Sorry in advance for the rant, but we just got home from our public school kindy registration and I want to rip my hair out of my head. Honestly, I'm not sure it could have gone worse - for two reasons, the K teacher and my bull-headed child.

So we get there, and before they take him away for a screening, I literally say to DS, "make sure you answer the teacher's questions, and do the best you can." (because I know my son, and he can be a huge butt about answering things when he doesn't want to.) So they go off. They return a little while later and K teacher says that he is clearly very bright (because he knows his letters and 1-10) but wasn't able to retell the story she told him, and basically didn't read any of the words he put in front of him. (mind you, we gave them DS's PG eval, which K teacher didn't even look at). Plus he was really excited and didn't really sit still. I take DS aside and ask him what happened. He says "I just didn't want to answer her questions, I thought it would take too long; it was boring." I ask him to tell me the story, and he tells me the whole thing, something about buying new shoes because the old ones weren't good anymore, simple stuff. I call the teacher back and apologize...tell her that DS was being a pain and didn't want to answer but he knew everything and tell her about the story, to which she basically says, "well, I'm not going to argue with you about it!", with a major attitude. So I am standing there speechless. And furious. I mean, what kind of reaction is that? And of course, she is the only K teacher. One thing is for sure, I will in no uncertain terms put my child into her classroom. Her reaction was absurd - she had decided that she knew what was best for my child based on the 3 mins she had with him (which were clearly not his best 3 mins, unfortunately) , and we are crazy overbearing parents. No flexibility, no communication, no willingness to believe what we were saying. I wanted to scream. Also, of all the days to be ornery, of course DS would pick this one. SMH.

DH still wants to talk to the principal/guidance counselor about the possibility of 1st grade, but I'm not sure I even want to do that now. It will be way too easy academically, and the whole atmosphere of having to sit for a million hours a day is really not DS's style - he is an energetic, fidgety kid. I guess I'm just really disappointed because I hoped for a better outcome. Or at least, not a total train wreck. Sigh....back to the drawing board.

M

oh hugs for you

Oh do I feel your pain. I suppose in hindsight, it will be good to have had this sneak peek into attitudes that are often more carefully hidden. Perhaps the teacher had a lot of parents asking for extra things today? (I'm trying to be kind.)

Hang in there!!

Ditto. I was going to say that it's frustrating, but this may have been the best thing that could happen because now you know to not waste your time with her. It would be even more heartbreaking if you found this out after he had been there a week or two or seven. We have had a couple teachers who put on fake, cheery smiles, claiming that they would differentiate and do X, Y, and Z and then they ended up being jerks after we had trusted them, so this way it is better. Hang in there.

That's a blessing in disguise, I think. Do you really want to subject your child to a bitter educator who has no interest whatsoever in accurately assessing his needs or ability? They've effectively made your decision for you. Dust off your shoes and never look back.

What aquinas said.

Anyone who's been around little kids for more than an day or so knows that they do things (or not) for their own reasons, and that assessments are unreliable for precisely the reasons your son demonstrated (little kids often don't still, and they say stuff like I didn't want to). So the teacher should know better than to make a decision based on such a quick meeting with him. Ignoring a report that presumably took a professional quite a while to put together is also a bad sign.

TBH, even attempting to "screen" such a young child based on a brief interaction with a grownup who's a complete stranger is, IMO, kind of silly.

And what, exactly, are they screening for, anyway?

Thanks guys, already your reactions are making me feel better...I'm thinking maybe we dodged a bullet with this one.

Val, I believe the point is to assess for "kindergarten readiness"...whatever that means.

FYI, K screening is a tool for federally-mandated child-find, for children at risk of developmental delays or disabilities. The teacher successfully fulfilled the purpose of screening, by identifying that he had no significant developmental difficulties other than orneriness.

And on the other: I agree. Better to know up front than to find yourself months into a bad situation, after whatever damage may have been done to your son's enthusiasm for learning/school.

It sounds like the test given a our school after 10 days. To be fair the teacher was busy and didn't have time for a discussion. I suspect though she would consider co operating an important part of readiness. It seems silly to expect kids to do well with complete strangers. Good psychologists take time with the parent and child first.

T/F: Child is 5.

T/F: Child is alive.

Which helps administrators, as they rhyme.

This. So, so much. I know that it stings in the moment, but in the long haul, so much better than being led down that particular garden path.

Let's just say that I had a 4-6yo who was completely capable of hoodwinking even intelligent and perceptive adults who didn't know her, at least if she opted to go that route on any given day. I feel your pain.

I always held my breath a bit when it was time for her to "demonstrate" or "prove" anything to anyone-- for any reason. She reacts badly to being treated like a circus poodle.

At the Catholic school that allowed our son into KG at age 4, the teacher gave him a little test before giving us permission to enroll him. Early KG has been the right choice for him. So a "kindergarten readiness" test does not always produce unwelcome results. Early entrance to KG is a big decision. There should be some process (other than "No!" as in most public schools). Individual IQ tests can cost more than $1000.

My favorite ever "kindergarten readiness" story, told by a friend of mine:

She brought her son in for the K teacher to screen. Early in the test, she handed him a crayon and asked what color it was. He looked at her quizzically, then turned it sideways, looked at it, and told her, "turquoise!"

We actually did one of those IQ tests... but when we spoke to the district superintendent's office, they said that while an independent eval was nice to have, it didn't count for anything and they'd do their own assessments...

Oh, hugs, Marnie! I feel your pain! Part of the reason we never bothered to have DD tested before she was old enough for school testing was that um, well...there was no guarentee she'd "perform." By age 8, when she was "old enough" for G&T testing at school, she'd been through enough standardized testing that I knew she could handle being tested with a decent chance of giving it some actual, compliant effort...she'd matured (although she still has her moments).

I guess my point is...hang in there. Eventually, they will see it. Also, K screening, is, from what I've seen - a big nothing. Unless they have some amazing special programs (that probably require more than 3 minutes to determine admission), I wouldn't sweat it.

DS6 is an entirely different child...extremely compliant. We had him tested at age 6.

Homeschool? We are doing it here in PA and it has been fabulous.

Oh, I'm so sorry! Hugs to you.
On the bright side, you still have summer before he has to actually go.
And if it makes you feel any better,the story was probably dull in the extreme, so he wasn't JUST stubborn.

Gah, what a terrible feeling that must have been. I completely sympathize, both with the "my kid had a chance to prove it and blew it" (when they gave her the Iowa assessment at the start of 2nd) and with the "I paid big money for this test and you won't even bother to look at it?" (several different years in fact).

But I also agree with those saying that this really is a blessing in disguise.

I know what HK means about kids not wanting to be shown off. When DD was tiny I put her on the phone with my mom to demonstrate how well she was talking and she refused to speak out loud again for several months. Just as we were honestly getting worried, she started up again.

I will stay far far away from this school. Any school administrators worth his or her paycheck should move a teacher like that out of K. I'm not saying that older kids should be given a crappy (can I use that word on this forum?) teacher but at the very least, five year olds should be spared from someone who seems more concerned about being in control than helping children.

I am getting this feeling that all teachers want these days are "bright" children who are complainant. It's all about obedience, which is rather discouraging on so many levels.

I am always on DD's case about being respectful towards teachers but I'm getting fed up by schools that do not even try to make education a meaningful experience for just about everyone.

I feel for you but really, I'd move on.

That sounds like a nightmare, I'm so sorry. I hope you have good luck with 1st grade. Maybe THAT teacher is the best ever? I mean, you can hope...

If it makes you feel any better--but it probably won't--I took DS5 to IQ and achievement testing a couple weeks and it was also an unmitigated disaster. He wasn't having fun, doesn't enjoy being quizzed on what he knows, and didn't see what the point of the activity was, so he totally blew off most of it. He still pulled out achievement scores that show he's basically passed Kindergarten without ever having attended, but that won't be good enough for them. He has to have nearly achieved 1st grade proficiency before they'll let him into 1st grade early. Ugh, the bureaucracy... it burns.

Urgh!

Sounds like the younger one of my two nephews. They are both very bright but the younger one has a pronounced defiant streak. They live in Brooklyn and he steadfastly refused to cooperate during the NYC pre-school testing so is not in any GT programming at all.

The other is a people pleaser so guess which one is in the NYC gifted program?

Personally, I believe that the younger one is the brighter (non verbally, at least and he has an innate mechanical aptitude) based on my observations of him (completely unqualified professionally, of course) but that's life.