In short, I think it went well.

An administrator from the district's main office ran the meeting. She has a reputation for being a problem solver, and it seems as if her reputation is deserved. She took copious notes and had a number of helpful suggestions. She also told the teachers and staff that they had to implement certain accommodations that they were reluctant to previously.

In any case, I spent a lot of time going over DS's psychological review, IQ tests, and his apparent skill deficits. The team listened and seemed to appreciate what I was saying. I provided a few concrete examples of where the school was either not in compliance with the IEP or not implementing the IEP effectively.

We ended up getting a verbal agreement for all of the changes we asked for. I'm going to be watching to ensure that the final version accurately reflects the agreements. In essence, we now have:

1) More explicit directions on open-ended or vague in class assignment and homework.

2) Reduced math problem sets.

3) Assignment notebook checked by staff each day, emails to us if there is a particular assignment that we should look for.

4) He does not have to take notes in class if he does not want to.

5) He will get an alternative assignment for the problematic assignment in art. Also, the art teacher and aide that have not been helpful in art will have special training from the district on his disability.

The only thing that I didn't get 100% buy in for was not punishing him for his behavior issues. He has never been a danger to himself or anyone else, but he can be insubordinate. The staff seem to agree that the underlying issue is anxiety, but they still butt heads with him rather than letting minor outbursts slide. We'll have to work on that one.

One more observation - the LBS that has been working with him for the last year seems to be the least helpful person overall (she should be the most helpful, you'd think). She is great at reporting problems but does not look for antecedents or solutions. On the bright side, she is 8 months pregnant and will likely be out of the picture for a while. Hopefully they hire someone better.

Anyway, so far so good.

Oh, and his behavior has been outstanding for yesterday and today. Could be the change in meds, could be something else. Go figure.

This is good news all around. As for the punishing (I hate that word), this is probably always going to be a sticking point, don't you think? The important thing, IMO, is that consequences are framed as consequences and that there is some actual learning for DS involved. Cause/effect...and making sure the adults understand that communication needs to be clear, rational, and non-emotional (tall order).

What is LBS? Behavioral specialist or something like that? Yes, ironic that the person who should be a critical facilitator doesn't seem to understand the role. I hope her baby is happy and healthy and...born on the early side of normal. :P

Yay! So glad to read this. I did read a bit about Abilify and it sounds like it has some mood stabilizing properties? I'm going with med change. Does DS seem to feel better? Are you seeing any troubling side effects?

I just thought of another thing--I think you mentioned DS had been having sleep issues. IME, solving the sleep stuff is the foundation of all mental health issues. I hope that is improving, also.

The concern the assistant principal expressed is that non-compliance can be dangerous in an emergency. He does have a point, but that has never been an actual issue so far, thankfully.

I think the real issue is that some staff don't like it when kids mouth off to them (who does?) but refuse to consider DS's disability.


LOL, yeah LBS is learning behavioral specialist, and is dedicated to DS's program, since there are several ASD/ IEP kids in there. But she just doesn't seem to get neuro-diversity at all, and expects all kids to be pretty much the same. I think she makes honest efforts, but unfortunately, her skill set is limited.



We're still early in the process so it is too soon to tell, but after a month of hyper / manic behavior and all sorts of issues at school, DS seems to be much calmer on the lower Prozac dosage and Abilify. He is still fragile, but seems to recover faster from setbacks. But we've been down this path before, so I'm not counting those chickens just yet...

He's been better lately. He had been getting to bed late because of the excessive homework assignments taking forever to complete and the residual stress therefrom. But now that we've had some reductions, he's usually in bed by 9pm reading, with lights off at 9:30.

He rarely sleeps more than 8 hours per night, but that's my DNA. His mom and brother will both sleep 10 hours and then complain that they didn't get enough.

It sounds like you've made great progress BSM - great work advocating!


Do you know what type of training she had? Can you request specific training for the next LBS?

I'll also be hoping for an early delivery

Best wishes,

polarbear

My understanding is that that the training is fairly minimal, like the minimal training our district requires for gifted teachers.

They just posted the job opening for her replacement. Here is all it says: "Requires current IL Professional Educator License with endorsement(s) appropriate for position." Seems more than a little vague.

I'm on my phone so this may be confusing. My reaction to the admin's safety concerns is that this reasoning supports the need to look for appropriate interventions regarding behavioral issues. If punishing doesn't *work* DS needs something that does work, to address the safety issues.

Not that I expect the typical school staff to follow that logic, ha.

Are you implying that logic and public education don't always go together?

I told him that if he wants compliance then he needs to establish a trust relationship with DS. DS will comply with almost anything I ask, as long as I don't make it a command or order, and don't say it with an angry voice. While I try not to get mad, criticize or speak harshly...occasionally I get frustrated after a long day of dealing with DS, but I've learned that I get better results staying calm.

As a result, I think that DS knows he's in a safe environment, and will relax and behave more easily. At school, on the other hand...

Our NP made a recommendation that DS has a "safe person" at school. This recommendation wasn't implemented (of course). Is that something your school people talk about?

Yup on the approach being so important to gain compliance. DS here can look like a doorstop (or worse) if I try to get all authoritarian with him. Angry voice? Forget about it...he hears "anger" when it's actually much milder (frustration, annoyance). Interestingly, he also uses "anger" to describe any confusing emotion of his own...


I'll let you reach your own conclusions. I have always found it interesting that institutions that (supposedly) value knowledge seem to be just about the last to implement it. It would be very easy to supply the school with a mountain of research that punishment just doesn't work for any child, long term. I'm not suggesting that, btw. You have more important things to do.

No one brought this up but I had thought about it - a staff member who DS could view as a reliable "buddy" and sounding board. It would be a nice solution, but I don't see anyone that I know of at the school taking on such a role.

Your DS and mine are cut from the same cloth. Mine has trouble discerning excitement vs. anger. Sometimes I've been excited about something and spoken to him in a loud voice, and he's concluded that I was angry. It is the weirdest thing. I put it down to my growing up in a loud, obnoxious New York family. I'm still getting used to the relatively laid back midwest.

A friend's child was supposed to be able to ask for the assistant principal when overwhelmed. It worked when the adult in the situation allowed it but often his twin brother had to make it happen. It needs buy in or the teacher gets angry about it.