My DC9 has a good freind with a child who has autism. The parents seem wonderful. I have never meet the autistic child. I was wondering if someone here could offer a 101 on autism. I was curious how would it be for my DC visiting an home with an autistic child. Should I explain anything to my child?

I don't think I could give a 101 on autism and I've been living it for 5 years. The main thing I would tell your visiting child is to be polite. Just like it is not polite to make comments about obvious physical disabilities or characteristics, no one should make comments about an autistic person in front of her/him like they don't hear you. Example: At a birthday party for a 5yo autistic boy who could not yet manage a fork to eat his cake, a friend of the sibling exclaimed, "Why is he eating like a pig?" Other don'ts include, "Why is s/he screaming?" "Why is s/he jumping around so much?" "Why is s/he twirling that toy constantly?" etc, etc. Your child should talk and attempt regular interactions, but not get feelings hurt if the attempts are not reciprocated. I wouldn't try to explain autism exactly to your child, but just the usual stuff of respecting differences in people. Hope that helps a little! Nan

I don't have any info about what to expect, but DS9 has been in classes with children with various diagnoses and disabilities and had frequent interactions with children I worked with in a SpEd classroom. The teachers provided guidance in the classrooms, when necessary. If I happened to be around, I found that DS watched me and my actions and just kinda took it from there. If he seemed uncertain about or didn't understand something, he'd follow the lead of an adult and then we'd talk about it later. He handles himself very well around those with special needs and doesn't seem uncomfortable at all. Sometimes, he does have questions, but he's learned to wait until the appropriate time/place to ask.

Perhaps if you're planning a playdate, you could be there to get to know the child/ren and also be available to help your child with anything he may not understand.

hi onthegomom
its a hard question to ask, as i have met many many children who are on the autism spectrum and no two are alike. My son was in an Early Intervention Program 5 years ago and at that time (age 2) he and his classmates seemed similar. Now they are so different, its hard to believe they have the same diagnosis. Some of the children never developed verbally and are not fully potty trained at age 7.. while others are 2e/gifted like my DS.. and a whole lot of variation in between. But i'd have to agree that you should try not to "notice" anything , as the parents are usually very keenly aware of it and sensitive to the differences. However my pet peeve is that when i do divulge to a friend that my son is on the spectrum, sometimes they just act like i told them its going to rain tomorrow...with very little interest in what i told them (maybe out of fear of appearing nosy or saying the wrong thing??) .so i guess its a hard balance sometimes.

"respecting differences in people" that's just the words I needed.

Thank you for the tips.