This is really just a vent, so go ahead and click out if that is annoying.

Today is the last day of the first quarter. DS is off to a really good start this year, all the way around improvement over last.

Yesterday, I receive email from teacher. DS is missing two major assignments. The zeros bring his grade from the 90-somethings I've been seeing all semester, to 68%. If DS receives a 68%, he is GONE. As in the next day.

Teacher is out of compliance with 504. Assignments are to be entered in gradebook within 24 hours of making them. These assignments were made 9/17 and 9/22 and entered...yesterday.

The good news? Teacher and DS both say he did them but did not properly submit through the online system. Praying they are still on the hard drive of the computer he uses.

The other good (albeit somewhat ridiculous) news? DS can receive up to 30 extra credit points for bringing in cleaning supplies. <---yes, really. I won't comment on the ethics of this, but will thank my lucky stars I can afford to pay $15 in Clorox Wipes to tip him back into the 70% range.

This is a new teacher who has been out of compliance with 504 all year. I have made gentle, direct reminders, but was not terribly worked up about it because it is an elective class and DS had a 96% until last week.

Here are the newest qualities I am trying to develop in myself: be obsequious. Supplicating. Develop ability to beg. I wrote a pathetic email to the teacher explaining what the consequences to DS are if he does not get at least a C, and explaining this is the reason for that accommodation. I put all the blame on DS and his notoriety around failing to turn in completed work.

Just...ugh.

Yikes. I hate it when a teacher unknowingly or negligently sets up a kid to fail.

But since you have documented the teacher's non-compliance with the 504, and discriminating against a kid with disabilities, even one with high intelligence and achievement, is illegal, I think you've got the better ground here.

If they don't give him a chance to hand in or redo those assignments, they are just plain wrong. If they try to remove him from the program because of that, they are just plain wrong.

And of course, I totally sympathize too. You don't want to be the "annoying parent" who complains to the school all of the time. But you have a track record of mistakes, non-compliance, and apparently a lack of problem-solving effort.

I do NOT want to be a PITA and know first-hand how difficult the first year of teaching is...but yeah.

Sat here for an hour hovering over gradebook and refreshing compulsively. DS is out of the woods and his grade is back to 93.7 (thank you, Clorox Wipes and assignments which were apparently not purged).

I was NOT looking forward to *that* fight--and no doubt it would have been a fight. Not with the teacher, but with the coordinator, who is under the impression that the most important thing is refusing to consider evidence pointing to 504 non-compliance, and not allowing me to voice concerns.

Another morning wasted, fretting over things that shouldn't be happening in the first place. As if just trying to raise this child weren't challenging enough.

So the chlorox wipes wiped out the dirty stuff--the bad grades! That's great!

I have no idea how it is you maintain your composure. I would be furious day in and day out. I don't think DD's 504 is being followed either, and I was never even given an updated copy but at least in her case, poor grades or missing work don't really affect her at this point, other than teaching her to be careless and that it doesn't matter if she does or does not complete work. Luckily I think the school's plan is to write an IEP, but now we have the problem of her pediatrician not sending the 6 pages of ADHD checklists that the school insists upon.

Maybe Clorox should use this in their marketing materials? Ha ha!

I drink a lot of beer. :P And then there is the benefit of the numbing aspects of my PTSD. :P JK...about the beer, anyhow.

I just keep telling myself the year is so much better so far, and that this situation is not forever. Also, it's a first-world problem, isn't it? I have lowered my expectations and tried to put it all in perspective. Some days I succeed and some days, not so much.

It's still good you are proactive about all of this--I wonder if DS might have fared better if I had been a little more involved in his earlier education. I was just relieved he made good grades and seemed happy enough...we had a lot of lost ground to make up, because of my laissez faire attitude.

What's the deal with the checklists? Are they hell bent on new diagnostic info?

I drink a lot of beer. :P And then there is the benefit of the numbing aspects of my PTSD. :P JK...about the beer, anyhow.

Please don't kid about the beer. Beer is our friend. I actually favor beer over wine. Because if I crack a bottle of wine after one of THOSE days, well it's gone.

Hang in there eco. Your kiddo is so lucky to have you in there swinging.

I don't know--they already have documentation, from the pediatrician stating that she has ADHD and it meets the DSM criteria. Techinically they don't even need that from an outside doc. The school psych should be licensed, she could give DD a educational diagnosis of ADHD. But they insist upon sending these docs about 6 pages worth of forms to fill out. Doc says these forms take an hour to fill out. He said "Maybe I'll just send them my notes, instead." Ummmm....that's not going to work. The school has called his office about 6 times and now they are asking me if there are other docs where they can send the forms instead. Even the school nurse admits it's ridiculous and frustrating but she says this is what she's being instructed to do. They already have, in DD's file, documentation from 3 different docs that she has ADHD. One even included a diagnosis code. But it's not good enough.

Yes, beer is safer, isn't it?

Thank you for the kind comment. I see so many kids in my work whose parents know nothing at all about these processes (504/RTI/IEP, etc). Nobody from the district has offered them any information--big surprise, yeah? These are usually children from low SES (primarily Medicaid) and whom one would not need any kind of advanced degree to identify as needing some help. Help is not forthcoming, parents are not educated and are under-resourced. That is a whole lot sadder than having a resistant gifted program for my 2e child who will *probably* be okay in the end because he is smart enough to compensate.

Well, I'm passing the trophy for Worst District Process Ever to you, blackcat. Our district is maddening in some respects, but (so far) we haven't had this sort of trouble. For 504--all I had to produce was a letter from doctor with diagnosis. Easy/peasy.

Eco.. Been there and I'm glad you got this resolved & she accepted the late work. I'd be drinking that beer too in your situation. First I'd probably pace the house and rant at this air first.

We had frozen custard for dinner instead a beer-fest...ha ha. I did a bit of pacing and ranting...all better now.

For today's installment of Just...ugh. DS' latest OMG why don't you get it STOP IT DS moment:

He had a project worth 40 points in history.
He received 25.
I asked teacher why (teacher does not supply much feedback).
Teacher said because DS wrote "Large Empty Space Ignore It" in an empty space on his page.

So, I tell DS writing this cost him 15 points. DS is puzzled--why, he didn't think it was smart aleck... I say--I don't know, DS, but you know this teacher doesn't have a sense of humor so don't do this stuff. DS suddenly has an aha moment and says, "Oh! That was really stupid--because the minute I wrote that, the space was no longer empty, so it doesn't make any sense."

Ugh, DS.

I also see where he has written "I am just pretending to write down important information" on his notes for the class. UGH. Do not turn in that stuff, DS!!

It's really strange how some teachers seem to find him quirky and funny and others are mortally offended by his style.

Guess what class his lowest grade is in, even though it's his favorite subject outside of school? :P

This is where having a grading rubric comes in handy, as it clearly communicates what the grading will be based on, thereby managing student expectations. Rubrics can also be a benefit to the teacher as grading & providing feedback are easier when utilizing a streamlined process.

DS didn't have anything in writing regarding requirements on this assignment, but the teacher said "It was on the board for two weeks." That doesn't help me much, when I'm trying to help DS get better at this stuff...

Nary a rubric in sight. Requirements in this class have been unclear all year. DS is going to have to just STOP in this class. It sounds unlikely, but he doesn't seem to understand why this kind of thing is a bad idea.

Yes, indeed he has to stay on-topic in his writing. Some might call this developing a filter, so that all his thoughts are not blurted out... but rather are filtered through one or more mental questions, which he silently asks himself, such as: is this on-topic, how does this add to the current theme, who is the audience, what are some likely reactions/responses of the audience, etc.

Meanwhile, it may be possible to examine the works and sketch a brief rubric. This might begin with a matrix or spreadsheet consisting of 5 or so criteria, each given a value of 0-5 points (or 1-4, or 1-5, etc). For example:
- grammar/readability/use of full sentences (scale of 1-5 based on presence/absence of errors, style, etc)
- proper APA citation format (scale of 1-5 based on fidelity to APA format; Purdue Owl is one well-known authoritative resource for citation information)
- number of resources cited (scale of 1-5 depending on number of resources)
- development of theme (scale of 1-5 based on degree of coherency)
- original thought/analysis/synthesis/connections/conclusions (scale of 1-5 based on depth of insight articulated)

Something like this could be a simple checklist for your son to utilize as he writes, guiding him in his work. He may soon become adept in making up his own structures to guide himself.

After developing a sample rubric for this particular assignment which both you and your son see as reasonable, it may be possible to approach the teacher with the idea of a rubric as a "communication tool" to efficiently state expectations, as well as ease her grading/feedback burden (the time it takes for her to grade and provide feedback). The idea would not be to push for use of your particular rubric, but to offer it as an exemplar which she may adopt/adapt.

The rubric may also help the teacher keep the significance of your son's off-topic sentence in perspective; A 15 point deduction may have been disproportionate and harsh.

Yes, the lack of filter is an ongoing issue. Only in certain personality permutations, though.

DS really just needs a hard and fast rule, other than the one he came up with last year: "Just don't say anything."

We've tried "contain the snark" but that one doesn't always work because he is sometimes being snarky and sometimes being clueless. His communication style sounds snarky when it's truly not his intention, as well as when it is.

I think 15 points was a bit harsh, but also not unexpected (by me, anyhow). DS is eternally optimistic. Or maybe naive. There is no way the teacher would respond to my providing a rubric--he hasn't responded to much simpler requests or questions. I'm not too worried about it, kind of "considering the source" and not sweating it too much.

I wish I could accelerate DS' maturity process, though.

eco, I apologize - I haven't had time to read the other replies, so I'll apologize if I repeat something that's already been mentioned. The reason your ds has his accommodation isn't to prevent him from getting a bad grade (although that is what it does in practice). The reason he gets the accommodation is because he has a disability that impacts his organizational skills which in turn makes it difficult for him to stay on top of homework organization. If the accommodation were given simply to ensure a student didn't get a low grade because they forgot to turn in homework, then there would be a lot of students requesting a 504 plan with that accommodation. So... when you are in a situation like this, I'd stay non-emotional and simply repeat repeat repeat that he has a 504, restate his challenge etc. When a teacher isn't following the 504 document it with emails, first to the teacher, and then if it continues cc the 504 team, and if that doesn't result in a change, call a team meeting. CC or call in the district 504 supervisor at some point if you don't get results.

Advocating is *tough*, and chances are that in any given year, there's going to be at least one teacher who doesn't bother following the 504 or isn't interested or doesn't like it that your ds has a 504 or whatever... but begging isn't what works in the long run to change a teacher's mind. Actually you probably won't change the teacher's mind. Advocate from a point of strength, keep the focus on the impact of the disability and documenting issues in writing.

Hang in there,

polarbear

You know what I have learned? Being the annoying parent totally has it's pay-offs. Everyone has this big fear of being the "annoying parent." I did too. For a very short time. Well, I got over it. And I am officially an "annoying parent" and guess what? It's good! It's also liberating! I never worry anymore about being "annoying" before I request, seek or even demand, which is liberating. I get to just go ahead and set about getting what my son needs; it's so nice not have to have that step of figuring out how to go about it without being annoying. I could not care less if Mrs. So-and-So thinks I am annoying. It's not my concern what is in her head. I also feel respected. Much more so then when I tried being the nice/likeable/non-annoying parent. They take me serious and deal with me rather than blowing me off because the quicker they deal with me they can lessen their annoyance. These people are not my friends. I have friends. They are not my family. I have family. They are professionals who may be held accountable and I treat them as such. My job is to ensure that they are doing their job, which is educating and giving my son access to his education. My job is not to be the 'most liked (least annoying) parent' in the school. Also, I think my kid actually gets better teachers due to it. The administration knows that if my son gets one that is not good the amount of "annoyance" he will have to deal with from me is so not worth it Last year, my son had great teachers and as a result we had one and only one meeting. They year before I think we had 8 iep meetings! They now realize it is in their best interest to not annoy the annoying parent!

I know you are right, polarbear but the funny thing is--when I tried reminding the teacher the "right" way--he didn't do anything to correct a different situation, but when I explained the reason for the accommodation (keeping gradebook current) was so I can intervene if DS goes off the rails, in time to keep him from being booted, I got a much more sympathetic response!

This is only for this year. I won't have to be so ridiculous after this--but for now, I just have to do whatever. At least that is how it feels...

Good point, Irena. I'm glad that's not my job...pretty sure I'd be out of work.

LOL! me too, obviously!

I don't really have a point in saying this--but, Irena, your post and also polarbear's kind of reminded me of a couple of important things about DS' 504. Maybe I just want to get my thoughts out in writing. I've somehow been kind of brainwashed into thinking the school is doing DS a BIG FAVOR by giving him a 504.

Fact is, the two most important "accommodations" in his 504 are not accommodations at all. They describe professional, responsible teacher behaviors of 1) keeping grade-book up to date by putting in assignments as they are made and 2) responding to my email. The only reason these items are in the 504 is because these things didn't happen last year and it had a pretty horrible impact on my child.

No student and/or parent (with or without disability) should find out the day the quarter ends their child hasn't been handing in major assignments and is failing. Especially if the grade has looked to be an A until that day--obviously there are cases when a grade is borderline and a test or something like that tips the scales.

I get that teachers fall behind and it is a hard job but we shouldn't really have to have things like this written in legal documents. Duh.

Yeah, I actually was thinking this as I was reading your posts. What your son needs and what you are asking for is really just " professional, responsible teacher behavior."

I actually am having a similar problem with DS's math teacher this year. (and it turns out I am not the only person having the issue.. the parents of the NT kiddos want/need the info, too, and are also frustrated). I shot off an email to said teacher this morning - trying to stay on top of her and get her listing the assignments and such on Google Classroom every week. I had to go back through my email before I sent it and took out all the places I apologized and said "don't mean to bother you." This is her job... And it is a very simple small part of her job. She is simply being lazy. I had to take an hour out of my day (and I bill for my time!) to badger her into doing a very basic aspect of her job. And, in place of apologizing, I told her that. If she does not want to have this argument with me every week or so, she'd better shape up. I started cc'ing the principal again, because I know he does not want to be bothered with it and because it is very blatantly professional, responsible teacher behavior!

Anyway, sorry to highjack but I hear you! And I have to give myself my own lecture of "My job is not to be the 'most liked (least annoying) parent' in the school" every once in while as well.

Oh my gosh eco - you are living my (snark-filled) life.

I made the awful-in-hindsight decision to let DS7 watch a Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of a Godzilla movie. He loved it sooooo much. Over the next couple weeks, I let him watch a couple more - the dreadful Master Ninja and Santa Claus Conquers Mars.

It was fun to listen to him belly laugh. But then ... the snark started. To be clear - the snark with NO FILTER. Snarky asides during reading time at school. Snarky asides at dinner. Snarky asides while playing basketball. Snarky asides during conversations re "cut the snark."

And of course - these are snarky asides by a PG kid. So - funny, cutting, sometimes devastating.

MST3K is off the menu for now. Snark is sfading a bit. Me - I'm just wondering what my next brilliant misstep will be.

Take care eco. I''m feeling your pain over here!

Sue
P.S. In the interest of full disclosure: last week in a borrrrring meeting, I was struggling to stay awake so I literally typed in my notes, "Just looking busy, typing things and nodding thoughtfully. Note to self - ask 'big picture' question in a few minutes so people think you're listening." So, well, your DS is not alone.

I'm confused. Did DS not answer a 15-point question and write that comment instead, or did he just write the comment but otherwise answer all of the questions? If it is the latter, the teacher has no business taking off points.

Bear with me for a minute on this one - I might sound slightly off my rocker and/or non-sympathetic, but this is something we've struggled with quite a bit (not updating online grade books and teachers who don't respond to email)... so yeah, you might think I'm nuts after you read what I'm thinking, but here it is:

After knowing quite a few teachers and having been through many different teachers as my kids move through secondary school, I think that it's important to remember that teachers have a responsibility to grade fairly, give feedback to students, but I don't necessarily think it's a responsibility to update online grade books by a certain date or answer each and every email a parent sends (unless their prinicipal/school district requires it). Each of us has a different way we choose to approach our jobs, and teachers aren't any different. My ds has some teachers who update the online grade books promptly and others who don't, and at the end of the day, he's only had one real struggle that I would say is due to teacher blatantly not caring to update a gradebook. Some teacher simply have different ways of managing their duties, and yet they are still being responsible and for most kids it can work out a-ok. That *is* why students with organizational skills challenges and EF challenges do need accommodations. If a particular teacher isn't upholding their agreed-upon accommodation (gradebook entries or answering emails), it's time to call a 504 update meeting with that teacher and either reinforce the agreement so it sticks or consider that there might be a slightly different way to approach the accommodation in that class yet accomplish the same objective.

Hope that makes sense!

polarbear

I'm equally confused! One suggestion we've had given to us when we had issues with not understanding grading was to request that all graded assignments be sent home so parents can see them. If it was an assignment that wasn't meant to be sent home (happens a lot here in high school because they re-use the same assignments year after year)... then the student would have to return the assignment to school the next day - but it had to come home first.

polarbear

You made me laugh so hard, Sue! Especially the "ask big picture question" thing--maybe I will teach DS that trick while I'm trying to teach him all the other ones. I hope your DS outgrows the snark earlier than mine has...

I don't know yet. It wasn't the kind of assignment that had actual questions, more like a graphic representation of something. I asked if he had left out information but haven't received a response. My hunch is the teacher thinks DS was being inappropriate by putting that in the space. DS said he should have written larger on the rest of it, and then he wouldn't have had the space. No biggie--just another day in the life. I don't expect to hear back from the history teacher, based on history. :P


Nope, I don't think you are nuts but as a former teacher myself, I do think it's a teacher's responsibility to monitor and make sure any child isn't failing before the last day of a quarter. The grade-book thing is just a communication piece for us--it could be accomplished some other way, certainly.

Same goes for email. Maybe some email isn't urgent, but I'm thinking about last year when my child was circling the drain and two of his three core teachers were ignoring my "weekly check in" email (504) and not letting me know about (what must have been--I still don't even know!) serious behavioral issues. My child was clinically depressed and I thought he was okay when he was so not okay they rated him as at-risk or clinically significant on every. single, area. of the BASC-2, BRIEF, and sensory surveys they filled out! That's not responsible and it's not okay--but I don't think that's the sort of thing you are talking about, probably.

It is quite acceptable to have 'this page is intentionally blank' on things though. Diagrammes fill up space better though.

Is there a stated rule against doodling on projects? Would 15 points have been deducted for random swirls or flowers? What about a random scribble to get the ink going on your pen?
I think the teacher is out of line, and I hope your DS stays quirky! FWIW I kinda regret how much time I spent talking my older DD out of being weird and wish I'd spent that time instead talking other people out of being uptight. Yes, you have to learn about appropriate behavior for certain people/situations but, come on, that's nothing on the weirdness scale

Oh yeah there are unwritten rules against doodling - at least in this part of the world!!! My daughter is a champion doodler, and it has gotten her in trouble! I haven't seen points taken off yet though. She started the year trying to be "super good" and now those doodles are creeping back in. I wonder when the teachers will notice those snarky cartoon she does. The teachers caught her last year and put her on alert. Scared her for awhile.
Notice that the cartoons are "snarky". Sigh. It can rub some the wrong way for sure.

LOL.. Good luck in H.S. getting a test send home tests NEVER EVER EVERY come home. Particularly in math. Your child usually gets the tests returned and usually 15-20 minutes to look it over and then they are returned to the teacher to be LOCKED IN A FILE CABINET NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN. (Unless it's a final, you never see those.) I tried to see some of my DD's math tests (she had an IEP) and it was extremly difficult. I had to make an appointment with the teacher, remind teacher ahead of time I wanted to look at X test, and sometimes they wouldn't even comply. The teachers don't even have ready access to the file cabinet they lock them in.

It's because cheating is a HUGE issue & they want to re-use tests. I have a better idea.. Return the tests and make NEW TESTS every year. That seems to be a crazy novel idea.

As for graded being updated. I think students do have a right to have their work returned in a timely manner. For example last spring in science my son's teacher didn't return ANY labs second semester until the last week of school. FIRST lab was marked 15% off because he didn't put in enough details. And guess what so were the rest of the labs because he didn't get the feedback and more detail was necessary. Hurt his grade and since it was already the end of school there wasn't much to do about it. (And this wasn't just him.)

I'll excuse teachers for extenuating circumstances. And teachers don't all need to be on the same time line. But it's inexcusable when teachers leave ALL the grading until the last week or so of school.