Hi guys,

Coming out of lurk mode for a moment to ask advice.

First of all, DS12 (anxiety, perfectionism, ASD, low self esteem) is doing somewhat better. Aside from an incident today (which I'll get to), he had gone several weeks without getting upset at school. He is slowly becoming less explosive, and is able to recover faster when he is having issues. He's doing better at explaining his side of the story rather than regressing to toddler behavior.

We've met with school personnel, including the top special ed person in the entire district, three times this school year. Each time we brought a significant list of very specific IEP violations - where school personnel clearly did not follow his IEP and it had a negative impact on his learning experience. This resulted in a re-write of the IEP provisions to clarify them, as well as reassurances that the IEP will be followed.

My wife and I have logged each IEP violation, and there continues to be about 2 a week. In spite of our sharing this information with the school, I just don't see them really pushing for any changes. While each individual teacher and staff person seems to want to do the right thing (except for 1-2 who are hopeless), DS12 slips between the cracks and no one takes responsibility for the continuing problems.

I have resigned myself to the idea that I'm just going to have to work with DS12 to make him more resilient, because the school is never going to commit to following the IEP. This is eventually how he needs to view the world anyway - I want him to self advocate and accept the occasional problem as not the end of the world. I just didn't think that we'd have to make that shift now, and I also was under the belief that the school would be able to follow a few simple rules.

In any case, that's that. Advice welcome of course.

Language arts. We have struggled all year with a curriculum that is rigid. The teachers have resisted accommodations. We finally got into a good working relationship with his main LA teacher, but she is out on maternity leave. The long term sub has different expectations, different grading criteria, does not respond to emails, and does not follow a very simple IEP provision - provide DS with WRITTEN instructions for every assignment. Often, my wife and I experience difficulty trying to decode his vague and ambiguous assignments (she has a masters in education and was a teacher, so you'd think it would at least make sense to her...)

Lately his grades have dropped from an A+ to a B+, coinciding when this sub came on board. We're very frustrated with this guy's drill and kill approach with emphasis on busywork and memorization. I'm questioning the educational value of the assignments. I'm also thinking of pulling DS from LA class for the rest of the year (6 weeks) because I think I could come up with better assignments.

To sum up, I've concluded that the school personnel have reached, their level of incompetence, they are not going to solve problems proactively, and the LA curriculum and this new sub are not benefiting my child.

Has anyone dealt with similar issues?

I stopped dealing w/ classroom teachers and now email the case manager when there is an issue w/ one of the teachers. This depends on having a decent case manager. If the case manager is clueless or incompetent, it's hopeless. Only thing you can do is try to get transferred to a different one.

I think in these types of situations it is best to start throwing out some mild threats. For instance when the IEP team wanted to drop certain services, I started talking about needing to get a facilitated IEP (someone from the State comes in to preside over the IEP meeting--it's a free service), or an advocate to come to a meeting. you could mention needing to talk to your attorney or the department of education. If that doesn't get their attention it is probably hopeless. It is very stressful and wearisome dealing w/ all of this. Good luck.

My DD was younger - 2nd grade - when we had to deal with a teacher who wouldn't or couldn't follow the IEP but I think the strategy we used would work for you. In our case DD had a full time para to scribe for her (last ditch effort before resorting to OOD placement) but anytime the para was out the teacher seemed to think DD's disabilities flew out the window and did not accommodate/differentiate anything. It created huge problems.

First - I collected work samples from when the IEP was being followed and when it was not. (In our case when the para was in the room and when she was not.)

Second - I discussed my concerns several times with the members of the team who "got it" (in our case the SW and spec Ed teacher) and they assured me that they would discuss it with teacher.

Third - I scheduled a meeting with these 2 and allowed them to explain to me what the teacher was doing, how they had complete faith in her, how DD's teacher was following the IEP, etc.

Fourth - I pulled out examples of work when the IEP was being followed and allowed them to pour forth the praise.

Fifth - I pulled out examples of work when the IEP was not being followed and allowed them to sit for a moment with their jaws hanging open then rush to give me assurances they would "take care of it."

I had an advocate and eventually did file a complaint with the DOE. We were awarded OOD a few months later. I have to say that once DD was in a supportive environment where the adults understood her LD issues her anxiety disappeared. I mean she literally no longer qualifies for an anxiety diagnoses. We had included as part of her IEP that she have the opportunity to explain her side whenever there was an issue. It was a real problem that many adults saw how smart she was amd assumed if she couldn't read/write/do math it was due to laziness/willfulness/disobedience, etc. They frequently assumed her parents were just too permissive and she needed a good dose of discipline and they were going to be the ones to give it to her. It. Was. Awful. As a smart, sensitive kid this treatment really destroyed her.

If you can't get the adults to understand and follow the IEP and you see a direct 1-1 relationship between these violations and your child's anxiety/lower acquisition of skills or knowledge then you need to respond every. Single. Time. And be prepared to escalate. Teacher doesn't respond to emails? Go immediately to team leader and principal. Immediately. Happens again? Go to sped coordinator at your distrct's central office. Happens again? Go to asst superintendent. Again? Superintendent. Now you will be ready for DOE complaint but I assume it will be addressed before that is necessary.

Good luck!

Yep, I think we're in the "hopeless" category. Case manager focuses on CYA for the teachers instead of solving problems, and we've brought our sped attorney to meetings. They know we're serious but I don't know if it is possible for them to do any better.

I don't know if things are handled differently in each district but I would think that the long term sub would be subject to more scrutiny for not doing their job properly.

Have you brought up how the long term sub is in violation of the iep to the sped teacher or sw?

Yes, and so far they are defending him as having "different standards" and they have admitted that grading is somewhat subjective. We had a whole meeting about him with administration that he did not attend.

Only six weeks left in the school year and I'm not sure how far I want to go with this. We won't have to deal with him again.

I don't mean with grading, I mean the violation of not providing written instructions for assignments.

Yes, we discussed that as well. Current solution is that the sped aide emails us with each day's hw assignments. Works fine until there is a surprise quiz on the reading. We're supposed to get 48 hours notice, but that doesn't happen. We've brought all of this up and they fix things for about a week then slack off.