Where do you draw the line if your DC wants to participate in too many and/or too high level competitions?

I am talking about math competitions in particular but the question applies to other types of competitions as well. By "too high level," I am talking about competitions where your DC can likely manage to score respectably (say, top quarter or even top 10%) but not at the awards level. DS11 has expressed interest in participating in a number of local/regional high school level math competitions in addition to AMC10, in which he will participate again this year. My initial plan would have been to wait until he is actually competitive so he has a real shot at the prizes or a year or two prior. However, I have agreed to one local one for next fall due to the significant prizes attached and the idea that practice/experience can be helpful down the road. Now there are other ones, including one next month that we will need to decide soon.

My 2 cents: Go for it.

If a kiddo enjoys math competitions (or wants to try them to see if he'd like them), I'd focus on the positive benefits of the experience and caution against being overly concerned about awards and prizes.

Carol Dweck's Mindset encourages praising effort, talking up the fun of the mental challenge worthy of one's potential, encouraging a growth mindset.

One aspect or application of a fixed mindset is that gifted kids, in order to be seen as "right" or "smart", may stop taking appropriate risks, possibly shunning a challenge and preferring easy work which may represent a level of underachievement. A fixed mindset may work against them and be exhibited as a lack of resilience.

I agree with indigo. It's great for him to take on difficult challenges, instead of only the ones you know he can win.

In addition, I remember I used to get so outraged at my mother planning for what to do if I failed. In fact, I'm not sure I ever did really fail, but it drove me nuts that I would try a competition or something and all she could think about was how I would react if I didn't do as well as I wanted to. Don't set him up with unreasonable expectations, but don't tell him he can't do well at high-level competition, either. He might surprise you.

I can't see anything against him taking the AMC10 if he wants? There doesn't seem to be any rules of how many times you can take the test, you just have to be at most a 10th grade student. I am sure practice helps at taking tests like this.

What about the AMC8? (What is his grade level?) Has he done that already? I assume he is looking at the AMC10 because he already has algebra & geometry behind him? (OK.. I just re-read your message.. he has already done the ACM10.. for get this.)

I would take it on a case by case basis. I guess the trick is you don't want him to burn out or get discouraged if he tries them too early. But if he is excited and willing and doesn't get in the way of other activities I see nothing wrong with letting him participate. I would just make sure he knows before going in that he is competing against much older students.

If he wants to do it, then why not? Life is not all about awards. My son understands that the experience of learning and acquiring knowledge is its own reward. Prizes are nice, but not essential. It's a good life lesson to learn how to lose gracefully too.

My goodness, I am your mother.

In our house DD wanting to enter a competition where she wasn't sure of winning would be cause for celebration! We'd be thrilled and encourage her to do her best and go for it. And whether she kicked butt or lost with style, we would be so happy and proud.

I would only draw the line based on what we can afford in expense as a family, or based on what my children can afford in time away from other things. OTOH, we don't look at the purpose of the competitions as going for the gold - my kids like to compete to be challenged. Life would be a bit boring if you only entered a competition when you knew you would win, wouldn't it?

I realize my family's mindset isn't lock-step with a lot of folks - we knock heads on this a lot with my dd who is involved in competitive individual athletics - she wants to compete at the level where she's challenged, her coaches want her to compete at the level where she'll never miss a beat and will always place high. The coaches see sport as being all about the win, and dd quite simply could care less about getting first place. It's fun for her for about 30 seconds when she is in the process of having her name called for the award, but then it's over. She's much happier coming in middle of the road or even absolute last if it means she's able to compete at a level where she feels challenged, and I'm a-ok with that.

polarbear

What they all say. Also, for an annual competition they'll have the chance to enter again, my feeling is that the award will be more valuable when it comes, if it comes after earlier experience of not being at that level. If you only ever do things you'll ace, it's hard to have a sense of progress.

I would not disallow this due to worry about the child being bothered by not winning. I would just explain that the competition will be stiff. Research suggests that kids are generally a lot less invested in winning than we think, and have other reasons for competing.

However, the stress and expense for the family are certainly a factor. We're dealing with this issue with chess and my DS.

I think the key word is "wants." Since this is your DS's choice, I'd let him participate as long as he seems to handle it well. We offer the AMC 10, and we have more seventh graders taking the contest than students in other grades (45% 7th graders, 36% 8th graders, the remaining 19% split evenly between 9th and 10th graders.) One of the reasons we started offering math competitions is to offer gifted students the chance to really challenge themselves. Challenging competitions have helped my DD with her perfectionism. When she does do really well, she's truly proud of herself because she actually had to try.

This.

We haven't had that issue with competitions, but we have with extracurricular activities, because DD is interested in practically everything.

My only rule for DS is that he can enter as many competitions as he likes if he is able to give it his best (effort and time) and if it does not mess up with his extracurriculars (like music, sports etc to which he has made commitments).

He is turning out to be an aggressive competitor and seems to take winning for granted, so I encourage him to enter competitions that are too high in level for him in order for him to see what other kids are able to do and to experience losing so that he can learn that competitions are about learning and not about medals.

My opinion is that if your son has time for the competition and is willing to put in the work needed, go for it.

Go for it.

My ds in 6th grade just turned 12 and is going to try the AMC 10 this year.
He understands there are question he will not know how to solve.

Thanks, everyone! It always clarifies the considerations for me to read other people's thoughts. I think all the posts combined have covered all the salient issues, even if only a couple actually applied to our situation at the current time.

DS is actually not afraid of losing/performing poorly or he wouldn't have taken AMC10 last year. That request came out of the blue and surprised me at the time, but ultimately I was happy to oblige him and am glad that he wants to participate again this year. However, I am concerned with DS potentially burning out and not wanting to participate in some of these competitions when/if he finally becomes competitive in a few years. I am also not so much obsessed with winning as a criteria for participation, but a strong performance has to be one of many considerations for DS' participation because I have three children, including one with special needs, and unfortunately DS' participation generally requires many hours of my own time. Then there is the issue of all his other commitments and making sure he has plenty of free time left over. I suppose that I would be more inclined to encourage his participation if I see him making efforts to improve his skills. Unfortunately, he is hardly prepping for these competitions so the only benefit is participating in the competitions, which may not be insignificant but again there are many considerations to weigh.

By the way, I do agree that a sense of progress can be invaluable in itself, which is only achievable if you try these competition before you are at the optimal skill level.

The best bang for the buck, for us at this time IMO are the mock Mathcounts competitions. 3 totally different types of test are given then almost always have a small break to relax visit eat some pizza. Then get back together and go over the solutions.

It does take some time but are well worth it.

We may try to get a mathcounts team started at DS/DD's middle school next year so that DS will have the experience of competing with a team.

Top 10℅ sounds perfect. If he wants to do it he has to work but if he does work winning shouldn't matter. Are you sure though he isn't avoiding preparation so he has an out if he doesn't do as well as he wants?

Well, I can't ever be sure of the motivation deep within someone's heart, but I think not, at least as far as these math competitions since he doesn't care that much. It's more a matter of all the other things that are more enjoyable like gobbling new books or playing Minecraft online with all his friends for hours on end.