I have heard countless times that as a gifted child gets older their "uniqueness" is less noticible. It's still there but other kids are also reading, writing, doing arithmetic, etc. so that when a gifted kid does the same it isn't as incongruent. There's no glaring discrepency, as there is when a two year old is writing words or spelling, etc.

So here I am, my eldest will be five in a few short months and the separation between her and her age peers is still obvious. Talking with some of the moms in my homeschool group, it's clear that her interests and abilities are inline with the older girls that are at minimum twice her age.

This doesn't strike me as "blending in" in any sense of the concept. I can't be the only one whose kid is like this! I'm not saying she has to hide who she is or anything like that, only that from what I had read on various gifted boards, I expected it to somehow be different now. I thought for sure, the things she did would be just another thing that kids do. Does that make sense?

My assumption is that this difference may be less noticeable closer to 8 or 9. It's still very obvious for my 6 year old.

Blatantly obvious for my 7yo. He's reading Dickens, taking Arabic and doing pre-algebra. He doesn't blend. :p

It might depend on levels of GTness here, since MG and closer to ND might manage to fit better, especially if they're GT in one subject and not across the board and get most of their intellectual stimulation at home instead of at school. They might slip past teachers unnoticed, sadly.

But I doubt HG+ kids are going to slow down.

I think how much challenge they get in school is a biggie, too. If GT kids are working at grade level between K and 3rd grade, yes, they might "level out" a bit because the GT kids really haven't learned much of anything for 4 years, while the ND kids have! That's hardly the kind of leveling out that I think is intended, however!

My best friend in high school was gifted in what I think of as gifted, in fact she should have given birth to my children not me. She didn't hide how smart she was, she also happened to be very pretty so guys didn't mind that she was twice as smart than they were. There was never a point when she blended, she always stood out - in a good way. So I think it depends on the child, is that child driven? more passive? I look at my 5 year old I can't imagine her ND peers catching up at any point. But she is a very driven child. I can see my 4 year old blending more just because she's more passive. Hope that helps:)

And she enjoyed hanging out with you because.....why?

Ruf is always reminding us that we like to hang out with people who 'get our jokes' and that this is about giftedness. I used to think that I was one of those 'pretty girls' who had a thing for 'brillient guys' - sort of a fetish. It took me a long long time to accept reality. How could I be gifted with so many flaws?

My DS is much more interested in 'masking' his uniqueness. In fact, when he gets around other Davidson YSP kids, I see a side of him that I never see at home, and I consider myself very accepting (I'm just not stimulating in that particular way.)

But no, I don't think that anyone would mistake him for ND. Or me either, no matter how hard I tried. LOL, a few years ago, as a project, I sat a few of my local friend down and told them about this side of myself that I've been hiding. Let's just say that I wasn't ever as good an actress as I though I was.

A new friend said to me recently: 'You are so brillient, how do you even relate to regular people?' I had to laugh.

Just for the record, as much progress as I've made with my gifted denial, I still keenly feel my bottleneck areas. I mean, don't try to have a conversation with me about the Obama cabinet. I'm a single topic girl: Gifted and The meaning of Life. Ok, that's two. But you get the picture.

Grins

For DS8, it gets less "noticeable" just because he knows he won't get an audience talking about algebra / cooking, so he just doesn't bring those subject up anymore. He mingles with his classmates by talking about bionicles and dairy of the wimpy kids, club penguins etc. If u are a parent of another child and u see him in school, u won't think he is any different.

OK, point well taken.

LOL! GT denial, alive and well again!

I have to agree with crisc that it takes until about 8-9 for the differences to become less noticeable. For my boys, now 18&20, this was the case. They were and still are
"gifted", but it was definitely less noticeable as the other kids started reading, etc. My daughter doesn't stick out (She wouldn't like to) because she's been double grade accelerated. She fits in so well socially and academically I don't think the other kids (outside of her class) even know she's only six.

Laura

(((She shoots - She scoress - The crowd goes wild!!!)))
I'm really happy to hear that.

My daughter doesn't stick out (She wouldn't like to) because she's been double grade accelerated. She fits in so well socially and academically I don't think the other kids (outside of her class) even know she's only six.[/quote]


Go Laura! Well Done with DD6!

Just because they might LIKE to stick out, doesn't mean that it's good for them.

Smiles,
Grin

After reading all the posts, I am reassured and have also come to a realization. I expected Boo to blend in better because *to me* she does. The the moments where I am gobsmacked by something she does are so much less. I'm just so used to her doing something atypical (compared to her age peers) that it doesn't register with me any more. When she was little everything was new to both of us. Now that she's 4.5 years old, I'm used to it. Even the things her little brother does are just par for the course.

The journey with our DS has uncovered a lot in DW's past.

My DW's Grandmother told us this weekend that DW was crawling to get specific, requested objects at 6 mos, and was reading at 2 1/2. She had also forgotten that she skipped 1st grade or won district-wide awards in middle school.

DW was so beat down by her mother for so long that its just starting to dawn on her how talented she is in relation to others.

We had standard acceleration in my city in the 60s. And many in my neighborhood of professionals -- engineers and doctors, had kids that did. It wasn't uncommon. Everyone playded together and we went through school together.

But one of my friends commented after we were out of college that her mother would always comment about me and say that I was one really smart kid etc.

Now, I have no idea how the difference in standing out, but there must be a difference in some way with HG kids even when with other gifted kids. And not in the test score kind of way, just as Grinity says about observing her son, a kind of interaction that is innate.

Ren

Very obvious for my now DS6 (b-day this weekend) :-) The other day we met at a book store that has one of those Thomas Train tables...a new friend of his who is 8 wanted to meet there for some play time. The 8 year old picked up some dino toys and started to "attack" the thomas trains on the table while my DS went and searched for a new Choose Your Own Adventure book from the shelf. He sat down in the chair in front of the train table and proceeded to get lost in the book....after a few minutes he looked up and told the 8 year old that he was too loud and that DS couldn't concentrate on his book. Needless to say the 8 yr old's mom just looked like my DS had horns growing out of his head for not wanting to play dino attack.

Sad thing is that many of our kids are sensitive enought to chatch those looks from adults, particularly adults that they spend hours and hours a day with (such as teachers) - do you wonder that we grow up internalizing the idea that we are 'weird?'

this story is a good one to keep in mind when school officials are saying not to accelerate because time with agemates offers such a great chance for kids to learn interpersonal skills. I would guess that this totally varies by individual child, and that as many kids learn to condesend to their classmates as learn appropriate interpersonal skills.

Of course, my DS12's beset moments are when he and his 13 your old (HG?) cousin can play 'typical kid games' together. They really enjoy all the usual kid things with each other. I have to assume that they are doing 'Dino Attack' in their own gwishy way.

I'm thinking of all the variety of ways that adults like to play - from painball to knitting. It varies, but having someone to play with is key!

Smiles,
Grinity

I agree also, but point out that ambition comes from successfully completing 'difficult' and 'interesting' projects that they have a right to be proud of. So the unaccomidated giftie is at a disadvantage in finding situations like this at school. Some are great at setting their own goals, and some aren't. The ones that are not good at finding a place to challenge themselves especially need the help of all the adults around them - parents, teachers, friends, but every giftie deserves to be well thought about.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

My DS is 12 and I would say the GT issues are MORE noticeable in certain ways and LESS In others. For example, all kids have this burst of new academic abilities that is developmental at around this age. DS's burst was so much more than his peers that what was a bit out of sync is now painfully out of sync academically. The kids who were almost able to keep up with him are now light years behind. His thinking did this quantum leap and theirs made a nice solid increase in complexity and ability. They are now able to work on some of the complex concepts that he loves, but he is now able to conceptualize a whole new world of abstraction that will likely always be closed to them.

But on the social dimensions, school has so many more aspects now. In 3rd grade in his school ALL The kids wanted to do well academically and please their parents and teachers, and there was a lot of stress for kids who struggled with academics. Now in 6th grade, the kids are more self-reflective and trying to decide what they are good at and what they want to be good at. Some of the talented drama kids are deciding the Bs in math are ok based on the effort they are willing to put into it. So, diverging priorities make it less evident that my son is GT. The other kids see he dedicates a lot of time to schoolwork and they dedicate a lot of time to other things and everyone is ok about that. (He is in a very nurturing private school, I should add, so the level of acceptance of individual differences is high).

So, while the differences in ability are even more pronounced now than they were in the middle elementary years, it doesn't seem to be so stressful all around.