So, today DS6 "officially" was diagnosed with ASD. He is also borderline gifted, and the psychologist thought that his scores were probably an underestimate.

Someone tell me what to read and how to start processing this. I feel lost at sea.

Hi, ElizabethN--

It won't always be this confusing. And the outcomes for gifted kids with ASD can be excellent-- so you need not consider the ASD as a damper on any dreams.

Rather, I'd consider it a determining factor in setting priorities for your DS's learning in the near and medium term.

Our experience with DS now 12 was that early elementary school was very hard-- we were remediating social skills and behavior like crazy, while constantly solving problems with school-- but things got steadily easier as those skills got better. Now, at 12, the giftedness is more determining of his educational needs than the ASD is. Those hard investments pay off.

I will second the recommendation of ABA. A good practitioner makes a completely individual program: that is, it will target the specific skills your child needs to develop. Ours taught us how to be the parents DS needed, and worked very hard to get school on board with what was needed as well.

Medication can be an important component for some people: medicating for anxiety, or attention, or both, can seriously improve the situation. We use a specialist, a developmental pediatrician, for meds and all medical stuff related to the ASD.

You can feel free to PM (or search my past copious posts...). You're not alone.

DeeDee

You may have read this elsewhere on the forums, but wrightslaw and the book From Emotions to Advocacy are helpful resources, as is NCLD, Understood.org, and 2e newsletter.

The information at the above links can guide a parent to accessing needed support services for their child in school.
More info at this link to Wrightslaw Game Plan: writing S.M.A.R.T IEPs. In general, parents may find it most effective to list out:
1) each specific skill deficit to be addressed,
2) ways in which the skills may be acquired (taught/learned/practiced),
3) measures which will indicate progress or mastery for each skill.

While parents are not in the classroom learning environment to ensure these techniques are utilized in the school setting, coaching and support from parents who are aware of the specific approaches, techniques, and strategies can be helpful for ongoing consistency and reinforcement at home. From that perspective, having online resources and/or a book on hand to refer to can be helpful.

Hi there -

First, hugs. Secondly, there are many many amazing people who had some form of ASD, made great contributions to society and had wonderful lives. He is also 6 and the brain is very plastic at this age. So you are in the best possible position to be a great parent for him as you have information to help him and he is young enough to receive the full benefit.

Everything the posters above have said is excellent advice, I don't have anything to add except to say, you are doing a great job. Give yourself time to process, and do something nice for yourself.

Thank you all. I appreciate all the links and suggestions. I'm not really very worried (yet) about advocacy - he already has an IEP, and I suspect he's not going to require very major adjustments to it right away. I'm also not new to the world of 2e - my daughter is a Davidson scholar and was diagnosed with dysgraphia and possible ADHD several years ago, so I more or less know how that part works.

I'm hoping that someone can say, "Oh, when I was at this point, I read {title} and it really gave me some clarity to move on." Gigantic lists of resources on Hoagie's aren't very useful without some guidance about what's good for me to understand at this stage. I ordered one book that the psychologist recommended (Optimistic Parenting) - maybe it will help. Right now, I'm just trying to do the next thing each day.

Well, when I was at that point I relied on a few carefully chosen contacts and pelted them with requests for advice for a year or two until I had the hang of it. :-)

The OASIS Guide to Asperger Syndrome can be useful, as can Parenting Your Asperger Child. Neither of them had all the answers, but they are sensible and served as background for me.

It's great that you are not new to the world of IEPs, and that you've already got the IEP. Adjusting is easier than starting from scratch.

I don't have anything to read on ABA, but the principle is to choose a skill to target, teach and reinforce it till it's mastered, then keep reinforcing it for a while in a variety of contexts until it becomes natural. We find this a useful tactic in all areas of life.

Happy to talk as needed,
DeeDee