My DD 16 has the good fortune to choose between MIT, Stanford and Princeton. It will be ultimately her own decision after she visits all 3 campuses in April. We are telling her that all three are fabulous schools; she can do no wrong with any of them. Nevertheless, it is going to be a big decision for her which will probably change her life, career path, social cycle, etc.

This question may be more suitable for College Confidential but this group of people often provides unique insights. Let me know what your think.

Here are some backgrounds: We live in California. DD plans to major something in Math, Computer Science, Economic, (I am hearing Chemistry lately too). I am not really sure whether she has a career path in mind yet. However, she does plan to go on to grad school.

Congrats to your dd! What an amazing group of colleges from which to choose! I have some familiarity with two of them, MIT and Stanford, both amazing places to study but in different ways. If we knew more about your dd it might be easier to advise. How certain is she that she will major in math or a science? I think that is an important question. Also, I see you live in Northern California. Does your dd appreciate good weather, and how does she feel about the bad weather she will encounter on the east coast? Is she looking to get away? How close are you to Stanford? I personally think it is great for kids to have the chance to get away (some distance) to college. Do you live far enough away from Stanford that she will have the sense of starting a new life for herself there (assuming that is important to her)?

I think it would be great if your dd could visit or at least talk to some women at these schools under consideration to see how they are doing at making their schools welcoming to women. Without pointing any fingers, one top school (which may or may not be on your list) had some extremely sexist math professors, and I heard some time back from a woman who was tenured at another top school that she had heard horror stories from some female grad students about incidents at this other school. It is probably easier to be an undergrad (in any case) but I think it is still worth talking to students at each school (probably especially other women) to see how comfortable and happy they are. One of the reasons I would not want to name the school (with the sexist professors) is that these things change, and some schools make a great effort to improve, and I have no idea how the environments have developed over the past several years. I do think it is worth talking to current students though about these kinds of issues.

Wherever your dd decides to go, she will undoubtedly have great experiences and meet other amazing students (as I am sure she is too), and again, big congratulations!

Some (mostly) non-academic things that were important to me when I was trying to decide on a school:

1) Do the schools have major sports teams, and do they compete on campus? I asked this not because I was an athlete but rather that I like the campus comraderie that often develops on campuses with football/basketball teams on game days.

2) Do tuition and scholarships vary from school to school?

3) Are there professors who are currently studying specific topics of interest and could serve as mentors (and for whom you could serve as an assistant)?

4) What is student housing like, whether you plan to live on or off campus?

5) How far away are you comfortable being? Like HannahZ, I think it can be good to be away from home for college, but how far are you comfortable with being? 6 hours away may mean you can come home once every month or so. Across the country may mean you only come home at Christmas.

6) How decided are you on your field of study? If you're not sure, it might be a good idea to go to a school with a wide range of majors and extensive academic advising available.

7) Would you have friends also attending the school? Some kids like to have someone they know at the same school so that they don't feel so alone, while other kids thrive on the chance for a fresh start where they don't know anyone.

Wish your DD good luck in making her decision. Those are great options to have!

In the areas/fields of interest, are there women professors at all in the desired school? Just a thought.

Congratz and good luck. What great options to have.

Currently we are living about 1.5 hour away from Stanford which is okay distance for the kids. But we probably have to move to the center of Silicon Valley for job situation since both DD are gone for college. Then it will be 0.5 hour away from Stanford which is probably not cool.

Stanford was her dream school until a couple of years ago when she attended a math camp. Then she fell in love of Boston and warmed up to the idea of MIT. We are comfortable about her going east coast school. Her older sister is attending college in Boston already.

When she was admitted early action at MIT, we thought that was it. But as she got to know more about MIT, she got a bit concerned about the overly competitive atmosphere there. One of close friend attending MIT was not very happy and was in the process of transferring out. It is good that DD has Stanford and Princeton as options.

DD will attend college at 16. It is a bit young to make big life decisions. Not even close to decide of what she wants to do with her life. But DD claimed that she does not want to be a lawyer, a doctor or an engineer. I don�t think that she has the temperament or patience to become a professor. I was joking one day that pretty much leaves only two careers for her. 1) investment banker if there is such thing still. 2) math teacher (she would make a perfect calculus teacher in HS).

Congrats Chenchuan,
That's a lot of empty nest all at once - I wish you a smooth transition.
As for which school, since she has an older sister in Boston, she has a pretty good idea of the distance thing. As you say, she can't go wrong. Princeton certainly has better weather than MIT. My guess is that she will get a vibe from being on campus and that will be that.
Best Wishes,
Grinity

Congratulations! Those are some wonderful choices!!!

For those majors, I'd definitely pick either MIT or Princeton. Stanford is good too but MIT and Princeton are another level up. I've only been fortunate enough to visit Princeton's campus (DH was giving a talk there). It's amazing!!! I really love the city and the campus too for that matter.

What would probably help her the most is go to the websites of each university and see what the professors specialize in (and if there are any areas that she is particularly interested in). Maybe she could even try and talk to those professors or at least a postdoc/grad student of theirs to get a feel of what it's like. Sometimes the students can be honest (REALLY honest, when I was look at grad schools one student flat out told me not to go to the university I was looking at because it wasn't at a high enough research level for me).

If she does plan on going to grad school that degree is the one that's ultimately going to get her a job. However, a good undergraduate degree can really help to get into a good grad school! Good luck!!!

Yes, that can be a concern. Um, from my experience (and talking to others), I don't *think* undergraduate is a big issue. It's more of an issue for gradstudents/postdocs. Especially, those (like me) who want to start a family (or already did) but I'll keep these thoughts to myself since this is a hot button issue for me. Also, since she's so young, i doubt that will be an issue for her.


In that case, has she thought about physics? At least for investment banking that's a popular major (or a double major in math and physics). If she wants to go the HS teacher route she might want to think about Teach for America to help pay off some of her students loans.

Considering her age, I'd also be a bit wary of MIT. I've also heard many stories about the competition there (one big reason I never applied there myself). I'm not sure about Princeton and Standford, though. I could say a lot more about grad school...

"Yes, that can be a concern. Um, from my experience (and talking to others), I don't *think* undergraduate is a big issue. It's more of an issue for gradstudents/postdocs. Especially, those (like me) who want to start a family (or already did) but I'll keep these thoughts to myself since this is a hot button issue for me. Also, since she's so young, i doubt that will be an issue for her."
I think the issues are different grad vs. undergrad, but there can still be trouble if the university is not supportive enough. As an undergrad math student at UC Berkeley, for a time I had to wear a wedding band (fake) to defend myself from aggressive, inappropriate attention from math grad students there. Some of them pretended not to understand English well enough when the message was "no" and some of them in truth could (should) have been accused of misconduct and faced consequences, but I was too timid to report (and so I took refuge and hid behind a pretense of being married). I think in grad schools the problems are different again. But I recall ten or 15 years ago MIT had a terrific program supporting women students. And also would like to comment Princeton has a truly fabulous math department (ranked number one, if I am not mistaken). All three schools are amazing. Congrats again to the lucky dd who has this wonderful opportunity to select from these three outstanding schools.

I started out in another major and moved into Math. I observed that most other students had issues with Math and that most of my issues were about being mathematically immature. I at first thought I was not up to the other "whiz" kids in the classes, but by the end of the first semester, I was doing problems the other students could not.

When I later had time to take other electives in Physics, Engineering, and Chemistry, I just towered above the other students.

Being able to think through a problem with a long list of constraints to keep in mind is a very powerful tool - both in a technical and an organizational sense.

For this reason, if a student wants to work in a technical field, then I would recommend majoring in math, then taking a minor or dual in another applied field, ie Computer Science, EE, etc.

As for programs, I would look for those that have classes that meet every day or which have very strong Socratic labs. What I mean by that is that everyone has to go to the board to post their problems and then talk through them orally.

Thus, you will graduate with both a strong logical thinking ability, but also a good grounding in oral communication of difficult issues in a competitive situation.

Princeton would be my first choice as well for Math.

Wow! That is a lot to think about.

DD is going to attend admitted weekends for all three universities, back to back. Hopefully she will fall in love with one of schools during the process then decision will be easy. As parents, we do have preferences. But if we tell her to go to A, she will probably go to B. So we keep our mouths shut.

Sending DD16 to college so young is a bit of concern. Although DD only skipped one grade, she is two years younger than most her classmates. Fake wedding band probably wouldn�t be able fend off unwanted attention. MIT interviewer (a female engineer) told her that she always dress down, cover up at MIT for that reason. The problem should be less severe at Princeton and Stanford where there are more girls.

Both my girls have a lot of trouble deciding a major. The older one, DD17, (at Harvard right now) changed her mind about her major from Chem to Literature and History to Math, giving us heart attacks every other month. I expect the younger one to go through same process. I am fine with them taking the time to find out what to do with their life, just hope they can graduate in 4 years.