I've posted a few times regarding DS's social skills in second grade. We received a screening back (routine from the school) indicating that DS has problems with expressive/receptive social skills (poor use interpretation of nonverbal cues, self centered conversation, and problems maintaining the topic). He has few friends and seems to have significant trouble connecting with the other children (he can be annoying and doesn't read their cues to cut it out). He can be uncooperative if his ideas aren't the ones chosen and seems to have interests that far diverge from other seven year olds. He's also inattentive to tasks that he isn't interested in, interrupts, asks irrelevant questions, and doesn't engage well emotionally. He has some social anxiety that comes across as blatant rudeness and inappropriateness.

His IQ scores are high (DYS qualified) and fairly even- processing was the only non-gifted area, but still in the 91st percentile. WJ Achievement tests were all 98 through 99.9999 percentile on every subtest. His academics are excellent and he seems to be advanced in all core areas (math, reading and writing).

The speech pathologist suggested a learning disability. I'm thinking HFA or ADHD.

Maybe I just need a calming mantra, ideas, or something to account for DS, his lack of friendships, and his teachers' frustrations even though he's far academically advanced.

Are you familiar with the work of Michelle Garcia Winner and her website Social Thinking?

Some families also find the "Being the Best Me" and "Learning to Get Along" series of kids' social skills books to be helpful.

Magination Press (American Psychological Association) also offers books on social skill development.

Thanks Indigo- I will check out the sites. DS just has a lot of trouble with social cues and obsessive behavior. Sometimes it's extremely hard for me to be patient with him, and I know that he struggles. I imagine that his peers and teachers get very irritated.

Possibly he does not perceive the patterns in behavior and interaction which others may pick up on easily. Often direct teaching may help.

What is obvious to one is not necessarily obvious to another.

So many capabilities may be brain-based, and people learn to compensate by training one part of the brain to help out with other weaker areas.

While teaching him to notice patterns in behavior and interaction, you may also wish to ask him what he sees in different situations. Learning how he experiences sticky situations may help provide clues as to what he may need to learn to be more observant of and more responsive to.

I'd say have him evaluated by someone who sees lots and lots of gifted, ASD, and ADHD kids, with the aim of finding a detailed profile of strengths and weaknesses. Our best ever eval was at a children's hospital autism center.

Often such an eval can be used to leverage direct instruction on weaknesses and acceleration in areas of strength.

Another good place for ASD evals is the May Institute, which has locations in most of the Eastern seaboard states, and a few others, including California. Although they do often have the actual grunt work of evals done by neuropsych post-doctoral interns (that's usually the case at hospital clinics, too), they are supervised by licensed psychs, and, critically, they see a huge volume of a great variety of spectrum-y children, which usually means they're in a better position to distinguish HFA from other Dxs. Also, they generally have excellent follow-up support.