At a time when we could be planning college visits, we are instead hoping Ds16 passes all of his first-semester junior year classes. They are all either AP or honors, and within the classroom he is doing well, but he does not turn in any homework (except APCompSci, where he is acing the class).

His school social worker has called a Problem-Solving meeting. Besides DS and me, attendees will be his social worker, academic counselor, dean, school psychologist, and intervention specialist from special ed at school.

DS does not have a diagnosis, does exhibit anxiety, and has recently started seeing a psyohologist outside of school.

Has anyone been in such a meeting? What should I applaud? What should I be wary of?

While I've not participated in meetings on this exact nature or of this age child, I've done lots of such meetings.

Applaud:
*Brainstorming
*Discussion of what is working.
*Questions and comments seeking to understand the causes of the problems.
*Suggestions for solutions for *this* child.

Be Wary:
*"Kids like this" or other statements generalizing him into a box.
*Assignment of blame. This is a two-way (three way?) street: be wary of any assignment of blame on the child, the parents, or the school staff. That goes for you and your son, too.
*Statements of impossibility: "We can't do that; that's not how we do things; we don't have the time/space/staff/money..."

Before I go into such meetings, I
*collect notes and work that highlight my concerns with the issue.
*brainstorm on what I feel may be causes of the problem, what I feel works
*set an appointment with an understanding friend to go for a long run afterwards to blow off steam.

I've participated in or run many such meetings. When done well, the objective actually is to create solutions to the problem.

I agree with much of what geofizz wrote, though I would also be careful about reacting to "kids like this", as some aspects of the experience of a school-based team may actually be applicable to your child, even though the likelihood that they have had a student exactly like him in the past is quite small. Instead, I would redirect such phrasing into specific questions about supporting the named needs, like, "in your experience, what has been effective for supporting children with [anxiety, poor work completion, etc.] in the past?" "When children are able to demonstrate mastery of the content standards in on-demand testing, what are the options available to the teachers for adjusting course grades to reflect content knowledge, rather than organization and work skills?"

Perhaps you can tell that my inclination would be to work on two prongs:

1. identifying the obstacles to work completion, and supporting the emotional or other needs related to them.

2. reducing the impact on his access to mid- and long-term goals (i.e., grades), through accommodations to the grading process that slant toward standards-based grading, rather than process and compliance grading. IOW, grade based on his classroom performance, test, and project scores, not the absence of his homework. (Where I work, school policy is that homework cannot be the reason for a student failing a class. Although all students are expected to complete it, from a grading standpoint, homework can be used to raise grades, but not to lower them.)

Here, homework isn't graded, but in order to be able to do test re-takes to improve a score, you have to have completed all homework before the first test.

You've already received great advice above, all of which I second. Like goofs, I haven't been to a school meeting for this specific reason, but I've been to quite a few school meetings for other issues

The things I'd add - the school has invited the staff they feel they can rely on for input and insight. You are also able to invite other people if you think they have something to add to help the team work come up with solutions or understand your ds better. If you think his private psych has any insight or could help with problem-solving, you could invite the psych (you'd have to pay to invite the psych, so another less expensive option is to simply talk to the psych in advance of the meeting, and ask for his/her input).

I would also talk to your ds and see what he feels the issue is, as well as ask him what solutions he'd suggest.

I find it's really helpful to first prepare prepare prepare as much as you can - anticipate questions from the school and figure out how you'll answer them as much as you can. Then go in and *listen*. Prepare for issues up front, but don't go in expecting them. Hope that makes sense!

Best wishes,

polarbear

Thanks, all, for the advice and encouragement.

Re: homework, we see a few different policies on homework (And yes, sometimes it's grading-on-compliance) but perhaps I should say "assignments" instead of "homework", for the problems apply to all kinds of work, including drafts, lab reports, projects, and presentations, that are done, begun, or completed in or out of the classroom.

Reading your advice and thoughts, I know I'm doing most of them so hopefully on the right track as far as preparing for the meeting.

I hadn't thought of asking the psychologist to come, but anyway they have only gotten together a couple of times. I did ask him for anything he thinks might be pertinent, but with the long holiday weekend here I won't hear from him until a day or two before the meeting.

I know that all the attendees want to help, but a couple of them do not know DS at all, and another approaches issues from a disciplinary point of view, which does keep DS going to class. I think his approach can help, if combined with support to deal with the anxiousness. My experience with that person is that support is not his forte.

I am trying to consider everything deeply, so that I can be prepared and responsive. What keeps me up nights is the "unknowns", things that might come up that I couldn't possibly have imagined.

I have been in such a meeting when DS was a freshman. (Sorry I haven't been checking this board frequently as I have become personally very busy this fall.) This ended with my getting DS evaluated his that summer and a 504 the next fall.

As a junior it's getting a bit on the late side for
implementing a 504 and if you can get the H.S. to just work with you. Testing might still be useful.

What happened at the first meeting late freshman year was intimidating. All DS teachers plus counselor, psychologist and vice-principal in the room. At that time they wanted DS to sign a contract that included going into see a resource specialist weekly I really resisted because I didn't think it was what he needed. Although we did go with a contract for the science teacher the following year. That was partly THAT science teacher. What school wanted to do was a plan they did with most kids. I can probably unburry the the packet of info that they send home and give you and idea what was in it. I'm assuming your son will be at the meeting. Have a talk with him before you go in. My school had programs that offered my son that he rejected.

It's all going to depend on how your school handles this. If it was my school I wouldn't be surprised if they suggest dropping and/or replacing some of the AP classes. You probably don't want this although it may be something to consider. Talk with him about it before you go. It's why we only have DS16 also a junior in two AP classes this year and a 'light' load for junior year. And I'll commiserate his grades are NOT where they should be but I'm hoping that now that marching band is over things will pick up again.

Does he know what's going on? Is it just the stress of everything? Too much homework and not enough "off" time? Disorganization. Is this perhaps a direct results of the teachers he has gotten?

Good Luck.

P.S. I read this after I posted and it was really poorly written.

It wasn't too hard to find the "Contract" the H.S. wanted DS to sing freshman year. It was the end of the year and DS never did sign it. It was also being pushed by a vice-principal who left at the end of that year. He needed to try and follow this for 6-8 weeks before they would consider testing him for a 504. But I circumvented that by getting him tested that summer.

It had the following things listed on the main page. Some of them are rephrased. Not all were checked off for him. I've stared what they checked off for him.

*Homework log. (Signed by teachers)
Mandatory "study hall" program.
*Assigned "study hall" hours. (explain below)
Weekly Progress Reports
After School Peer Tutoring
After School Homework Lab
* Other

The "study hall" in a period all students have at our school twice a week where they can go to any teacher they need help from, or the library, media center. They have a lot of freedom but are supposed to be "studying". They wanted to ASSIGN him to go to one of his teachers once a week. They also wanted him to go to the Career & College Center and do a career inventory. They also pushed hard for him to take the after school homework lab but had limited space in it and they wouldn't take any kid into that program who wasn't 100% on board with it.

This is just the first page of a 15 page packet that includes a calendar, homework logs, study tips. It seems to be a fairly standard set of information they send home to any struggling student. I have no idea if you school does something similar.

BTW, it is not too late for a 504 or IEP to be useful, if any further education is potentially in the offing. If the team develops a slate of accommodations that are actually helpful, these can become the foundation of accommodations in post-secondary education (though not all unis will agree to all accommodations). Each year, I write a handful of upperclassmen onto IEPs or 504s mainly for that reason.

At this point early Dec of junior year it could take till second semester is almost half over to get a 504. Almost always takes longer than you think it will. Therefore I would focus on getting the school to make reasonable accommodations now with out it because as a junior in H.S. there isn't a lot of wiggle room. You can also pursue testing and I do recommend it as it can be helpful for college.

My experience with my DD (had an IEP for LD's) is it's not the IEP/504 that the university cares about but the testing. What I found was that this testing/504's/IEP's aren't important in the college admissions process. The only place in most college apps is the a short answer response to a question about "extenuating circumstances" that the student can often optionally write. But once student has been accepted and many school will talk with your child about the testing results in their disabled students but insist on make their own evaluations of what services are needed.

Chances are something unanticipated will pop up, no matter how well you prepare and plan. Just keep planning and prepping as best you can! Even when something completely unantiicpated pops up, I find that having planned for as much as possible beforehand helped me be more self-confident in my replies to the unexpected. Another thing that helped - having an agenda of *my own* - and then trying to steer the discussion as much as possible toward that agenda. It doesn't have to be huge, just a very simple list of what you hope to communicate and accomplish. Then when something completely unanticipated does come up, you can say "yes, that's interesting (or whatever), but for now can we finish discussing abc". Hope that makes sense!

Another piece of advice - these meetings (from the teacher and staff perspective) tend to be focused on the short term what-do-we-do-right-now to solve an issue that's happening in class - which makes sense - they are looking at things from the school management point of view. You, otoh, need to look at the big picture and long-term goals: what is the challenge that is preventing your ds from functioning as he is expected to in this environment, does it impact him in other ways, and is it something that can/needs to be remediated, is it a challenge that he needs to have accommodations for etc. If he needs accommodations, don't look at them from the perspective of "ds needs to do x to get his grade up in class y" but instead from the perspective of "ds is challenged with x-issue, and he needs to have accommodation y in order to show his knowledge (or function in the classroom or whatever).

The school may also try to have teacher 1 want one thing to happen in their classroom vs teacher 2 want something different etc. Try to look for a global solution - whatever your ds needs, he most likely needs across the board, not something piece-mealed together to fit an individual teacher's desires.

It might also help, if you're thinking of specific accommodations, to look at your state board of ed's website to see if their policy manual includes lists of "typical accommodations". We found that our school was quick to say "yes" to anything on this list, and also responded with an automatic "I don't think we can do that" to any other request.

Best wishes,

polarbear

So glad you checked in, Bluemagic, I was hoping you would.



Yes, DS will be most uncomfortable: counselor (new this year), social worker, dean, psychologist, "intervention specialist" from special ed, and all his teachers via assessment surveys they filled out, the teachers won't be there in person.

And that is part of the problem. He doesn't like being the focus of attention at all, and that includes his work being the focus. He does just fine in group presentations and group performances. He just can't do it by himself.

He really is where he needs to be academically. He is working ahead of the curriculum in calc and comp sci, and understands the course content in physics, all APs. In his two honors classes, he likes the pace of the class and the ability/energy of the other students.


I actually think the study hall assigned to a particular teacher on certain days or under certain circumstances (after a paper is assigned or before a lab is due, or after a poor test) might be helpful, to foster the teacher-student conversation that he avoids, and from there I hope that he will be able to show them his work. He has terrific teachers this year, he likes them all, likes his classes, likes his classmates. I think he doesn't like or trust himself. He already sees the social worker one study hall a week, for a homework check, and to facilitate make-up tests, individual meetings with teachers, and assignment delivery. He doesn't like it, of course.

All underclassmen have a study hall if they don't have a class scheduled. DS's music teacher got him assigned to her room during his, which is so much better than a regular study hall. He grabs a practice room and can be alone, do homework, practice, compose, move around, chat if there is anyone else there. It is a privilege that could change, but he needs it. I will hold on to that for him.

PolarBear, thank you so much for the advice, and the difference between the school's perspective and mine.

I had not thought of it that way. And thank you for the suggestion to check my state BofEd policies. I went to check it out and it is a wealth of information.

For the unexpected, I prepare a few responses for myself in advance:

"This is the first I've become aware of this. Can you tell me more?"
"I wasn't prepared to discuss this today. Can we please meet again soon once I've had a chance to prepare?"

Thank you, Geofizz, good to have those in my pocket, too.

Great advice from geofizz!

One more response I found useful to have ready: sometimes at these meetings you'll find staff/teachers/etc will think they already know the answer to everything based on experience with past students (and please know - I appreciate that there are many times when that past knowledge is extremely helpful and on point..)... but.. if you find that the discussion is going off course based on this type of logic, it's helped me to state simply: "We aren't here to talk about __, we are here to talk about the individual needs of my ds."

polarbear