DS6 made the move to 2nd grade 1 month ago. He is coasting by- especially in math. I KNOW he needs the writing instruction and language arts of 2nd grade. Socially, he is doing ok but he is very introverted and I'm not sure he is fitting in 100%. On the WISC-IV, his GAI was 143 with his PR score significantly higher than VC. He "gets" math concepts right away and can't seem to bear the practice and repetition that goes on in 2nd grade.

I feel like attending public school builds social skills and provides highly skilled teachers- I would love see him "find his place." I hate to doubt his intellectual capabilities- but I find it so difficult to understand why he can't relax and be patient with learning alongside his peers. It took effort to move him up the grade and I was hoping that would help his feelings about school.

For those that have struggled with school issues- any recommendations on which way to turn? Do we seek more challenge for him academically? (like going to another grade for math?) Or do we seek some counseling to help him deal with his feelings and intensity? I don't know many other parents of gifted kids (I've never brought up testing data with other parents because that would feel awkward) but I'm beginning to feel like were are hitting another education wall. I'm sorry to say it.... but I don't understand my own child and have limited experience.

My kids hate math repetition as well. It turns their favourite subject into dreary drudgery. Can your son be given 3rd grade math material? I'd definitely ask for this.

Also, imho, counseling never hurts. We've done private as well as in-school counselors. The intensity is just something you learn to live with, and it does ease up a little as they get older and more discerning as to what they respond to.

Hi, Hils,
Our DD started asking for 'more math' when she was a couple of years older than your DS, and she was lucky enough then to have a wonderful Montessori teacher who was happy to give her and a couple of other kids 'advanced' lessons that year. The next year, different teacher, nothing doing, so we still haven't found a perfect place for her, but have opted for extracurricular math enrichment. It's discussed here often, and there are some free sites, which is great. Our DD does IMACS, which we are lucky enough to have 'live' here, and she's been going to the math part for three years now and loves it. Also we've been doing EPGY on days when she has time. I'm not sure how any of it will end up fitting back into school placement, but I think it was the right thing to do for her. Hopefully she will be able to place or test out and/or do independent study if she gets back into a school that has traditional grade levels (we're still at Montessori for now, and lucky enough to be back with another great teacher, but even with a pretty small class and a philosophy of individual instruction, we couldn't realistically expect the teacher to really create a math program just for our DD especially with all the other positive stuff she's doing for DD). Good luck to you and your DS.

The only thing to mention is that it is very important eventually for kids to get their math facts down cold. It is extremely boring but there is no way around it. It will hinder them in higher level math.
With my second grader, he got the addition and subtraction math facts down mainly by flashcards and a few Kumon workbooks. We are working on multiplication facts, incredibly, since some kids in his regular second grade class are doing that.
He doesn't like it but we are chipping away at it.

are there any gifted options? My son is now in a gifted school and the repetition does not seem to be as extensive. They seem to move faster which keeps it from being drudgery. Skipping a grade gets to more appropriate level but not necessarily speed.

DeHe

What are your options? Can you move? Are there schools or towns near you or far away that you could get to?

We gave up the struggle and are at a school with flexible ability based grouping now, and it is worth every bit of the hardship to make it work. For our children the solution covers multiple grades and includes loving teachers to help with social/anxiety issues.

The answer to the question posed in the thread title is...



perhaps not. HG+ children are rare, statistically, and this means that unless you are fortunate enough to live in a densely populated area, your child is going to spend most of his/her childhood as something of a singularity.

This does NOT mean that it is okay to tell such a child to be something that s/he cannot be in order to make the adults and peers in his/her life more comfortable.

What can you do to make it better, instead of "right"?

This is what my DD's school was supposed to be like but once the administration was hired they turned into just grouping within classrooms for reading, and within a grade for math.

How do they do the grouping across grades and keep it flexible?

I agree with Howler that it's unlikely you'll find "the right" school - not only are HG+ kids statistically rare, they are also quite often very unique so even if you had a "bunch" of HG+ kids together in a cluster, it would be tough to put together a school program that met the needs of each child. It's also important to remember that not all schools are "equal" or the same, even within the same school district. For example, in our school district the neighborhood elementary schools are widely varying in quality of education as well as strengths and weaknesses and occasionally special programs. Although it's not something that's advertised, you can apply for a neighborhood exemption to attend an out-of-neighborhood school *if* the attendance at the school you want to go to isn't at 100% for the grade your child is in. If your district has charter schools that's another potential that's worth checking into, as well as private schools. I wouldn't let worries about tuition scare myself out of private school until you've talked with the school about aid and scholarships.

So for us, we've found that what worked best was digging in and researching all the school options we could find, then picking the schools that seemed to fit best for our kids. It's not a "perfect" fit, but it's a better fit than if we'd just defaulted to our neighborhood school and not stayed actively involved in advocating during elementary school. We also informally after-school (following our kids' lead) as a way of keeping them engaged with their passions.

polarbear

My ds' school does this (across multiple grade levels) in some subjects by scheduling a subject at the same time every day across all grades. In grammar they differentiate by having the kids work independently at their pace in leveled series textbooks. In subjects that are tackled together as a grade-level class students are encouraged (actively) to dig deeper and explore based on their abilities.

polarbear

I am not sure how different the PRI an VC were, but this is another area that might make finding a "right" school difficult - kids who have significant scatter in abilities may need to be grade levels ahead in some areas but need at-grade-level or lower work in their areas of challenge. Rather than finding the "right school" I think that many times, for kids with mixed-level abilities, finding a good *teacher* fit is equally as effective, if not even more important.



FWIW, this might be a math mis-match that disappears next year - it could be he's stuck with a rote-repetition-non-inspiring teacher for math this year, or it could mean he's just not inspired by the math as presented at school this year. Although it's not an ideal solution, it might be helpful to look to next year and know that the teacher will change, and the subject matter will change and this year won't be forever. AGAIN... not the ideal solution.

polarbear

ps - I'm also not much into the concept of drilling math facts into young kids' heads, no matter how high their IQ or how mathy they may be. With all three of my kids I've seen that rapid-fire level of math fact knowledge is going to come when the student is ready developmentally - and that can be a huge difference in ages... for some kids (even very high IQ kids) it might not happen until 9-10 years old. For others it can happen *very* young. But... if you try to drill facts incessantly with a child who isn't ready developmentally it's just going to be frustrating. It's also not necessarily going to hold them back from discovering higher level math either - they might work a bit more slowly or they might use a calculator, but not being able to spit out rapid-fire math facts doesn't mean a child isn't ready for higher level math, especially not for young highly gifted math-oriented kids

One thing which really helped us was when we stopped viewing placement decisions as "right/wrong" and began looking at things through the lenses of "best we can do" and "least-harmful/greatest benefit" and realizing that all of it is fairly ephemeral because this is a child that we are talking about, so those needs are changing continuously and at variable rate.

I also agree with polarbear about digging more deeply to find out just what the limits are in terms of your options, though. At one end of that spectrum is one-stop-shopping at your default local public school. That works for mythical "average/normative" children. At the other end of the spectrum is radical homeschooling, where the curriculum is completely built AROUND the child's needs and interests each day.

Different parents will view the continuum with differing values, of course, which means that any two families are likely to evaluate those things differently even if they did somehow have the same exact child, which of course isn't the case anyway.

I mention that because your positive statements about public schooling's benefits may not be echoed by families that lean toward radical unschooling, but they are certainly valid to you, just the same.

(We agree with many of those positions ourselves, by the way, which is why we've kept our child within a system that we wrestle mightily with in light of the fact that it is a very poor fit for our child in many ways.)

Explore the different options for accommodation of HG students-- know what each strategy offers and what the down sides are. Know what the limitations are for you personally and for the school locally. (Telescoping, compacting, etc. I mean)

It is disheartening to discover that a grade skip that was supposed to "solve everything" hasn't. For HG+ children, though, it's also not an unusual thing. It's frustrating to realize that you're still having to advocate for more, and in the face of administration that looks at things as "Yes, but we've already got a checkmark next to 'special arrangements' for the year... So remind me, why are you here again?" They want a gold star for having done "so much" for your child, and they very definitely aren't always happy when they find out that it wasn't even close to meeting what your child actually NEEDS.

Be patient, but stand your ground if you KNOW that this gradeskip alone isn't enough. It sounds as though you do know it.

I like Carolyn K's article: Least-worst educational fit

We have been pretty lucky to find a good-fit school for our kiddo, but we live near a major metro area with several public self-contained GT options. Each of the schools have a bit of a different philosophy, so not all of the schools will fit all GT kids. And we have no clue what we'll do for our kiddo after his current program ends after 5th grade. But for now, we travel 45 miles to a pretty awesome school.

I can relate to the OP's post. Our kiddo also did not get quite enough after a grade skip, especially in math. Before we switched schools, we advocated quite a bit and did finally get the option for DS to pretest out of math units and learn new material with the GT coordinator when he tested out. Does your school have a math resource or GT coordinator? Maybe they could offer some help. Good luck!

It's a selective school, plus they have vertically grouped classes, plus the whole school does the same subject at the same time, plus they have very small classes, plus the curriculum is adaptive, plus they're really open to shifting kids around if it turns out they're too challenged or not challenged enough. But I think the biggest factors are being selective and vertical grouping. So many problems are solved just with those two factors.

We are just starting on this road, but I am also a teacher, so I have some idea how things have gone on that side of the coin as well.

My second grade son will be transitioning into 3rd grade reading and math classes, while remaining in his second grade for the rest . . . mostly the social and specialist aspects. He is academically above even a third grade level in both math and reading (and others), however it is a good place to start the process, in my opinion. The plan is, assuming he continues at this pace and is ready for and okay with it, to move him into fourth grade at the start of next year, potentially going fifth grade math and reading after winter break again, and finally moving into sixth grade in what would normally be his fourth grade year. This is middle school for us and the options are much more available in terms of acceleration and opportunities. (all that said, we don't know what path he'll take until we get there . . . time will tell.)

I mention this because it might be worth bringing up at your school? Is it possible to accelerate some classes over and above what has already been done?

We have an administrator in our district who is new this year, but who has had ample experience with acceleration in her children's home district. We were fortunate enough to have her attend a meeting with our principal, our son's teacher, my husband, and myself simply as support all around. The thing that she said that stands out to me (and really makes sense from a teacher-view as well) is that it isn't the content, but the pace, that sets these kiddos apart. We can accelerate them in school, but generally, at least at the elementary level and in most classrooms, that is only a temporary solution.

That is a very wise administrator. What a keeper!