I've posted a few times in the identification and testing forum, but I haven't yet in the general discussion forum. I have several amazing kids, and my oldest 2 are close in age. DD1 has always "shone" in terms of her abilities, and was identified as GT by our former school district at age 4. She is now 10, and has been very successful in school...teachers love her, she is a quick learner, and she not only gets straight A's, but high A's consistently. She has participated in the GT program which currently means she attends a different school one day a week. She loves it and thrives there. DD2 has always been in her sister's shadow. She is almost the complete opposite of her. Very very quiet, does not always do her best work, gets straight A's, but some are borderline and recently received her first B, and teachers consistently do not "get her". Her current teacher actually told me "I've never had this dynamic with a student before". In spite of all of this, I have always thought that DD2 was gifted, and have advocated on her behalf since kinder (she is now 8 and in 3rd grade). Her scores on the Cogat and wisc had been borderline (although her nonverbal on the Cogat was always higher than 130), and our district is very strict about the 130 cut off.

Fast forward to today. Our district administers the Cogat to most elementary students whether you are already identified as GT or not. Both girls scored higher than 145 on a section, so the district gave both an IQ test. I was expecting them to both do well...however my oldest scored lower than I expected (FSIQ around 130) and the youngest scored much higher than I expected (FSIQ higher than 150). I was and am in shock. We decided to do private testing for the oldest, and she took the SB. Her results were close to the school score with a FSIQ in the 130's.

I am happy for my younger daughter that she scored so high, and I have always known that she was gifted. But it's just shocking that she's that much higher than her sister (who I always thought might be highly gifted). Her teachers are shocked because they can't get my daughter to open up and communicate with them well, so they don't always know what she is thinking or if she understands the concepts they are teaching. I think they are having a hard time believing that this quiet, non communicative person is highly gifted.

We now have the option to apply for the highly gifted school in our district. It is a lottery, but even if she does not get picked, she will now be able to attend the regular GT program like her sister.

If anyone has any suggestions on things to read that might be beneficial resources to pass along to her future teachers please let me know. EVERY year her teachers have told us how difficult it is to know what's going on in her head. Also resources on intense, sensitive, sensory, GT kids would be great too. I've already read "raising your spirited child" because all of my children are strong willed. What other books would you suggest? Thank you for listening and allowing me to vent a little.

I'd recommend reading the book "Quiet" by Susan Cain to understand that aspect of her personality (and how it might be playing out in schools that are trending toward requiring extroverted behaviors as a norm). Susan also has a website called "Quiet Revolution," if you want a quick read (http://www.quietrev.com/).

Wondering if your daughter may fit better with the teachers in the GT program than her current teachers.

I do not have any advice, but I do thank you for sharing your story. Honestly, reading this kind of story is exactly what I think might get through to some teachers that there is more than meets the eye.

Thanks for sharing the story. It really underscores the benefit of professional testing and getting an independent assessment. I think at the ages you mention scores are considered stable and reliable.

Depending on the test and scores you may be able to qualify your child for DYS and gain access additional resources that way.

I'm probably not the best to explain this. But this reminds me of something that's often illustrated here is kid who do the best at school, get good top grades are often NOT the most gifted. High Performing kids with straight A's are often kids with high-average IQ's and often don't even test in the gifted range. Many High gifted kids don't fit into school/class very well and their grades don't reflex their ability.

Do you have any of the same issues going on at home? It's most likely nothing, but some of what you describe sounds like there's a possibility of a 2e issue with expressive language. It's possible your dd isn't sharing what's in her head due to boredom or not caring to or whatever, but the things I've quoted above are issues we had with our EG ds, each of which, in his case, was related to difficulty with expresssive language - which *isn't* a skill assessed on a typical WISC/SB/etc ability test.

Re potentially sending your children to different schools - we're in the same situation, and were told when our children were in elementary school that the way to explain it to our children was that each child is going to the school where there needs are best met, and that everyone has a different set of strengths and needs. We didn't actually ever use that rationale because we chose not to pursue going to the HG school at that time, but our ds did enter the HG program later on, and the way we have dealt with it now, as teens, is very similar. DS chose to go to the HG program, test scores were required, he had them. We encouraged dd who wouldn't qualify to look into other programs that were nice fits for her particular sets of interest, she found a program she loved and all is well. We haven't, however, shared IQ scores - ever, with either. DS knows his percentile range, but that's it. One of the things that quite honestly turned me off re our district's HG program were parents who bragged about their childrens' IQs (might not happen other places but it was happening here at that time)... quite honestly, I believe that attitude and motivation as far if not farther in life than extreme ability, and I wanted my children to be in a school where all students were valued. I have no doubt my ds would have found value in attending the HG school in elementary, but the flip side of that is he didn't ultimately really lose out by not attending it - he had other types of experiences which were not the same, but were equally valuable. If you're really worried about the two different schools and the impact on your dds, it's possible to consider opting out of the HG school. (And I totally realize this sounds very non-DYS... please know I truly believe in offering our children the chance to be with peers and to have learning at the pace they are ready for... however... sometimes there are other factors that are also important to consider).

Best wishes,

polarbear

I think this is true for a significant subset of HG+ kids... although I also think it's probably not true in as large proportions as one would see here on public forums, simply because the parents of the HG+ kids who are sailing along smoothly probably aren't looking for answers online!

polarbear

Yes, I do think many GT children could be missed by school districts. Private testing is the way to go in terms of getting an accurate assessment. I do understand why school districts use the Cogat (it's a decent screening tool), but it's not an accurate measure of IQ. I am thankful that our district is very GT friendly, and administers IQ tests (but only if the Cogat is high...so there again, some children could be missed). Both my girls have had private testing done too. We had to do private testing for peace of mind that we were not missing something.

Thank you for your thoughts on this Polarbear. Yes, we have often wondered if some other things were going on with DD2. I am actually in the process of scheduling a psychology appt for DD2 because a physical therapist we used for an unrelated orthopedic issue took note that DD2 was displaying some sensory seeking behavior. In addition, we've had some interesting conferences with her teachers this year about communication, so I know we need to help her. I've had these types of teacher interactions since she was 2!! I remember thinking as a toddler that DD2 was so misunderstood, and I still feel that way. She often comes across as having a "flat affect" and no expression at school with teachers, but then when she gets home, the flood gates open and she will sob over whatever the issue of the day was. She is not a trouble maker at school, she is just very very quiet and hard to read. What is so funny though is she has the most intense and sometimes explosive emotions at home where she is comfortable. All of my kids are very intense little people actually, so there's a lot of drama over here 😳😁. But DD2 is probably the most sensitive of them. Thanks so much for your feedback. I really and truly appreciate it!

Your description of your younger DD reminds me of myself in elementary school. I figured out early on that the academics at my school didn't interest me, so I coasted along under the radar. I didn't participate in class because the level of discussion felt at best boring and at times insulting. I lived inside my head at school, and then would go home and become much more expressive (in both positive and negative ways). And, I also lived in the shadow of an older sister who was a teacher's ideal student.

I don't have book suggestions, but in my experience I desperately needed a mental challenge. I would seek that for your DD in whatever way possible - If the gifted program doesn't meet her needs, then maybe she can participate in math contests, learn chess or programming, etc. And if you can find one mentor who can take an interest and speak to her on the right level, that would likely encourage her to open up and be more expressive.

My gifted one can best be described as a clam. But like your #2, mine scores very, very high. She is just not a people pleaser like her older sister is. Older one is more of a golden retriever type, and younger is "the cat behind the couch". They are older now (26 and 21), and those traits pretty much have defined them their whole lives. You can't really get the clam out of their shell unless they want to come out -- mine was most tempted by intellectual opportunities. Davidson THINK was one the best things that ever happened to her.