DH and I are considering exposing DS26mo to French as a second language. I'd love some feedback from experienced parents here, particularly those whose children weren't in an immersive bilingual environment from birth. DS' English vocabulary is vast, he's developing a love of word play, and I feel a language would be a fun new challenge for him to enjoy! (Confession: I ADORE language learning.)

Background: We speak English at home, though I can also speak French fluently and Spanish nearly fluently. DH is a uningual anglophone.

Goals:
1. For DS to achieve native level fluency for age in French around kindergarten age.
2. To train DS' ear to an authentic French Canadian (Montreal/Quebec City) accent.
3. I'd be thrilled if we could plant some early seeds of meta cognition.
4. Build confidence and competence with early oration (dramatic expression, public speaking).

Prelim Plan: I'm thinking of hiring an undergraduate student majoring in French--ideally French theater!-- to spend two or three one-hour sessions each week with DS, reading French stories, acting out role plays, and playing in French while I exercise. I want his "lessons" to be pretty self-contained with a high entertainment value. It also wouldn't hurt for him to learn to take direction from a sensitive outside teacher. (ETA: Obviously I can do this myself, but I'm looking for someone to relieve me while I exercise, so I figured the caregiver could serve double duty.)

I would be grateful for any feedback that you might have to offer! Thanks!

Are you planning on these sessions being your DS's only exposure to French? Because then you're talking about getting to native fluency on a total of under 500 hours' exposure to the language, which seems optimistic to me even bearing in mind that native fluency compared to native French-speaking 5yos might not be the same as compared to adults!

Provided you don't regard the effort as wasted if native standard isn't achieved, sounds good to me. You might want to think about how you want to prime the student to react if your DS is unhappy about the French immersion - being left with a caregiver who resolutely refused to speak the language you already understand could be very distressing, so some sensitivity might be needed so that it didn't either distress him or turn into English-speaking babysitting.

Aquinas, I will be watching this post with interest. I am fluent in 3 languages and dh in 2. Dh and I talk to each other and dd in one of our native languages. However, dd is still far from being fluent in that language. After 4 years of immersion, she is at the level of a native 1.5 year old. The reason, IMO, is that English is a far simpler language to learn- the grammar rules are simpler. Plus she knows that everyone speaks English and not many speak the other language. So what is the incentive? The only hope I have is that when my siblings and I were young, we spoke in a language different from my parents but as adults, we ended up learning both languages plus English. So it will click someday. All the best and sounds like you have a fun plan. Maybe French cartoons and songs might pique his interest as well.

That's interesting lovemyDD. The only family I have know who have tried raising their kids bilingual - but using their non english langauge at home as you do - were very successful from what I understand. Both children went through a phase between 10 months and 2yrs where they tended to muddle the two languages together, but from my understanding they did separate them by 2-2.5 yrs, figured out when to use which, and became pretty fluent in both. Though I haven't seen them since the youngest was 2, the family has since moved countries and reversed their language use, so now they are working on keeping their kids' English.... I think their girl was an earlier/more fluent speaker in both languages.

I started Mandarin with DD in K, but that was only once a week. And she got Spanish in school. Now she is in 4th grade and we are in Canada so she has to take French, no Spanish but she has the Spanish background. After grade 8 she can switch back to Spanish and I think the French will accomodate that. And she does still have Mandarin once a week, I am adding a couple privates a month. We only speak English at home. I think that as long as you are consistent and keep it going, language works. You have to have real immersion later on and keep it going. Hence why most Canadians do not speak French after high school, like me. I can barely say any words in French. I had no place to talk French. Learning and keeping are two different things.

My dh only speaks Spanish (native Spanish speaker) and I speak English. Thus, the boys get more English than Spanish. Ds6 loves Spanish and using Spanish in non- English settings. He now can read easy readers in Spanish.

He did struggle as a toddler, saying some words only English, some only Spanish. By 2.5, he knew to speak English to English speakers and vice versa.

My ds 3.5, refuses to speak Spanish, but understands everything.

I do think a fun person with songs and activities will help. Also, lots of exposure will help too. Give it a try, and see how your dc reacts.

Off topic, but this reminds me of the time I visited my Danish friends who were then living in Sweden. Their son, at about this age, was attending nursery in Swedish but spoke Danish at home and with various friends and, of course, family. He had very sensibly adopted the policy: "Faced with a new person, speak Swedish to them. If that fails, they must be Danish, so speak Danish." Unfortunately my Swedish didn't pass muster...

aquinas, I wish I had useful advice but we are really struggling to get DD to speak any other language and she is immersed at home at least 20% of the time. She seems very committed to monolingualism for now although she understands French and prefers to watch movies in French over English. She's a puzzle, that one.

[quote= very committed to monolingualism [/quote]
I like that term. That would define my dd. she understands everything we say in our native language but she refuses to speak in it. She has said," mom, I am not from (our home country). I am an American and Americans only like English." I have disapproved of this attitude but I can't really force her.

My Sister in law only speaks english to her kids, her husband only spanish. They go to a school where english is spoken. The older (who is VERY bright) can speak conversationally - but not fluently.

I think to get close to the level you are hoping you will need to also speak to the child in French. How could DS get a Canadian accent from a grad student?

Thanks for all the input, folks! I really appreciate the thoughtful responses you've given me.

Here are my key thoughts after letting your comments percolate:

1. Priority number one is enjoyment. ColinsMum made a great point about risking frustration if DS suddenly finds himself with an hour where he isn't spoken to in English. A light touch is probably best at first. Maybe a better goal is to foster an appreciation and awareness of French than to achieve X fluency, which itself is an arbitrary goal.

2. I would like to phase in some French discussion with DS myself, but I do enjoy the richness of his English vocabulary. I think the opportunity cost of speaking English with me is too high at this point for me to begin French yet.

3. Native fluency was a bit of a specious goal with such low frequency of speaking French. I was able to pick up enough French in an hour each day at schooling kindergarten to become fluent, and our family has a history of multilingualism, so I have a feeling DS will respond like me (and mommin's DD with maybe 5-10 hours/week.)

4. How to develop a Canadian accent-- I have one, I'd choose a student teacher based on accent.

Sometimes mathematicians find it difficult to make themselves understood.

We are a bilingual household, but I was also an ESL preschool teacher in Japan (I taught English primarily to native Japanese kids around your DS's age.).

My kids are both (probably) gifted. They understand a considerable amount of what their papa says to them (He's the Japanese one.). Initially with my oldest, papa was the primary caregiver, so he spoke more Japanese than English. Once our roles reversed, so did DS's language abilities.

Both now speak English more than Japanese. A lot more because it's what they're more comfortable in. My DS used to be in a Montessori classroom where 20/25 of the kids spoke a second language at home and almost all of the parents said that the kids would understand what the parents were saying in that language, but would usually respond in English.

At the ESL preschool (not necessarily gifted), the kids who were immersed in English 5 days a week including after-school care became fluent the quickest. Those who came mornings only took a bit longer, but were still fluent by 5 or 6 years old. Students who came once or twice a week for 2-hour sessions were not fluent at all (but typically had not started learning English until they were 5).

That's been my experience...

We speak two languages in our house too. English and Czech. We've spoken both languages to the boys since the day they were born but the first two years or so Czech was a priority as we knew they would pick up English no matter what but Czech was going to be a hassle. Even now I speak both languages to them and DS5.4 flat out refuses to speak Czech. He understands most of what I (and others) say but he will NOT speak any Czech with an exception of maybe 3 words (and he insists those are English! lol). Even when my mom who does not speak a single word of English comes for a visit and usually stays 4-8 weeks, he still refuses to talk in Czech and just finds other ways to communicate with her. He says "It's not my language" and that's it for him. He can say more in Spanish just from what he's picked up on TV! I'm hoping he'll change his mind once we go overseas for the Summer in a year or two. DS3.10 is still very speech delayed, plus diagnosed with Autism but we have seen huge improvements in his speech the last month or so. And he's just now in the repeating stage like a little two year old who repeats everything he hears, and he doesn't care if it's Czech or English, he uses them both. I can see him being fluent in both languages (plus other languages on top of those two) once he figures the whole spoken language thing out. He's the one who started reading before 2.5 so words and languages are his thing. I've seen him practice Italian and Dutch words on the Kindle! lol

Anyways, this is just to say that no matter how hard you try and what plan you have, a lot depends on each and every child and the level of their stubbornness! You'd think that a 5 year old with two parents who are native Czech speakers and a 20 year old brother who speaks both English and Czech, he'd be fluent in Czech but no! He's just too hard headed and it's all about English for him!

My dh and I pick up languages quickly but we really stacked the deck with our kids as far as doing two languages from the beginning, thinking that it would give us a foundation for giving them more challenges at home later. As a result they are native speakers of two languages.

I have found that having a special babysitter who is willing to pretend to not understand the majority language is great with kids who can speak the language but don't HAVE to speak it that often.

Preschoolers can learn languages quickly but the same plasticity of the brain that lets them pick up languages fast also lets kids lose them quickly so in our case the work has mostly been about keeping the language up. It isn't a "set and done" kind of thing but more on going than we first anticipated.

If you want your child to be fluent I would go the immersion preschool route first and add the babysitter to mix.

As for kids who speak back in the majority language, we made that a parenting issue. Once you hit 3, when you are addressed in a language, you need to respond in that language. Just like you need to use your silverware when you eat, etc. Every family has to pick their own battles though and I am just sharing what was successful for us.

Most of the people I have met who were fluent in two languages lived in households where English was not spoken (or could not be spoken) and went to schools where only English was spoken. kids where English (assuming an English speaking country) is spoken in the home seem to stop speaking after going to school.

Dear Aquinas,

I hope that I can help. Both my husband and I are bilingual in French and English (we live in a French-speaking country and have English speaking parents)and we chose early on and with the pediatrician's advice to assign one language to each parent. DS (now 24 mos) was primarily exposed to English from birth as I took an extended maternity leave and my parents who take care of him twice a week only speak English to him. Then he entered preschool where they only speak French. DH continues to primarily speak French with him. And it's working out pretty well.

You mention that you speak French fluently. I would definitely use this to my advantage if I were you but to for an easy transition before speaking to him at greater lengths in French, I would speak both languages to your child when referring to specific words...E.g my son refers to his hand as "main" so I will respond by saying for example "donne moi ta main" and immediately follow it by "give me your hand". I often as him to repeat the word in English if he answers in French and he complies.

Other tricks, French comptine songs found on youtube (there are some sung by French Canadian speakers) which you can sing together, reading books together and asking him questions in French, and if he plays with toys, V-tech and Fischer price make devices that change the language setting...Once interested, you know these little ones will want more! (DS requests to watch Little Einsteins in Russian every time so although we don't speak a word, we go with the flow! We expand it by playing Russian composers etc...)

From what I have seen so, children learn languages faster and more profoundly if a primary caretaker uses the language rather than if he/she is solely exposed to classes, which IMHO can be a little boring and not as effective if the language is not being used on a daily basis...

Hope this helps...

This is terrific feedback, folks. Thank you so much for generously sharing your experiences with me.

Max's Mom, thanks for the insights into how your family has managed the two languages, and for some thoughtful suggestions for fun ways to introduce French subtly. I also like that you meld your use of French and English to connect the two languages in real time. That's a strategy I hadn't considered before, and I'm glad you mentioned it, because I will almost certainly put it to use! Thank you!

Titubeante, thanks for providing some insight into how you manage the parenting side of the languages. Helpful!

MK, I can totally see DS being staunchly in favour of (or against) a language like your DS. I've been teaching him a bit of Spanish too (I'm also quite fluent) to pique his interest in the concept of different languages. I may take a cultural approach to language and introduce French (and Spanish) in reference to geography, music, food, etc. to make it a strong sell as insurance!

Thanks for your thoughts lilmisssunshine. How much dedicated time in the language do you think the children only practising 1-2 hours/week were getting?

I have been studying french with ds13 off and on for about a year, after deciding that his first pick, Japanese, was a bit TOO much of a challenge for us. I have ok french skills and zero Japanese experience.
I will introduce vocab in the car, while eating, etc. And do lessons on conjugation, etc. more formally.

Some silliness~
My dd7 just started voice lessons and the instructor is classically trained and suggested a french art song; at first I was like...uh she doesn't know ANY french, she's 7! But I just decided, well we'll see how it goes. We spent a bit of time the first week going over pronunciation of just the lines in the song, and towards the end, she was like, 'wait - is this song IN FRENCH??'. Lol, a little freaked out.
I said she should just keep trying and that the teacher thought she could do it so who was I to say no. (In truth I rarely see this 7 year old fail at anything).
3 lessons in, the fear is gone, she's just enjoying learning the song.
Add to that we are thinking of visiting a french speaking city soon, and both kids are picking up the french-english dictionaire and quizzing me on all kinds of words I can and can't recall; they are pretty surprised when I get a hard one right.
It is at least a good time.

The magic number in bilingual research is 20% of a child's waking hours spent interacting in a language in order for the kids to be fluent. So a few hours with a tutor each week would be great enrichment but it will take a lot longer for the time to result in fluency.

I can't remember if you said you were planning to do French immersion kindergarten, but if you are then having your child have that time with a tutor or in a fun language class would ease that transition and let him hit the ground running.

My kids go to a dual language immersion school and the kids who had some exposure to the target language either by way of a class or a tutor or a parent or grandparent who sometimes spoke to them had an easier time in the beginning than the kids who had no exposure.

It sounds like you are trying to also set the accent with the tutor. Kids can be pretty adaptable in their accents. I have seen kids who speak in a very different accent to their parents than they do with their friends in order to communicate with their friends more easily or to fit in.


There are many bilingual parenting boards out there and there are some great books too - The Bilingual Edge is probably my favorite. I believe that has at least a chapter on raising kids NOT using the immersion methods of OPOL (one parent, one language) or Home vs Community but having children spend time with a tutor or take a class.

I totally agree with Max's mom that the relationship with the person speaking the languages to them is going to have a huge effect on how well it goes. Having a parent or parents or primary caretakers will be better than an occasional tutor, but having a fun tutor who is amazing will be much better than having someone who the child doesn't "click" with.

I think you are on the right track to make the language exposure something so much fun that it is irresistible! Your energy and attitude would have a profound effect.

There are many parenting forums specifically related to raising bilingual children out there so you can find even ideas and support on adding French to your child's life.

Good luck!