Hey,

I am new here, and I feel so fortunate to find such a forum and a group of wonderful parents who like to share thoughts and help each other out. I know what I am about to ask has nothing to do with giftness, but just I think you are all intelligent, knowledgeable people who might be able to offer what I am looking for. Something has been bothering me for a long time, my now DD3.5 always likes to collect small stuff such as pins, leaves, nuts, buttons.... anything small, she would hold them in her hands and won't let go, which causes her to fall very often when she climbs. I could not find any other kids her age in my circle to relate to.She started doing that since she was an infant, I have failed many attempts to help her break this habit.. Wondering is she normal, should she be seen? or how should I guide her.. any advice? Thanks!

Welcome! Your DD has a fascinating hobby there :-) I wouldn't think it was a problem in itself - she's quite old enough to have her own particular likes. Would it maybe help to arrange for her to have a special shoulder bag or small tin that will fit in a pocket or something like that to put her treasures in when she needs to climb? If she's like my DS with his treasures, simply offering to hold them for her or suggesting she put them in an existing pocket may not help, but offering her a special solution just for them may.

I think a certain degree of obsessiveness is normal at this age, although needing to go everywhere with a favourite teddy is commoner than needing to collect small things! But of course, if you feel that your DD's behaviour goes beyond normal and you're worried, I don't want to put you off seeking expert advice.

Mr W (2y7m) has a huge car collection. He is up to 50+ cars and knows them all. When sees cars he just stares at them. The matchbox cars display at the store is like a Christmas tree for him and it takes an hour for him to pick the one car he wants..

When we go for walks, he will stop and touch stuff and stare at stuff. For instance, a neighbor has a driveway coated with pebbles. He will stop to savor the difference in it texture.

A dead worm on the sidewalk covered with ants will cause him to bend over and yell at the ants and he will then blow on them to chase them off, then move the worm to the grass.

When he sees something new and he is interested in it, he will hold up his hands and wiggle his fingers. It is very mad scientist like!

Oh my goodness, your post just gave me a serious flashback! My DD6 did the exact same thing. Actually she still does, hee hee, though now she has lots of little treasure boxes to stash things in. She would even go to sleep with little trinkets clutched in her hand. One of her favorites at that age was this little plastic blue heart bead she found at a park, she called it "dirty blue heart" because it had lots of little scratches. I usually would offer to hold things for her if she needed two hands for something or encourage her to put them in her pockets, if she had any, but I never tried to break her of the habit. I always thought of it as a real interest of hers and and the way she'd hold onto things forever as a sign of her intensity and tenacity. She is a very strong willed child. I wouldn't worry too much about it, she will grow out of holding them in her hands and discover treasure boxes, purses, pockets etc.

DD is obsessed with small things that are choking hazards. She is really proud of herself when she finds them and gives them to me! She also brings any cat hairs that I didn't sweep up yet basically to tell me I need to clean (and if something is not clean she gets really upset until I clean it).

Thank you all for the replies. That really helps put my mind at ease. Guess what I found?(check the line in bold) could be associated with giftness, have come to the right place for help. LOL.

Some behaviours of young gifted children

Gifted children often have abilities which may not be recognized. They may also have highly creative abilities which are not expected and hard to see, or have disabilities which mask their high abilities.

The following are often (but not always) observed compared to age based norms:

Has a good memory.
Has a subtle or mature sense of humour (may understand word puns before other children) may not appreciate silly or bathroom humour of other children the same age.
exceptionally curious.
May see solutions that rarely occur to others.
Has a high energy level.
Has a wider knowledge base.
Uses advanced vocabulary.
Uses advanced grammar or sentence structure.
May be very interested in abstract terms (time, space).
Is interested in cause and effect relationships.
Has a long attention span for activities of own choosing.
May enjoy difficult puzzles.
Sees endless possibilities for various situations or uses for objects.
Says what he/she thinks without regard for consequences.
Great imagination, frequent daydreamer.
Highly developed powers of concentration, may need to be physically touched to become aware of surroundings.
May have advanced sense of justice and fairness (and may not be able to understand responses of age peers).
May be strongly motivated to do things that interest him/her, may be unwilling to work on other activities.
May be reluctant to move from one subject area to another, becomes so engrossed in concept that wishes to explore it fully.
May prefer the company of older children or adults.
May prefer to work alone, resists co-operative learning.
May have wide gaps in abilities or knowledge.
May struggle with easy materials but thrive on complexity.
May have difficulty with handwriting or pencil use. (complains of it being too slow)
May have advanced hand/eye co ordination.
May be emotionally sensitive (high levels of self criticism, may have low self concept and poor peer relations. May ask many questions about pain, death, anger, love).
May like to count, may play with number concepts ( work in bases other than 10 for example).
May choose factual books and dislike fiction and fairy stories.
May collect things.
May have more imaginary friends than regular children and be able to describe them in detail.
May be sought out by other children in leadership situations.

Here is the link: link

Hi limonata, "She would even go to sleep with little trinkets clutched in her hand" that was exactly what she did last night...and like you said about your DD, mine is the same type, a strong willed perfectionist. I wonder did you talk to her about her obsession with small stuff, why she thinks they are so special and would like to collect? Just thinking to guide her to get most out of it. Thanks.

hmmm. I don't think I ever asked her why she liked to collect small things, I just knew they were important to her. I did buy her a huge bag of plastic beads at the craft store and lots of marbles over time. She liked to dump and sort these items into tupperware containers and coffee cans. Honestly, I feel like I always had so many other things to worry about with her, I never really worried about collecting small stuff. Now that she is older collecting is still definitely part of who she is but not to the point of being obsessive or worrisome. And what she collects is different; last year it was books.

My DD4 loves small things too. As a baby she would pick up tiny pieces of lint or whatever. She now tries to sneak items into school. Yesterday she took a bead out of her underwear. I love the idea of a special purse. We definitely need to implement that.

This thread made me laugh. Both of my DD's love small things, ages 4.5 and 2. DD4.5 is more obsessive about collecting and playing with small random toys which almost always end up in bed with her. Anything from picture frames, beads, small plastic ponies, etc. She is very strong-willed and a perfectionist as well.

DD2 is more into the little pieces of lint on the carpet -- she's done that since infancy.

Yes, this is a funny phenomenon. Don't recall ds doing this, but dd4 still does. She almost always had a car in hand from 2-3years, and has a pretty big collection. It was like in 'Conspiracy theory', where the guy has to have a copy of The Catcher in the Rye in order to feel ok. If we were at the store and she didn't have a car, we'd usually end up with a car. Thank goodness they were usually 98 cents.
Anyway, now she always wants to have something 'to point with' as she puts it. If we are getting in the car she will make sure she has one or run in to the house to get something, a Popsicle stick, pen or something else about that size. I wasn't sure why, but today she said it is because she wants to be a teacher. Fortunately it has gone from a very high level of 'need' to much milder 'need'. (nowadays if we can't find a pointer she might be able to survive until we get home )

Interesting thread. It brought back memories!

Actually, this was one of the first things our family noticed about our little guy. When he was maybe 2, he always had a small action figure in his hand, and he would twirl it over and over in his hands while focusing on it and moving his lips without words coming out. My older kids thought it was a little freaky, but it kept him happy and quiet in the car, in church and wherever we were. He slept with the action figure gripped in his hand, and if he couldn't find whichever was his favorite at the moment was really the only time he'd have melt-down. He's 10 now and still does it from time to time.

I asked him why he would spin it around and what was going on in his head, and he told me that he could picture stories as they happened when he was spinning it.