Hi,

I am very, very, very belatedly making a decision on which kindergarten program to send my 2E (ADHD with anxiety issues), fantastic almost 6 year old to. He has proven to be HIGHLY reactive to the learning environment. Poor placement has lead to "clinically significant levels of anxiety and depression) and good placement has had the opposite effect.

Now that he is entering K, I need to choose between the two options:

Option 1: Regular public kindergarten in our very good district. About 20 kids. Half day, 2 1/2 hour program. Of the 2 1/2 hours two hours is spent on "academics" and only 1/2 hour is either library or PE. No additional support, only in-class "differentiation." The teacher is brand new, only 1 or 2 years of experience.

Option 2: Small, private Lutheran school. All day program, so more opportunity for play, socialization, etc. Only 8 students (all boys). If DDS needs it, the school recommended that he could take reading and/or math with the 1st graders.

The private school is about $5,000. Public is free. My greatest concern is if 2 hours of academics going over stuff my guy learned through osmosis 2 years ago, will he be "spinning his wheels?" I worry about him becoming depressed, anxious and turned off to school. My thought is the all-day program would provide more opportunity to do the stuff he needs.... play with other kids, learn self-confidence, work out problems, enjoy larger projects.

Any thoughts????

Laura

The big question - can you afford the $5000? How much afterschool enrichment could you afford if you don't spend the $5000 on private school, and would you actually spend it on that?

If he learned K material 2 years ago, then the small private is still going to be 2 years beneath his instructional level, with the first grade SSAs 1 year below. How many hours will he spend on mastered academic material in the all-day program?

I would agree that meeting school families and teachers is key. Also, can you get out of most of the $5000 if you find it's not a good fit a month into the year?

What exactly is "all day?" And how much time would he spent outside/with free play/doing arts/craft/PE/projects?

2 hours of academics for 20 kids is almost nothing...he wouldn't learn much, even if they tried to differentiate for him, nor would it probably bother him much. Can you supplement play/outside exercise/arts/crafts easily yourself?

I find that no matter whether you rely on a school or on enrichment, the hardest thing to create is a congenial peer group for our kids to connect with. In which program do you feel creating a peer group would be easiest? Public school with way more control of extracurricular time and activities, and opportunities to find a fit with enrichment with kids who fit, or private school with very little control, since he may be "done" at the end of the school day and need nothing but unstructured down time, hoping that the some of the kids in the school happen to be a fit?

We have had a good experience with a parochial school where giftedness, on the side of both teachers and kids, was accepted, not just tolerated or, worst case rejected - which didn't exactly translate into meaningful differentiation or more that a halfhearted attempt at SSA - but which meant that DS, while he had a lot of struggles finding his feet socially and finding ways not to wither with ennui, was not rejected or bullied or treated badly by any teacher, always felt part of the group and always had friends. A general ethos of learning and fairly high standards meant that while he was certainly never stretched or challenged, he actually learnt quite a lot.

If you can afford the tuition easily, I'd try it out. At least he is the kind of kid who will let you know quickly if it doesn't work out, and public school is always there.

Edited to add that I'd try to find out from each school how they'd view a full grade skip further down the road, just in case...

This begins to bring to mind previous discussion threads in which parents found that it was preferable for a child to be challenged and learning during the school day, rather than bored during school and overbooked with enrichment activities during evenings and weekends.

Because the right "fit" is exceedingly important for your particular child, articles from the Davidson Database such as Choosing the right school for your gifted child may be of interest.

Thanks, everyone for your thoughts. I appreciate it.

I spent a fair amount of time at the parochial school today talking with the teacher. Also, spoke with the principal at the public school (they won't let you talk to the teacher).

I'm opting for the parochial school. My gut tells me the "differential" at the public school is nothing more than that assigning kids to levels in reading and math. The parochial teacher has more flexibility and interest it seems in genuinely meeting him where he is at.

Also, I think at this age there is alot of value to a loving, nurturing environment with more playtime and time spent outside.

Hopefully I made the right choice.... Just want the kiddo to be happy.

THANKS!!!

8 children per teacher is a great ratio. I would be willing to pay $5,000 a year for that. On the other hand, 8 is a small group and if everyone else bonds with each other but your DS doesn't then it can be a very lonely experience.

As Tigerle wrote above, you can always give it a try and regroup later if it doesn't work out.

Wishing your DS a fantastic kindergarten year.

The public school sounds like it will be a complete waste of time, quite honestly. The private school might be Ok for some of your goals, but the academic part would still be a waste of time. Is it a possibility to do just part of the day at the private school? For instance, skip the reading/math academic part if he has already mastered the material? Maybe they would adjust your tuition accordingly?

We just signed my 5.5 year old for a scarily expensive private school versus the public school. We also spoke with the principal of the public school who really gave us little to no hope that she would receive much differentiation. We basically got a lot of 'nod and smile' with her. I felt like we would basically be putting her in public school as a babysitting and 'learn to sit still' training. The private school we chose will have only SIX kids in her class and every child has their own educational plan. My daughter is pretty heavily advanced for her age (reads easily at a 5th/6th grade level as well as being advanced in many other areas) so I just felt like public school was going to be a major fight and she'd constantly get in trouble because she'd be so bored. I am incredibly excited and happy to spend the money, even if it means a lifestyle change for us.. her having that personalized education from the get go is worth it to us. Good luck and I hope he loves it!

Might be worth asking but as you child would still be taking a full place I would expect to play full tuition.