Hi,

DS, 2, enjoys hearing and saying jokes/puns/funny sayings but we have a limited repertoire, I'm looking for ones that don't have a lot of complex world experience required for understanding. I asked around at a local gathering of toddlers and their parents and that didn't work so I thought I would ask here.

Please add to the list!

So far we've found:

Why did the lady throw the butter?
She wanted to see the butterfly.

Why did the owl howl?
Because the woodpecker pecked her.

What do you call a bag/box of ducks (in the cupboard/pantry)?
Quackers.

Why did the lonely mouse put a M in the freezer?
Because it makes ice into Mice.

How does the ocean say goodbye?
It waves.
(found in slightly different format on this website, thank you un-named toddler!)

My DS added the following two:

What do you call a bad stegosaurus?
A di-no-no-saur.

What does a rooster say to scare people?
Cock-a-doodle-boo.


Polly

Cute thread.

My DS5's current favorite is:

What did the Teddy bear say when he was offered a cookie?
No thanks, I'm stuffed!

LOL. DD3 still doesn't "get" jokes. She loves them, and makes them up, but the ones she makes up don't make any sense, so I'm pretty sure she just likes the concept of saying something that makes people laugh. Super cute that your kid is already making up his own jokes.

Oh, and DD has a book of knock-knock jokes that MIL sent her, and it is FULL of jokes like the ones you list. So you might look around for a simple joke book.

I'm going to print those and surprise my kids in their lunch boxes thanks

OK, maybe not as appropriate, but my DS's favorite joke a few years ago was:

How do you scare a bee?
You say "Boo, bee!"

And not a knock-knock, but an old family favorite:

Inch-me and Pinch-me went down to the river. Inch-me fell in, so who was left? (correct answer followed by gentle pinching)

Pete and Repeat went down to the river. Pete fell in, so who was left? [Repeat.] Pete and Repeat went down to the river. Pete fell in.....etc.

Virtually all of DSs many attempts fall flat, such as:

Why did the bird eat the other seed?
Because he went the wrong way. (much giggling)

I sit there wondering if I'm missing some deep insight until I conclude, no, that despite him repeating the "joke" 10 times it still doesn't actually fall in the category of humorous. I wonder if in his head he sees some image that's funny? I don't know why he giggles.

Polly

Those ones above are great.

Polly

You are not alone! My DS5 tells jokes all the time that decidedly unfunny. Today, he told me this knock-knock:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Duh.
Duh who?
Du-uck. (followed by giggles).

Hilarious.

This is a favorite activity in our home too. Now our 19 month old gets in on the action by repeating knock knock jokes with varying levels of success. I swear that I say "who's there" at least 100 times a day! Oh well . . . better laughing than crying!

Knock, Knock.
Who's There?
Boo
Boo who?
Don't cry, it is only a joke.

Knock, Knock.
Who's There?
Atch
Atch who?
Bless you!

Knock, Knock.
Who's There?
Tuba
Tuba who?
Tuba-toothpaste!

For slightly older kids:
What do you call a sick eagle? Ill-eagle!

What do you call a chicken from outer space? An egg-straterrestrial!

Why did Mozart not like chickens? All they ever say is "Bach Bach"

Where does a Triceratops sit? On his tricera-bottom!

Who takes care of baby volcanos? Their mag-MAs.

How do you cross Crater Lake? In a vol-canoe!

Why did the volcano not eat dinner? His plates were broken!

Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide

Thanks, folks! Have a good night . . . Don't forget to tip your servers . . .

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A: Because it was feeling crummy

and of course...

our favorite knock knock joke where the "who" is "interrupting cow". The joke is to yell "Moo!!" before the other person can finish saying "Interrupting cow who?"

The best part is that the joke can be recycled with interrupting chicken...interrupting duck....interrupting goat...

A barn yard worth of laughs!

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9 (7 ate 9).

Or my son's favorite way to tell it:

DS: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 10
Someone older always asks: Hey, what happened to 9?
DS: 7 8 9!

Or 2 4 6 8 12 (what about 10? 6 8 10!), or 10 9 8 6 5 4..., you get the idea.

Love this post :-) Ds6 is much the same way with jokes that he thinks are hysterical and I just kind of sit there wondering did I miss the whole thing or what? Gotta tell you though...I shared St. Pauli Girl's and Polly's jokes and he thought they were hilarious - maybe they know something we don't?

hee hee.

what did the turkey say when he twisted his leg?
hobble hobble


pa-dum-pum.

LOL, those are totally like my DS5's jokes. He gets a couple from joke books that he remembers right...but he makes a lot of knock knock jokes up like that, and others as well. I really just don't get them, but it's like they almost make sense and almost are funny.

DD2 wants to get in on the fun so she often says "knock knock (pause) banana" She tries...and she's so cute you have to laugh.

The visual thing creeps in a lot.

Mr W has been learning all the referee arm signals for American Football.

I.e, first down, incomplete, offsides, etc.

The first one he learned was Touchdown.

This weekend, we asked him to do touchdown, and instead of lifting his hands over his head, he squatted down and touched the floor.

Then he laughed hysterically.

he sound like a cutie

Harpo used to trade jokes by mail with Frenchie's best friend; he loved getting mail, and it was fun to hear all the jokes! Maybe you can find a joke penpal too? Sounds like you've all got some hilarious kids!!

Knock knock...
Who's there?
Isabel.
Isabel who?
Isabel necessary on a bicycle?

Austin, that's a punny guy you've got there!

peace
minnie

And Polly and pauli, we have had some of those not-making-sense jokes too--don't you find that they actually seem funny (in a weird sort of way!) after a while because the kids think they're so hilarious?

Groucho's old favourite from when he was about three:

Knock, knock...
Who's there?
Flower Lady.
Flower Lady who?
SSSSTTTT--Lock her up in jail! (accompanied by much pantomime)

Who the heck knows what that one was about, but everybody around here just rolled around on the floor every one of the several million times we heard that joke, to the point where Frenchie and I also found it amusing...go figure.

Happy laughing, everyone!

mm

Wolf's first joke (around 2 yrs) "The apple says MOO!"

Bear's first joke (a bit before 2 yrs) "I eat my shoe!!!" followed by much laughing...

So, I put the "I'm stuffed" teddy bear joke in DS's lunch the other day, and he requested more jokes in his lunch. I was rushing today, and all I could think of was "What's black and white and red all over? A dead skunk." I hope he doesn't read it to anyone else!

LOL! Here are a few to get you through lunchtime until you get to the library for a joke book . . .

Q: What Egyptian queen liked spaghetti?
A: Cleopasta

Q: What one-horned animal asks questions?
A: A why-nocerous

Q: What do you call an overactive snake?
A: A hyper viper

Q: How did the lamb go into outer space?
A: On a rocket sheep

These are all from the book: "The Silliest Joke Book Ever" by Victoria Hartman. We just got it from the library. (I don't love it though- a lot of the jokes are hard for my DS to understand because of weird,jargon-y plays on words.)

Why thank you! DS will especially love the why-nocerous joke. And you put them in such a lovely format, I can just print and cut them out. And you reminded me that we do have a pun and joke book somewhere about. I'll go on a search.

This is too funny. Yday DS7 told this one and DD3 just rolled laughing the whole way home repeating it over and over...

Knock knock
Who's there
Cow
Cow who?
No Owls who Cows moo.

And...
Why do the birds fly south for the winter?


Because it is too far to walk.

And...
Why did the chicken cross the playground?


To get to the other slide.

Ha ha ha! Love 'em all! Plus maybe these will add a little diversity into our current comedic repertoire . . . (The same knock knock jokes get REALLY old!)