We have all the results of ds8's psycho-educational assessment in, finally. Basically I was thinking the whole thing would be inconclusive, the doctor had been hanging back from saying anything definitive about adhd or aspergers, although he had pointed up the processing speed issue as a deficiency which would likely impact ds grades in coming years.

The good news: Ds does not appears to have any major or even medium signs for adhd, aspergers and on the LD scale, he is certainly looking just fine (a scale showing how much any possible ld is impacting his life: very little right now).
The very bad news is, socially DS is still just floating along not connecting with kids and, unlike some kids who are not bothered by this, HE IS REALLY BOTHERED by this.

I really could not believe it when the dr. stated unequivocally that ds is actually depressed and really needs help, focusing first on social skills/ peer interaction and to go from there with possible one on one counseling for some school related anxiety. He seemed to draw a relationship between the diagnosis and some lower than expected scores on achievement testing, but didn't come right out and say that the signs and symptoms of depression can be similar to ADHD. From what I have been reading since our meeting, this does seem to be the case, at least in a younger child -
distractability, forgetfulness (forgot books again), restlessness. Ds is also having trouble sleeping but I don't think that's a sign of adhd. And, he's sad - but not really all the time. He'll just have a really really bad reaction to something that most kids might be able to laugh off. Because he is generally cheerful 'enough', this really was a shock.

So anyway, as shocked as I am and frankly a little hesitant to post about this, I decided it might be of help to other folks out there trying to figure out a kid dealing with similar, vague issues.

The ok news: This is pretty treatable stuff especially when caught at this age/stage, and some of the slowness and lack of focus should improve as he recovers. Also, just the other day he declared that his number of friends has gone up from 4 to 5 - some of the things we've learned here on this forum, and at the dr's have already been helping him fit in better.

Of course, I feel like a bad mom for being sooooo clueless on this, but I guess we did go in there with the social issue as a major question.

http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/welcome/conditions/depression.html

Thanks for posting this. It would be easy to overlook depression since so many of the child example symptoms mirror overexcitabilities. Sounds like you're starting on the road to finding a successful treatment. Would having you volunteer in his class help with the school anxiety or is he at the age where this would make things harder?

Wow! 3 years old - what a thing to deal with
Thanks masterofnone, glad to hear it is something we can get better at recognizing. The smiling is a big clue, but in retrospect. I had noticed his class picture last spring, no smile - thought it was just a boy thing. Still in other pictures his smile is forced looking, so I guess this is something to look for.

I was just reflecting on how completely missed the symptoms were in my brother's case 20+ years back, until it was a full blown crisis so, yes, I definitely feel lucky to be discovering this early.

Inky, I think you probably noticed I posted earlier on the thread about sensitivities, which is something I think ds definitely has, but I think "filing" some of his concerns and questions and moods under 'oe' or 'extra sensitive guy' may have caused me to miss some more obvious signs and in trying to negotiate what seem like overblown reactions, I have overlooked the possibility (fact) that he really does feel just as bad as he says he feels.

I am trying not to beat myself up, though I had a pretty rough weekend. Last thing anyone needs around here is a mopey mom.

Also, forgot to post to Inky that I appreciated the article on the relationship between sensitivities and depression, in the other thread! thank you!

That makes a lot of sense and is important for all of us who have children with OEs to hear.

P.S. You're very welcome.

Chris,
I responded to you on the processing speed thread and here again I find similarities. Depression has been brought up with our son 11, but not as early as 8. What I've been told is that anxiety, depression, & ADHD can be very difficult to sort out. They share symptoms, and often anxiety leads to depression and ADHD also can lead to depression. Throw in the OE piece and it can seem overwhelming (especially if you're ADHD :)).

My son has always had extra sensitivities and I think that depression can easily grow out of that. That "he really does feel just as bad as he says he feels" is so important here. One of the keys to overcoming depression is being able to acknowledge and talk about feelings. My 11 year old has learned to shut out and avoid painful feelings so much that it is difficult to get to the origin of the feeling. If your is talking, I'd just keep encouraging that behavior and take his word very seriously.

Sorry, hindsight is always so easy!