Today, we have a meeting at DD8.5's school to evaluate how her IEP is working. I asked for her thoughts about how school is going and what her challenges are. She had four different things she wanted me to tell everyone for her, so decided to type them out. I thought that one thing she said was pretty profound and wanted to share it. On one hand it makes me very sad that she feels this way, but on the other, I think how lucky she is to be able to understand her struggles and articulate them.

�I see it like this... what the teacher is trying to teach us is like a nail and we learn by driving the nail into the wood. All the other kids in my class are like the handle on a hammer. They whack at the nail really hard, but they are just handles so it takes longer and it�s a lot more work for them to get that nail in. It is not the best way to hammer a nail, using the handle only, but if you are strong enough and try long enough, you can do it. I�m kind of like the heavy metal part (the mallet) of the hammer. I KNOW that I can drive that nail in with only one or two whacks, but I don�t have a handle so I just lay there and I don�t do anything. It is very frustrating for me because I know I can do it, but I just can�t until someone picks me up and swings me at the nail.�

I just read your DD's metaphor to my DD17 and she gave it a big two thumbs up for describing it so well...for hitting the nail on the head or "nailing it" so to speak.

That self-awareness is a great asset for the long term, though. Kudos to her. And to you.

DeeDee

Wow! I can't help but think how many books and articles have been devoted to ADHD and in one paragraph your daughter was able to connect the whys that many of us just don't grasp. She really is an amazing child. I understand the sadness in all of it for you, but the fact that she has a grasp on her struggles is the biggest part of that struggle.

Thank you all for your kind words. I think this statement, in particular, made a big impact on DD's teacher. She read it over and over again and got tears in her eyes. She said that she feels like she is failing her somehow by not helping her 'find her handle'. It nothing else, it further motivated an already motivated teacher to step up her game. She had some great suggestions for further ADHD accomodations and suggested letting DD use the computer more often in the classroom (writing is a huge struggle). The school principal is happy to help out with verbal pre-assessments of new subject matter. This will make a huge difference for DD, as her words are her strength. Knowing that the school is on her side and wants her to succeed is so important to us. Maybe they are learning as they go, but at least they are going somewhere!