I am not sure what to make of this. My dd almost 3 and I have enjoyed playing with some of my toys I keep in my offices. Due to there being a chock hazard I have kept them when we were not playing until a few days ago. I decided my dd just really is not going to choke on them, so I gave her a few of the toys she really liked playing with which she graciously accepted. Yesterday, she knocked on the door to my office and gave me back the toys and said she did not want them. I asked her why and she said because they are mine, and that I should have them. I tried to explain that they were hers now, but she said she understood, but I should keep them. I really do not know what to make of this action of hers. It took me back so much that I had no immediate response, and even now I don't know what to make of it.

That did cross my mind, and when I was explaining that they were now hers that we could still play with them together. She insisted that she understood, but that the were mine. She has a strong sense of items belonging to different people, and I felt like she could not imagine them belonging to her instead me. It almost felt to me like she felt guilty owning them instead of me owning them.

What immediately comes to mind is a common trait in gifted children, often listed amongst identifying characteristics, which is alternately described as "advanced moral reasoning", "well developed sense of justice", "moral sensitivity", "advanced ability to think about such abstract ideas as justice and fairness", "empathy", "compassion". Links to lists of gifted characteristics include several articles on the Davidson Database here and here, SENG (Silverman), SENG (Lovecky).

It is possible that your DD is developing theory of mind in which she is considering the feelings which others may have. It is also possible that the toys are simply more fun when mommy is part of the playtime.

One possible response may be to have a conversation in which you ask gently probing questions, to see what she is thinking. "Do you like the toys? Which one is your favorite? Are they more fun to play with if mommy is playing with you? Did you think I would miss the toys and feel bad? I've been saving them just for you and looking forward to you being old enough to know not to put the little pieces in your mouth. You know that, right? Would you like to have one toy today, and then two toys another day? "

She may surprise you with what she is thinking.

Just say thank you and go back to where you were. Sometimes we don't need to know why just to accept.

This is certainly true. In the moment a parent might decide to go with the flow, or they may decide this is a great moment for bonding and learning what's on kiddo's mind.

By learning what a 3-year-old thinks and feels and has observed of the world, a parent may gently guide the child, including pointing out things a child might have missed, or interpreting observations in light of additional information.

Love, love, love hearing what my kiddos think and feel and have observed of the world. YMMV.

Another possibility is that she may feel that the toys will be happier with you. Ascribing feelings to inanimate things is very common in young kids (even if they "know" that it isn't true).

I did talk to her more, and what I was finally able to get out of her was that she liked the idea of daddy having his own toys to play with, bu she does like for me to share with her.