I read on another post that an exceptionally gifted child's intellectual age is roughly 1 1/2 times their chronological age. Do you think that same formula applies to gifted adults as well?

My sister and I both seemed to descend into mid-life crises in our 30s, and now, in my mid-40s, I'm drawn to and inspired by writing by empty-nesters and reflective retirees, even though my son won't be leaving home for years, and I'm looking at at least another 20 years of work (which is both comforting and horrifying). Anyone else experience this?

I'm not sure I would use the term "intellectual age" here, as that's supposed to be a proxy for IQ, and the things you're describing are more socially or behaviorally aligned with a particular life stage. What's a better term? Emotional age?

Regardless of which term is used, the answer in my case would be an unequivocal "No."

You and I are fairly close in age. I'm a fully-functioning and mature adult in all the ways that matter, but I'm more drawn to younger people, and give myself over to childish pranks, playful behavior, etc. Adult lives can become so prescribed and restrained, and they forget how to have fun -something that young children in particular understand on a primal level. As an adult, that playfulness can be expressed in even more delightful ways than any child could properly access or understand.

Growing up is a mistake, and one I hope I never commit.

Agree this makes more sense.


Great point. I am acutely aware of the need for more play in my life and am actively seeking it out in ways that are taking me way outside of my comfort zone, but this is a recent thing for me.

I think American mothers have an especially hard time carving out time for their own play. I recently read the wonderfully insightful book Overwhelmed: Work, Love and Play When No One Has the Time by Bridig Shulte, and it did a great job of describing the guilt that American women feel when they selfishly attend to their own social/emotional needs. I would venture that both the need and the guilt might be heightened in gifted women.

Interesting point about the mother guilt.

As any 4yo can tell you, play is usually a lot more rewarding for its own sake when it's done in a collaborative setting. In that context, mothers who engage in that sort of play with their children and partners can justify their own pleasure (an alien concept) with the assurance that they're being really great parents/partners in the moment.

I continue to prioritize play each day with my DD12. Apart from the direct benefits of play itself (of which there are many), it strengthens the bond and provides tons of unexpected teachable moments.