all, or to do so in a vague, defensive or self-effacing way that often makes it hard to work out what the best way to proceed is.) Almost all interactions go better if the people involved see themselves as being on the same side and are clear about how they see the situation.