DS5 started Kindergarten this fall. His brother, DS8, was identified EG and his educational needs are finally being met through the Gifted Programming....just in time for DS5 to get my advocating attention! So here are my questions:

DS5 appears to have many high IQ qualities, exceptional memory, strong vocabulary, very sensitive, in depth conversations about life and death, etc, however he is not reading, writing or mathing at a high level...maybe not even at grade level. I'm leaning toward twice exceptional, but have little to base this on other than my gut. He frequently flips letters and sight words (am and me, B and D, the and it). He is also high anxiety and has been since birth. He's very sensitive to criticism and hates large social groups. He has struggled in Preschool with some school refusal and Selective Mutism.

At this point, he seems happy, but I want to prepare myself for next steps. The school is incredibly responsive, but I don't even know what to advocate for, if anything. I don't want to wait for problems to arise, but don't want to make problems where there are none. What if he is "normal", whatever that is LOL, and I'm making him into something more because his brother is EG?

Thanks for your thoughts.

Your children are very fortunate to have a parent who makes the effort to keep up on these things... being very observant and open to the possible implications.

For now I would suggest keeping a log or record of your child's milestones and see how the patterns may change or develop over time. At some point you may wish to have your child tested, and you having your documented milestones and observations of this child's background may be helpful.

Testing is expensive and often challenging with a 5 year old. At 5 he also wouldn't be able to do the WISC yet and might hit ceilings with the WPPSI. Testing for 2nd E's at that age is also a challenge since there is wide variation in kids. For example I think it is pretty easy for a dyslexic kid to fall into the "normal" range on most tests that would be used.

For those reasons I'd probably put off testing unless testing is going to open a door or it is needed to change something at school. I'm guessing you don't have a gifted KG program so that mostly rules out the first big reason and the school part is really dependent on the school and what would actually be needed. My 2e DS's accommodations wouldn't have been needed in the type of KG program that he was in at the time but obviously programs and accommodations vary. If it had been less play based and more about sitting at a desk writing it would have been an issue in his case.

As for what is "normal" I'd say it is pretty hard to know when you have one outlier already. I know I was hilariously off on my guess for DD7 because of my experience with DS10. Oddly enough their scores ended up surprisingly similar. My 2e DS is very obvious at both ends of things while my DD appears to be much more even and yet had surprisingly similar highs and lows (but apparently no LD). Even after two full rounds of testing for DS, reading a lot of books and hanging out here for a couple years I completely underestimated DD.

I agree with indigo, keep notes and be alert for issues but I'd probably wait until something makes you "need" testing. If your school is incredibly responsive hopefully that will help buy some time. We got more for DD in grade 1 than we ever got for DS and that was with two full psych ed and 3 years of fighting.