A little background. DD5 is more then likely PG. Recently we had a meeting with a well respected gifted psychologist and she recommended putting DD in kindergarten this year with absolutely ZERO expectation she will learning anything academic. The psychologist feels it will give DD exposure to other kids she doesn't currently have. I suppose this option would come with after-schooling which I am not opposed to at all. Currently DD is at about a beginning 3rd grade level math and a mid to late 3rd grade level reading. While DD is in kindergarten the psychologist recommended we research schools we feel may work for first grade.

Previously DD has been in a mixed age preschool and it came with mixed results. After we pulled her from that school it took months to work through anxiety behaviors.

Unfortunately, I currently don't see how enrolling DD in kindergarten is the best choice and I think I must be missing some perspective. I feel if a well respected gifted psychologist recommends an educational path and I am not sure, I must be missing something. My fear is the anxiety behaviors will come back and who knows what else and I really don't want to go down the anxiety road again. I know we can pull DD out of kindergarten, but I am on fence if the risk of anxiety behavior is worth the social benefit. I think the psychiatrist must have some perspective I just don't have right now - forest through the trees sort of thing. I ddin't discuss all the past anxiety with the psychologist, just mentioned it in passing and she seemed unphased. Also, just as a side note, I'd really prefer not to homeschool but I understand it may really be the most logical choice (path of least resistance I suppose). We are moving in a couple of months and school districts was not previously on my list of considerations. So I need to make a decision if we are going to try kindergarten or continue to homeschool. If we do homeschool there is a nice co-op where DD can take a few classes once a week. We cannot enroll in classes until the fall with the co-op.

As always, the ideas on this board are of such tremendous help, and any perspective you all have either way is greatly appreciated!

At this age I personally think that social interaction is hugely important. That said, would your school consider a grade skip? Our district is very willing (but from the sound of it not every district is).

I think that social interaction is really important at any age, but there are a lot of different ways to get that. School works for a lot of kids because there are so many different kids to interact with and a lot of different choices for activities. That being said, not all kids find school to be a good situation, especially if they feel they don't fit into the group or don't enjoy the activities. I can definitely see why you would be hesitant to put her back into a situation similar to that which cause her so much anxiety. That being said, kindergarten may end up being a different situation than preschool depending on the teacher and the kids and their understanding of your DD. And, you now know what to look for as far as anxiety goes so that you can be aware earlier if things need to change.

Most of all, take into account what the psychologist says, but keep in mind that you are just as much an expert as she is and your thoughts are just as valid.

Yes. And that's spoken as both a parent and a school psychologist.

My DS8 is PG. This year I homeschool him in the morning, he has lunch at home, and then goes to public school for "specials" eg gym, media, art, music in the afternoon. He also has a little bit of math and writing while at school. It has worked out really well for us and we will be continuing this next year. He gets the best of both worlds - learning at his own pace (at home) and socializing / learning to follow a scheduled day (at school).

Being "well respected" doesn't stop one from being completely wrong.

A psychologist can be an expert in gifted issues broadly speaking, but you are a specialist in your child's needs. I would seek clarification from the psych and, if after further discussion I had any reservations, I would respect my intuition. In a purely Bayesian sense, the psych's priors are population derived, whereas yours are updated for the individual-specific data.

I am reasonably sure that in order for a grade skip to take place the child must be in Kindergarten and then be "evaluated" by the teacher. I have all the necessary achievement testing and IQ testing to appropriately advocate for a skip, but I am not sure being in Kindy with zero expectation of academic learning is much different from first with the same expectation. I really feel success / failure will be so dependent on the children in the classroom and the teacher.

I had thought if I decided to put DD in Kindy I would not say anything about academics initially and let the teacher discover in his/her own time, or let DD drive in what she is willing to do and what she is not.

When did you start this with your DS? Since I have never had a child in school, what grade is it reasonable to start the split day? I really like this idea and have no idea if my district will support this type of special arrangement but I suppose I could ask if I could ever get a call back from anyone who knows anything

DD was so excited to play with the other children, but didn't care to play the same games over and over (with out modifying the rules) and this lack of interest coupled with insufficient academic stimulation was ultimately the source of the anxiety. So if the academics won't be there, it seems it is really up to the mix of children and teacher. Ugh!

When DS was in Kindergarten our district still offered it every other day (they have since switched to only all day, every day). We took that option and homeschooled on the days off. He didn't learn much academically that year at school but he learned how to be responsible in a classroom, how to follow a schedule, and he made a few friends.

The next year he grade skipped to 2nd at a private school due to us moving temporarily. He went full days but we still tried to enrich at home.

This year (3rd grade) we moved back to the previous district and started half day homeschooling. The principal at his school is very accommodating, which is great. Our district is open to homeschoolers coming in for the subjects or specials of their choosing. Apparently the district gets funding for the percentage of time that each child is there, whether that is 100%, 10% or somewhere in the middle. We could have chosen to put DS in a class that had specials in the morning and then homeschooled in the afternoon but I feel like DS learns best in the morning.

I hope you can work something out with your district. Let me know if you have any other questions. Good Luck!

Homeschool access to specials, sports, music ensembles, afterschool clubs, and even individual academics is available in quite a few districts, but often at the principal's discretion. Our district has been fairly accommodating, to our knowledge (my children haven't made use of it, as of yet, but I know others who have).

Oh, and I think I've mentioned elsewhere that our #2 was homeschooled for K year (we counted it as 1st), then partially homeschooled for the next two years, attending a small private school 1-3 days, mainly for specials and science lab day. It worked well for us.

if the intellectual/emotional/social fit for your child with the other kids will not work, the entire point of K being a social year is an invalid point.

If he cannot play the games the way all the others want to
If he cannot understand why they all learn so slowly (to him) and take so long to get something done
If they don't understand perfectionism (if he has this)
If they look at him strangely because he can read/write/do maths...

He will then either a) withdraw or b) act out or c) try squash himself to fit in with their perception of normal. Neither is cool for him, the teacher, the other kids or for you.

I hope you find something that works well - I quite like the idea of learning stuff at home and then school only for socials - ie, where learning cannot get in the way (largely) of having fun with other K kids.

So another option could possibly be a montessori school (not sure if this is financially or geographically an option for you).

Kids have mixed results in Montessori and we have had both experiences (two different schools). First school I thought was amazing but it just didn't offer enough to her for her to be happy & she cried about going. We moved 1/2 way through the year and put her in a Montessori in our new state. This one has been running for over 50 years and goes through 8th. She is definitely being challenged in her own way and they are putting her a year ahead next year (still mixed age class but they have different base expectations for each year). She is SO eager to go to school every day & loves it. She has social interaction with kids 2 years older every day.

Just wanted to throw this out there incase this may be an option for you!

DD's first school was a Montessori and we had mixed results. However, we have moved and, given all Montessori's are different, I did think about Montessori for next year. I love the idea of the Montessori method and I love the idea of educating the whole child. However, what we experienced was educating the child based on the Montessori method of a sequential learning path and DD is not completely sequential - in some areas she goes from A to C to F if YKWIM.

The bigger issue for us is the contract. We opted to pull DD from school based on her anxiety behaviors and the school opted to hold us to our contract. They believed the anxiety didn't have anything to do with lack of challenge at school and they could educate DD at her level easily based on her previous compliance to re-learn material she already knew. Thankfully we found out we were moving the next week and the school reluctantly released us from our financial obligation. This experience made me a bit trigger shy with private schools. I don't think I am willing to take the risk of say having a great initial fit for DD and then having the experience go south and then having to fight for the monies I am then obligated to pay to the school - and this could be A LOT for us. I so wish I could find an excellent Montessori which understood the needs of the PG community that could understand if the fit wasn't right and just release me from my financial obligation. Montessori's have a business to run, so I understand why my wish is not truly feasible

Could you tour the school? Our first montessori was painfully linear and this one is so willing to not be. Last one literally they MADE her do phonics and every letter even though she had known phonics for years & years. New school they skipped that whole chunk and let her go on to the leveled books. That was what we found was the most refreshing. As they realize she grasps a concept they give her new more challenging work. It may at least be worth a tour. Also, we signed up for the tuition insurance. Not sure if your school offers this?

One of our previous schools had a six-week trial period, during which either party (school or family) could pull out of the contract without being on the hook for more than the registration fee, prorated tuition, and curriculum fee (since, of course, they wouldn't really be able to use partially-written-in consumables for any other student).

Even if the schools you are thinking of don't have such a policy, you might be able to persuade them to write one into your contract.