I have a 4 and half month old baby girl and I just don't know what to do for her anymore. Since I took her home from the hospital, she has had an amazing attention span, and has never slept much. At three and a half months she said her first words, which were I love you, though she can't pronounce the "L" very well, everything else is perfect.

She watches baby Einstein baby McDonald, and baby Mozart but that's about it. She hates anything that is babyish or toys/dvds that say they are for 0-6 months. She will only watch things that are 9 months and up. She learned to laugh by watching other babies on dvd laugh. She has created faces to let me know what she wants. She has an amazing attention span and will baby talk with us for up to an hour. She watches her baby Einstein over and over for 45 minutes, she also, get's very angry if I try and cook in the kitchen without her. I have never seen a baby get angry. I don't know where she learned it. She has never seen anyone get angry. If I can make her laugh, she get's bored with it easily and won't laugh anymore. She loves books, but I can only read so many books to her. Anyway, all this to say, I don't know what to get her to challenge her anymore. She has every learning toy above her age, she thinks they're great but she getting bored with them. She doesn't like baby stuff. She likes "doing" things, active, she get's frustrated because she can't move around yet. Tummy time is difficult because she wants to get up on her own. She can't crawl or walk yet and that frustrates her. When little kids are running around in the park she tries to wiggle out of my arms to get down. She refuses to drink water out of a bottle, and will only drink out of a glass like I do. I am out of resources, and out of ideas of how to challenge her. I want to keep up with her own pace, but there is only so much I can do for her since she's only 4 and half months old and can't even sit up on her own. She doesn't seem to be happy with anything unless it's challenging for 9+ months at least.

Any ideas, help, advice, or even encouragement? Thank you.

LOL - this won't last for ever!
Try the toy brand LEAPFROG
You are going to have to let her watch TV, try the Science Channel.
Make sure she gets Tummy Time.
Getting Angry is natural, you don't have to learn it from someone - LOL, how would YOU feel trapped in the body of a 4 month old.
You are still the Mom, though.
Treat her by her 'behavioral age' not her 'chronilogical age' for the most part.

Keep venting here - it's a rough ride!
Grinity

Really no advice here but wanted to post encouragement. She will be sitting up before you know it and that will ease some of the issues and by what you described I would be shocked if she isn't crawling/walking soon after that. She is a baby of determination and that determination will get her far. My suggestion would be to continue doing what you are doing: reading to her. I know a lot of people say you should keep with the same book but my DD would get bored with that approach so I read a lot of different books which helped build her vocabulary. Also keep up with the talking to her. I was not the best at that but my Mom and Grandmother are/were experts with it. They would hold her in their arms and talk to her forever. Having conversations if you will with DD. She would coo and baby talk and they would accept that as some answer to a question they had and proceed on with the conversation. It was magical to watch the interaction and IMO is one of the reasons she spoke as early as she did. We also did a lot of nursery rhymes with her but not just sang them rather made it a whole body experience for her. Itsy Bitsy Spider used her whole body and when the sun came out we would hold her hand over her head and wave it ... she now sings that song to use using all of the body movements. Head, shoulder, knees and toes is a great one to use to help establish body parts for her. That song and approach made it clear early on that DD understood her major body parts really early. She was able to point out body parts when asked and it was nothing to then add parts that were of the details: eyes, cheeks, chin etc. We also had finger puppets that were farm animals and I would sing Old McDonald and use the puppets for the song and she quickly learned animals and sounds they make. There is a lot of things you can do while she is still immobile. I hope that helps...

Thanks to both of you...what is really hard is that she refuses to lay down. Diaper changes are a horrible experience every time because she won't lay there and she will do crunches. She has to stand or sit up constantly which means she is being held (upright) or is in her baby jump bouncer! Her curiosity is difficult to keep up with, but I guess I was a handful for my mom because I was deemed gifted too in school. Yikes, what goes around comes around.

LOL ... I have so been there and you really are bringing up a lot of old memories. My DD never wanted to be held like a baby always doing the stomach crunches to sit up and be held sitting up. Just remember that those stomach crunches are strengthening her abilities to sit independently. And Grinity is correct ... tummy time is important so one suggestion I can give since my kiddo never liked tummy time was to place a pillow on your lap and lay her on her tummy patting her bottom. You can do this in short increments and build up on it.

And the changing diapers issue if I remember correctly I explained to her what I was doing it and why she needed to lay down until I was done... sounds crazy I know but it seemed to eliminate the crunch issue during diaper changing time. But it just proved how locked she was in her body.

I'm dying with laughter at the image of your baby doing crunches!

Yes it is exhausting and K-mom is right, she will be mobile soon which will alleviate her *anger* issues, LOL!

Just be careful what you wish for, you'll be in for a whole nuther set of problems at that point!

Take her as many places as you can, talk lots, and enjoy.

Welcome to the Baby Who Will NOT Be Denied Club, LOL!!!

Neato

First of all- you have come to the right place for support.

DS wanted to be held upright all the time to know what's going on in the family. The best thing I found was a Bumbo seat, which allowed him to sit without having the trunk support to do it. As long as a baby can hold their head up, the bumbo will do the rest. He was more content in the seat than on his tummy (although it's important to encourage tummy time also).

As far as toys, we did better with outings than anything else. At 6 months old DDs favorite places were zoos and natural history museums (still are). I would get toys for older children and they would hold interest better than at age toys. Also, books that were easier to hold, were an instant hit with both kids.

HTH

Jen

thanks, ya, its pretty funny to se her do crunches, but frustrating too! She wants it her way or else!

I'm just worried she's not enjoying being a baby herself!

I've tried the bumbo seat, she HATES I mean really really hates being retrained (as in a car seat, bumbo seat) trips and outing are horrible. She's hated car seats since I brought her home from the hospital. I find it only works if I sit back with her and read her a book. She wants to do things, learn! I don't know how to challenge her more.

At four and 1/2 months old, I'm not sure that there is much more you can be doing! DD9 was colicky and screamed all the time til about 6 months. Coincidentally, that's when she started to really be able to crawl around well.

I'll never know whether or not she was super fussy or totally unhappy, but I was doing a good job as a mom, as are you.

I can tell you today she is a very wonderful happy healthy girl. She doesn't even remember being a permanently pissed off baby. She does laugh at the stories, though and loves to hear what a stubborn little thing she was!!

It gets better!!!

Glad to hear it gets better... She's a happy baby when she does what she wants to do. No colic thank goodness! Just a big challenge. Thanks everyone for the encouragement.

It certainly is challenging, I'm not trying to minimize that. A very alert/smart baby can be exhausting!

I think Grinity is right concerning the Leapfrog toys. My kids loved them and as soon as they can sit independently there are some great toys they can *work* on, hopefully to their little hearts content.

In the meantime, you can always find kindness and support here!

I'd never thought of it that way but that's what I saw when DDs were babies. Even the Baby Einstein videos made them angry, so they spent much of their early years in the sling. When my back was sore, I'd get some relief with the johnny jump up.
I still marvel today when I see babies content to sit in their car seats playing with a toy. Hang in there, it does get better!

P.S. Here's an old thread you may find helpful
http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/ubbthreads.php/topics/35474/1.html

Ah the good old days. My DS didn't refuse until he could stand independently. But from that moment on, he would never, ever lay down to get his diaper changed, even the really gross Poos. So I would get him into the smallest bathroom, and change him standing up, chasing him if I had to, until I felt that I had wiped properly. The other mom's thought that I was c.r.a.z.y.

So someday she will be able to stand, or maybe even hold herself up, and she'll let you do it that way. We gotta be creative with these 'un-little' little ones.

Same with the carseat - he would tense his body so I had to push with all my might to get the car seat straps on. In a few months she'll realize that to get to the library requires a car and car seat. Then she'll be more reasonable.

It really is ok to let her watch some TV. Hireing homeschooled kids to come over and relieve you might be good to, or find that special 'fake-grandma' who lives nearby. Or a teen from the highschool who needs to put in some community service hours. You have to put on your life preserving equipment first. Really.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Heh.

Oh, what fun lies ahead!!

I have a series of pictures of Mr W (15 mos now ) at 4.5 months, sitting up, propped on his arms, cackling at TV, alternating through the various emotions, with the last picture of him looking at DW with a very serious expression. In one picture, you can see DW's shoes and you realize unly then that he is a SMALL baby. At 8 mos he watched the entired Wizard of Oz. He love to dance when DWTS is on.

Its a very hard thing to keep him occupied. He only started sleeping through the night at 12 mos, but still, on occasion, will stay up until 10 and then awake at 5. We had to work very hard to let him cry it out. DW and I made it by alternating nights with him.

At 3 mos we got him a "command center" that he could sit in, move back and forth in, and do stuff with. It has about 10 gizmos. At 5 mos he got a kiddie piano. At 4 mos he had shape sorters and the peg puzzles and the Dr Suess board books. We also got him some stuff that had arms and he could spin the wheels on. We took him for walks every morning and evening ( still do the evening ones ) in a baby bjorn. The sitter took him to the mall and on walks. I would also put him in a boppy seat on the counter while I cooked.

He loves music and could recognize artists and works from as early as we can recall. When he was 3 mos old he sang to the pianist in Nordstrom's one day for 30 minutes. At 6 mos he was enraptured by a player piano. Nowadays in the car he is in control of the radio and demands we change channels or que up his songs on the ipod.

We could never leave him alone for a second if he was not in his command center or watching tv. The level of interaction he requires to this day is simply draining for everyone. You just don't get used to it - you just rise to the occasion!!!

Things are easier now - he will unload the dishwasher, take out the trash, throw his diapers away, and follow instructions or get stuff when we are at the store or at the drs office - but also harder as he opens doors, can use the phone, the channel changer, and not always correctly. He knows how to turn things on and off!! ( He will turn off my laptop if he wants my attention and I am working and he evades DW!!)

Mr W prefers to play with 3 year olds or older and their toys and with adults. He does some astonishing things sometimes. He also understands far more than he lets on.

So, yes, its going to be very, very hard sometimes.

Oh I had to laugh at your post, onewinterbaby!

I didn't know what hit me when DD appeared on the scene. We played a Baby Einstein DVD for her at 3 months old (for the same reasons you said) and she actually liked it - until the credits rolled, that is, and she started screaming. It took a few times, but we finally figured out that she did not care for the credits.

My advice? Get a Moby Wrap, strap your baby on your chest *face out* and get out there and do whatever you can, talking all the time. Our DD would not tolerate facing our chests or riding on our backs.

Until she crawls, she's going to be mad as a hornet, if she's like my DD. I swear I was the only mom celebrating when my baby began to crawl! She could then spend hours examining the perimeter of the room on her own, although of course I had to make sure she didn't eat anything or bonk her head.

For us, the first months until DD could crawl was hands down the hardest. No one told us our baby was bored.

Welcome!

Yikes! Looks like I'm in for quite a ride! Geez...haha, well, I'll buckle up and get ready. I hope it does get better when she starts crawl!

Yes, she does seem bored to tears! Haha...she doesn't cry about it though, she just get's very demanding or mad.

What concerns me is that she wants to drink out of an adult cup herself, get toys herself. She knows exactly what she wants to do herself. She has own learning agenda in mind. I feel like I'm the one expected to keep up...haha...

thanks for all the advice on how to keep her busy! Guess I'll have two shadows permanently! The piano may be a good idea for her. She loves music! Hopefully I can make it the next few months!

This phase and the many that follow it will pass before you know it and that is both a beautiful and a sorrowful thing.
Enjoy this time while you have it, you'll have a whole new world to worry about once she starts crawling around.

Wow - I'm smiling reading through all this, remembering. But at the time there was nothing to smile about! DS (now 5) spent much of his first year in the Baby Bjorn. He would not happily sit anywhere for any length of time. I remember the changing table traumas too - i had to strap him in tight to get changes in! Interesting "toys" to examine while the changing goes on helped, but we had to change these every time to keep the interest.

I wrote out a 2-page instruction sheet for my mom when she was babysitting (i think DS was around 4 months before I went out). It listed all the things to try if DS got fussy, which was often. The best thing at the time was to lie down on your back with him with a pile of books and just read. He would happily listen to books for hours. We had lots of dr. seuss at that time.

I think we waited a little later with the TV (maybe around 9 months?), but his first favorite videos were blue's clues with steve. Until about 18 months, he loved loved loved blue's clues (he didn't care for the new guy though, so we got all the old steve episodes on ebay.)

I'm trying to think of favorite toys... it's hard to remember! These were a big hit for a long time. They have little fun shaker things you can put in the slots, and later on DS wore the blocks on his wrists like bracelets.

Parents soft blocks

And keep up with the tummy time - that helped my DS become mobile. He didn't care for it much either, so he would roll over. Then he discovered he could keep on rolling and got around very quickly that way for quite a while.

good luck!

We didn't allow our babies to watch tv until at least a year old, and then they had only very limited exposure. My kids were absolutely exhausting as infants. We wore them as much as possible (front carrier, sling, or backpack) talked to them constantly, and read lots of books together. My babies were walking independently at between seven and ten months, talking up a storm, and needing to be watched every moment. When all the other moms were sitting around talking, my kids were walking around, asking questions, and getting into things. It was a tough stage, but it didn't last forever! Enjoy your baby, and take comfort in the thought that six months or a year from now, it will be a whole different story.

I haven't read all the posts, but have you started teaching your baby to sign? My dds learned quickly and it saved on the "guess work" before they were verbal enough to make needs known. www.signingtime.com has great DVDs that my kids loved!

This thread brings back such memories. DS HATED being a baby! I can not say that strongly enough, there was nothing about it he liked. He was p*ssed a LOT. Whenever we held him, he had to be upright & looking out. We borrowed a jumper but that lasted about 2min until he discovered he wasn't able to walk. Then he lost it! The exersaucer we got him worked pretty well up until he crawled & then he would not tolerate that. Tummy time didn't really happen because he became hysterical. Still, he crawled at 6 mos and within about a week of crawling, he was up a full flight of stairs.

Thankfully, the toddler & preschool years have been much kinder. Each has brought it own challenges but not near the intense anger & frustration of the first 6 months. You will get through this & your DD will be happier when she is less constrained by her own body. Best wishes

My dc's were both this way, maybe not as angry, but definitely with very little sleep. If they are not sleeping well this can get really bad all around, the only ways we got the kids to sleep: let them sleep on or next to us, driving in the car worked well for naps too. Ds would never let us transfer him from the car or stroller, dd does ok with this, but will stay up all night so she can be with me. I might try again soon to get her into her little toddler bed with the lightning mcqueen sheets.
Anyway you might focus on physical exertion to get the baby to sleep more, with summer coming on a parent-child swim class might be just the thing, you will still be holding her but she will weigh a *lot* less! Hopefully after that she will crash hard for a nap!
For that matter, tub-time can be fun too, I know you say she can't sit up, but you can get in the tub with her to just chill/preserve your back. Some colorful cups are good if she's grasping stuff already (bet she is).

Also, I have to second the back-pack for kids, it worked wonders for us, not just for hiking. We used it to cook, clean, whatever needed to get done. Ds and dd both seemed much more content to 'oversee' than stay in a playpen.

Welcome!

Oh, sounds a lot like my DS (22 months today) at that age, although thankfully he was an early sitter and started getting happier when he could sit unassisted. He got happier still when he could crawl (6 months) and MUCH happier when he started walking (8.5 months). You've been given a lot of really great advice here... the other thing that was a godsend for us was going to places with older babies/toddlers, like the local indoor play centre and story time at the library. He just drank in the sight of the 'big kids', really seemed to be studying them for cues on things he could try to do. (Meanwhile he had zero interest in other babies his own age).

And just an aside, on the carseat thing - some babies hate the convertible carseats (the kind that go rearfacing now and forward facing when they're older) less than they hate the infant seat, so if your little one is still in the "baby bucket", you might want to look into a convertible seat earlier rather than later. They sit a little more upright and less cramped (and then once they're a little older, 7-8 months or so, it can be reinstalled a little *more* upright to really let them see better). My DS did better in the car once we switched, although in his case we HAD to since he was outgrowing the bucket by 5-ish months.

I actually have advice. That sounds exactly like DS6. He hated being a baby! Truly, just like yours. (second born loves being a baby) Anyway, he developed very rapidly and skipped a lot of stages. For example, he stood at 4 months and cruised at 6 month. He stacked boxes to reach things babies shouldn't touch when he was 7 months. It wasn't easy. More importantly, I think it really hurt his brain. Those basic development stages (crawling, reaching, rolling around) develop important neural pathways. I believe that children who are GT end up with so many sensory issues and quirks because they outsmarted their little bodies when they were babies by asking their cortex to do jobs that their midbrains and pons' were supposed to handle. Just a thought.

It gets better when they learn how to crawl. DD4 used to roll over to stuff when she was 2-3 months. She would stiffen her back and look for her toy and then roll over until she got there. Right before they learned to crawl was pretty rough with the girls.

DD8m would get frustrated and lunge at the other two as they went by. She would try to crawl and fall on her nose. Then one day she didn't fall forward and she was off. She also scooted for awhile before she crawled, mostly backwards.

Now she is trying to walk. She will let go of her wall or chair and lunge towards her sibs when they go by. If she falls she gets really mad and throws a fit, kicking her feet and yelling. Then she sits up and crawls as fast as she can to catch up. As soon as she gets her balance down shes going to be a much happier baby. She really wants to keep up with her sibs.

One thing I did with DD4 was I would play CDs or audio books with people talking or singing so I could put her in her crib if I had to do something where I could not hold her right then. She was a pretty happy baby but needed constant interaction. She still is like that. It is very helpful to spread out the love. Let Grandma or Aunts, friends have some turns. They also liked tv from a very young age and they liked computer games. It is easier now because they play with each other. DD4 will read sibs books while I do chores sometimes and DD2 likes to show the baby different toys and things he finds.

Your baby sound wonderful. Give your baby lots of snuggles they grow up too quick.

my 7mo. old has been getting dressed standing since 4-5mo. old she hates laying on her back except to breastfeed and sleep... try dressing her sitting in your lap or standing holding on to something.... if she can stand yet?

i heard her screaming at the top of her lungs the other day i came in the bedroom and DH had her laying down trying to dress her i said "OH NO! Honey she HATES that! you have to let her stand while you do it"