Has anyone ever had this happen before? This afternoon the principal who has caused so many problems for our DD literally stormed out of our IEP meeting in a huff. We were recording the meeting so I made a point of ensuring her behavior was documented and went on to list for the record all the damaging things she has done to DD over the past year+. We also asked that she be removed as the listed administrator for our IEP team, especially since the district has representatives from central office attend our meetings. After the meeting our consultant spoke with the Director of Pupil Personnel Services and said "You just witnessed why this placement cannot work."

I am thinking of contacting the superintendent - who we previously met with in January and expressed our concerns about this principal then- but want to be sure of my position before I do. Our consultant said he has never seen another principal storm out of a meeting and yet this is the second time this one has done it to us. This is the same principal who insisted that DD's classroom must have a color chart despite it being her biggest anxiety trigger, who insisted that DD was violating the school's "no hat policy" despite it being agreed to in an IEP meeting that she could wear one to attempt to reduce her migraines, who punished her for an anxiety response with the explanation that she didn't understand that the IEP applied or realize that DD had an anxiety component to her IEP, who failed to appropriately address bullying issues last year and only addressed them this year after an initial failure to follow through that we called her on, etc, etc, etc. It has been a very bumpy road to say the least.

Interestingly no one else in the meeting had any reaction to her behavior. No comments, no body language, nothing. A friend who teaches in the district said both that anyone in the meeting would have been written up if they responded in any way and that any teacher would have been severely disciplined if they walked out on a parent meeting or IEP meeting. She was dumbfounded that the principal could possibly do this. "As the principal she CAN'T leave a meeting. She just can't." I can't even begin to imagine how severely she would have punished any student who behaved the way she did.

Our dealings with this woman have been so awful that nothing surprises me anymore. Can anyone provide some useful feedback here?

I have never seen anything like that. Lots of other things, yeah, but not that.

I would say that you have some nice new evidence in your pocket. Take advice from your consultant before you take any steps. I imagine the Director of Pupil Personnel Services had to report the meeting outcome to someone? It will be interesting to see what happens.

This is certainly reportable to the superintendent; but let your consultant guide you on what is strategic.

DeeDee

Wow, Pemberly, I am so sorry. She sounds awful. Keep up the good work advocating for your DD... I wish I had some advice for you. I was actually concerned beforehand that our principal would storm out of our IEP meeting. He seems the type... but even he didn't do that (yet). I hope you get great OOD placement soon!

MoN - I know you like to take the "kill em with kindness approach" but I just need to clarify here. This was not a subtle slipping out early scenario. I mean she STORMED out of the room. Grabbed her keys and her walkie-talkie and had to get by at least six people (sadly for her that included me, my consultant and DH) as she made her way from the far side of the table to the door. It was quite the scene...

Also I want to point out that when we described similar behavior at last June's IEP meeting (the one where principal said that DD's anxiety was her own problem not the district's and she "just needs to get over it) to the superintendent she a) said "I know if I was at that meeting I would have heard some things that would have made me very unhappy" and b) let us know that the Director of Special Services (who has since left the district and has been replaced by Director of Pupil Personnel in handling our case) was absolutely NOT in a supervisory position to the principal. The assistant superintendent/director of elementary education no-showed to a meeting last summer so we have made clear we will no longer try to work with him. That leaves only the superintendent...

Uh, yeah. What was said that pushed her past her (personal) breaking point?


It sounds like the superintendent already knows well who you are and how you and your DD have been treated. To me, this seems like one where you 1) document everything in writing; 2) get an appointment with superintendent and go over the documentation verbally 3) ask superintendent to solve this problem. But-- I am not a lawyer, and I think that you are getting to the point where you need at least the consultant and maybe a special ed lawyer. I think no communication with the principal or district should happen without the advice of your professional team...

What a nightmare. I hope you can find humor value in the outrage. Somewhere.
DeeDee

I don't suppose you were secretly filming?

What led to this DeeDee?

This was the third meeting in less than 3 weeks - each approximately 2 hours long. The purpose was to review and implement recommendations from the Assistive Technology Evaluation. I have reviewed on other threads how the first 2 meetings went so I won't repeat here. This one finally addressed the AT issue. They are implementing direct instruction in keyboarding and getting her started on using Dragon Dictation. They are providing an iPad. They are adding additional OT time and extra time in the resource room for her to do Lexia and Dragon. They are switching her from a part-time to a full-time para. It has been a long time coming but finally they are providing what we believe she needs. Heartbreaking that she has so many challenges, exhausting and frustrating that it took so long to get here but all in all good developments.

After all of this was ironed out the Director of Pupil Personnel Services (DPP) said that they want to do a Functional Behavior Analysis to see what is actually triggering DD's anxiety in school. No mention of this beforehand. Consultant has been trying to get a meeting with DPP for a month and a half to discuss just how badly off the tracks this situation and our relationship with the district has gotten. She has been putting him off but weeks ago agreed she would meet with him yesterday, No one expected it would be the same day as an IEP meeting. The person from the district handling our case last year (DSS) worked closely with our consultant. They discussed everything in advance so we had productive meetings and got everything done efficiently. Until the meeting on the next to last day of school last year, just days before DSS was leaving the district, all went pretty well. The principal did a lot of really bad things - mostly documented here - but each time DSS worked with me and/or consultant to address them. There was a lot of bad blood created but DSS did a really good job of moving things forward.

So now when the DPP brings up this FBA idea my only thought is "Why now? Why didn't you decide to formally look at what was triggering DD's anxiety when your principal was going out of her way to antagonize her anxiety and create a hostile educational environment? Why didn't you decide to do this when your teacher was insisting on using a behavior management system that was clearly triggering DD and was refusing to change it? " I did not say these things but instead asked to speak to our consultant outside "So I don't say anything you don't want me to."

When we came back into the room consultant explained that we needed to discuss this idea with DD's therapist and we would get back to the team. DPP said "OK let the record show that the district has offered to do a Functional Behavior Analysis to determine the cause of [DD]'s anxiety and the parents have refused." Both consultant and the "new DSS", who was brought into the case the day after the last explosive meeting last year and knows it inside and out, jumped in saying that is not what was said, that is not accurate, etc. DPP then started trying to convince us that this FBA would be looking at the entire school situation, that they are trying to do what is best for DD, that no one is understanding why she is experiencing anxiety at school, etc. I turned to consultant and told him that I thought I needed to say some things. He shrugged and nodded.

I got as far as "Why are you doing this now? Why didn't you do this when your principal was taking actions to intentionally trigger this child's anxiety?" That is when principal pushed back in her chair, gathered her keys and her walkie-talkie and started towards the door in dramatic fashion. It went on from there after she left the room and I spelled out a litany of bad behavior on the part of the principal. I included a few statements about the current classroom teacher but she sat there. She didn't move a muscle. She remained completely professional. As I ran down this list of things the principal had done no one defended her. No one disputed any of it. No one tried to correct me or point out that anything I was saying was wrong. No one reacted at all to her leaving the room. Of course nothing I said was new. I had voiced the exact same concerns to the SW, the "new DSS", the spec ed teacher, the superintendent and the state Dept of Ed. I also had made clear to all of them that I did not want to be put in a position of saying these things at an IEP meeting - I wanted it handled privately. Yeah, that worked out well...

Pemb, the level of misbehavior you are facing is horrifying. You may need a lawyer. Keep documenting **everything** (I hope you are pasting these posts into a log at home, with dates). You need a log of every instance of your DD showing school-related anxiety, of accommodations not being given, etc. The works.

I wonder whether it is worth you and Consultant having a meeting with New DSS and Superintendent. But only Consultant can help you figure out what is strategic at this point...

Hang in there. Your DD is entitled to an education.

DeeDee

Yeah... time to move up the chain. This principal is opening this school up to a massive lawsuit and I'm certain the superintendent would want to know about this behavior.

Have a meeting scheduled with the superintendent for next week. They had to rearrange other meetings to get us in so I guess they are taking it seriously. When I asked if they had already cleared the time with "new DSS" or if I should let her know the assistant said "The superintendent will decide if it is appropriate for new DSS to attend." I take this to mean we have entered "personnel issue" zone rather than "DD issue" zone. This could be interesting.

Are you planning on bringing all of the principal's documented bad behaviors (shows a pattern)?

Ugh. Good luck.

I ran the question of this FBA eval past DD's psych and she said "no way" - that it is totally inappropriate. So it seems that all of this fuss and drama was for nothing. They blindsided us and tried to force us into approving an eval on the spot, tried to get the record to reflect that we rejected their request when in reality we said we needed to discuss with DD's psych and it turns out to be a totally inappropriate eval.

You can't make this stuff up if you try...

Perhaps you could suggest to the superintendent that it seems to be time to do a Functional Behavior Analysis to determine what is triggering the principal's anxiety?

I won't say this is all unbelievable, because I have seen plenty of school administration behaviors that take the cake, but it is all unacceptable to say the least. I hope your superintendent gets it straightened out for you!

I am with MON, though -- the sweet "noticed you left early, are you ok" email is not about a "nice approach", it's about provoking a response that you can use against her. If you get a nice response (unlikely), that's all well and good and you can leave it at face value, and if you get no response, same thing, but more likely you could get an insane rant and that's ammunition. Made even better by the fact that it was in response to a perfectly nice email of yours.

Superintendent meeting was yesterday - well, sort of. I told Consultant I would really rather he speak to her alone if possible. I figured he could talk "superintendent to superintendent." Cut through all the nonsense and try to (finally) get something substantive done for DD.

So we got there and he asked to speak alone for a few minutes. New DSS was there and totally acting submissive and awkward, wouldn't make eye contact with us, scrambled to find a room where she could wait rather than be anywhere near me and DH. About 40 minutes later Consultant came out, smiling, and said "Let's get out of here and grab a cup of coffee." DH and I never entered superintendents office.

Apparently they dispensed with the principal's outrageous behavior pretty quickly. "I am aware of it and am addressing it. Obviously I expect my staff to behave in a professional manner at all times. I can't discuss it but I am aware of it and am addressing it." Consultant told her "the parents understand that." He said superintendent appreciated that we handled it this way. However this opened up the opportunity for him to explain why this situation absolutely cannot continue. The parents feel disrespected and cannot trust the district. It is unfortunate because the district is spending a lot of money and providing a lot of services but this situation simply cannot continue. "We just had 6 hours of [IEP meetings] involving 12 people all to review and implement a simple AT eval. And that is going to happen with everything. This cannot keep happening."

So after indicating that he has tried to work with new Director of Pupil Personnel Services "but she's too green - she doesn't understand how to make it work" he went on to walk superintendent through step-by-step how to arrange for the OOD placement DD needs. He spelled it all out - including how to word things so the district is protected. He pointed out that this is the very last attempt before we bring in the spec ed lawyer. "And you know [lawyer] - he'll come in and work his magic and you will end up agreeing. You know that. This is the last chance we have to save both the district and the parents unnecessary legal fees. Wouldn't you rather spend that money on the child?" Oh, and the district's attorney is the same consultant worked with in his prior district so he knew EXACTLY how to present this to her, too.

So it went well even though I assume principal will slide as she always has. However it is one more mark we have managed to get on her record. In principal superintendent agrees that DD's needs aren't going to be met in district. She understands that we have found an OOD placement we think will work but are open to considering others if they propose them. If it doesn't work amicably we will bring in the attorney. She knows this attorney and he has been very successful against our district. Basically she has our consultant, at our cost, working out a mediated settlement. Now we just wait and see what happens.

Doing a little happy dance for you!

Wow, I hope it plays out the way you hope - this would be a great resolution to it all.

Pemb, you are doing it just right. Kudos to you and Consultant. :-)

Hoping,
DeeDee

Wow-- what a terrific amount of progress!! So thrilled for your family, Pemberly.

Fingers crossed things keep going well now!

Pemberly, Wonderful! I am so happy to read this!

That's excellent news!