I told my son's piano teacher that he had recently been diagnosed with motor dyspraxia and dysgraphia in addition to the previously diagnosed hypotonia and sensory integration issues. I also told her that our public school does not provide OT for 2E kids and I would have to pay for private OT and continue homeschooling him.

Then she said something I have heard before but I don't quite understand, "Disability Cancels Out Giftedness."

I don't understand this. Of course, it slows my son down a little in piano, but he makes what looks to me like good progress and he is in Level 3. I guess it might look like disability cancels out giftedness on paper if a 2E child with motor issues is tested with methods requiring good fine motor skills.

But it didn't cancel out his giftedness when he read at 2 1/2 without being taught. It didn't cancel out his giftedness when he figured out alternate ways of doing math problems requiring less handwriting on his own. I also know that you can be physically gifted but I have never really thought of physical abilities as part of a person's intelligence.

We have never had his IQ tested, but I wonder if these disabilities would cause his IQ score to be lower than it would be without the disabilities. I do think it might affect test scores on "fill in the bubble" timed tests, because it would take him longer than most children to color in the lines.

Can you accurately test a 2E child's real intelligence?

She's the piano teacher? Well, she's not really an expert on GT ed then, is she!

I assume you know that she's full of it, right? Nothing but long-term neglect of the gifts can "cancel out" giftedness. What you said about 2E making it harder to see the giftedness is on target, and 2E can make it harder for non-experts to know how to teach a gifted child. But to say that "disability cancels out giftedness" is wrong, simplistic, and dangerous, IMHO.

Sorry about that little rant, but stuff like that really makes me angry!

My only answer to your question isn't going to be very helpful, and I'm certainly no expert on 2E issues. But I do know that as hard as it is to accurately test the intelligence of any of the non-2E HG+ kids, it's even harder to test those who are 2E. The right test, the right tester...it can be done about as well as it can be done for any of the kids...which is really badly!

I'm sorry I'm not more help.

So, if I may ask: How did you respond to the piano teacher? Did you correct her? Let it go? How did you handle it?

I let it go because I didn't know what to say. I am still trying to figure out what to say if this comes up again somewhere. I think I need help with this.

My son heard it but I don't think it bothered him because he knows this is not true. He lets stuff like this go easier than I do. He says he wishes I could learn to do this.

I tend to start with, "Hmmm, that doesn't make sense to me. As I understand it..." and explain. If they argue, I do tend to hold my ground and point out the flaws in the logic and ask them what GT research they've read. (Always none!) But I don't back down because I don't have a lot of patience for people who spout off about things they know NOTHING about, especially when what they're spouting about is my child! The Mother Tiger comes out in me.

I'm not saying that's good. It's just what I do.

With apologies to your son, I will say that I don't think letting it go completely is the right thing to do if she's teaching your child!

How do you *want* to handle it if it comes up again? What kind of help are you looking for?

Did she say this within hearing of DS? I sure hope not!

If he was out of earshot, I might try - I've heard that before, but it sure hasn't been my experience. I wonder what people are seeing.

Then she has the chance to share what she said, or just move on if she realizes how weird she sounded.

Burns me up also, but maybe-maybe she had some good intention behind all that.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

You're far more understanding and optimistic than I, Grinity. Many blessings upon you for your patience! I wish I had it!

BTW, Grinity, how would you respond if it was within earshot of DS? I'm curious...

Wow. I'm not sure I'd allow her to keep teaching my child if that was her true attitude. That statement makes no sense and I cannot believe she said that in FRONT of him. I have to believe she wasn't really thinking. And I don't blame you for not responding then and there - who would expect a teacher to say that in front of a child? Does she have a warm relationship with your son? Does it seem like she really "gets" him?

I am very glad that your son has the ability to let go of things like this! My DS does as well. I also have issues with letting things go. If it were a stranger on the street, I would let it go. But since it is someone you're paying big bucks to teach your son, I'd pursue it with her. Maybe you could call or e-mail her and ask her what she meant by that?

Speaking as one whose brain gets ahead of my mouth, leaving me sounding like an idiot at times, I'd ask her to clarify and I'd do it ASAP or else let it go.
My first assumption is she was trying to convey the thought that because your child is gifted and has disabilities, that she tried to say the opposite of what she said -- intending to mean that just because he is gifted he should not be disqualified to receive help for his disabilities.

Any other explanation doesn't make sense to me unless she's a putz.

If it was within earshot, I'd say, "What lovely weather we've been having! Isn't snow cold this time of year!"

In other words, quickly change the subject.

Since we're all saying what we'd do, I'd get a new piano teacher.
DD5 started violin when she was 4 and liked it. I specifically told the teacher I was willing to pay for private because I DID NOT want her in Suzuki. No offense to all the fine suzuki children out there, DD5 doesn't have the right personality.
Fast forward to November. She has had DD play the same song over and over for 3 months. I send an e-mail because dd is getting frustrated and she responds that she knows what she is doing and basically she thought I was "projecting my feelings of inadequacy onto my child by trying to push her ahead."
Well, I won't go into details here, but I straightened her out pretty quickly. She didn't get that DD has a fine motor delay and would never "perfect" the piece to teacher's specifications at this point. It ended well and teacher started teaching DD to read music, which she is enjoying and likes to play off the music sheet, not from memory. Teacher was blown away at DD's ability to quickly pick up music reading.
I'm sorry but your teacher is very ignorant in terms of understanding cognitive abilities. Maybe there is a better teacher out there for you son.

Incog

How did she says this? In a sort of understanding tone, like she was trying to commiserate with you and show you she knew where you were coming from, or did she say it in a haughty tone like she was informing you of something? I wondered if maybe she was trying to say something like "disability masks giftedness" which I think can definitely be true. My 2e's visual disability definitely masks his giftedness in some ways but it definitely doesn't "cancel out" or take it away.

If she was being haughty then I'm with incog and I'd get a new teacher. If she was just trying to look for something to say to convey she knew where you were coming from (not that she could - but maybe she was trying) then I'd take more of an educational approach with her. Sometimes I'm sure I say totally stupid things without meaning them to be disrespectful or hurtful. That is why I try to give people the benefit of the doubt until I just can't anymore. So I guess it depends on how it was said and how you think she meant it.