Given the school battles I have seen discussed here, I could see how this could happen...

http://www.texasmonthly.com/daily-p...-who-was-suspended-refusing-shake-school

WOW.. That is completely ridiculous. I hope the parents have the ability to move that kid out of the district or to a private school. A ten day suspension at the beginning of the year that keeps him out of the honors classes for not shaking his hand? Sounds like that principal has an AX to grind, and that there is history here. If it's really between the principal and the parents like it's implied here, why are they taking it out on the kid. What crazy judge upholds this decision.

Looks like a big power trip on the part of the school administration. They were fed up with the family (the parents probably had to advocate all the time to get the kid's needs met) and the school looked for any chance at retaliation. So now the kid doesn't get to take honors courses even though he was valedictorian? Good grief.

In a town of just 652 people, which the article mentions - this does sound like it is more of a personal issue between the family and the specific members of the school. Without being involved in either side of the story, with its slant towards the family, it does sound more like a power struggle with the school district and using the child in retaliation. However, as I mentioned, we don't know what is going on with the parents and the school district and as with all news story, there is always going to be a bias one way or another.

One thing I would say - even if/when my parents had a dispute with the school or teachers (and I had IEPs from kindergarden to when I graduated high school), there was one thing they made VERY clear to me. Regardless of the issues with the school and their feelings, I was not to use that to disrespect an authority figure including the school administration. Even if I felt that a teacher was wrong or did not treat me well, it did not excuse me to behave poorly against that teacher - they made that very clear to me and I got punished when I did act out against a teacher, even though they agreed that the teacher was not completely right either - they took care of that issue separately.

I guess this brings up a question as to why our society has a big hag up on 'disrespect an authority figure'. And what it means, this is a social minefield for me and I suspect my son. I personally believe that it is healthy for our society for us to question authority and dislike teaching kids that teahers/principals are alway right. Although I do admit there is a time and place.

When my son was in 6th grade and still in elementary he had a lot of problems with the playground rules. He thought a lot of them were stupid, and I kind of thought he had a point. (We are not talking about safety rules, but how games were to be played and such.) My son & I ended up having a discussion that he had to follow the rules and listen to the volunteer playground monitors. But he could take up his issues with the rules with his teacher and/or the principal at a different time.

Mom uses child to insult superintendent, superintendent punishes child to get back at parent. Adults are so childish.

ETA: I'm surprised the parents didn't successfully take the district to the mat over the issue of denying the honors courses to the valedictorian. An appropriate education is not a privilege.

It is one thing to question authority and to understand that there is no one person (teacher, coach, president, parent) who is infallible - and it is another to be insulting on a public stage.

I agree with dude that adults can be childish, and it is sad when they use a child as a pawn.

If my child were in this ceremony, I know that I would not appreciate a family using the graduation celebration of my child to express their personal issues like this. Just as I would be very angry if my high school or college graduation ceremonies were marred by people who use it as a platform for whatever ax they want to grind, instead of celebrating *everyone's* accomplishments that is being marked by the ceremony.

but... it should not be used to impact the child's education. He learns nothing from this, and it only shows excessive abuse of power by the school district.

What happened is that the authority figure grabbed the hand of a minor kid against the kid's will in a public place with witnesses. That constitutes assault. I would never be OK with a person my kid does not like forcing physical contact with him. How do these guys get the time to run schools if they spend so much time on writing letters to 8th graders and going to court over something that should not have happened. And, something is not right with that judge - this is the land of the free and if a kid refuses physical contact with someone, his rights should be upheld.

If it were my kid, I would be suing the Superintendent for physically assaulting and harassing and traumatizing my child. That would put the principal and the superintendent in their place.

It sounds like that was the reaction of the mom, and it didn't. The adults involved got a stern talking-to from the judge, but the punishments for the child still stand.

Why is it okay for an adult to deny contact with someone but not a child?

This article provides more information.
http://www.thedenverchannel.com/new...for-not-shaking-superintendents_95850757

Quite frankly - if the child did not want to shake the hand of the people handing the certificates, why did he participate? Shaking hands is not assault - and as a mother, I would 1) never instruct my child (as it appears from the second article, she did) to be disrespectful at a public ceremony over a personal issue and 2) be very disappointed if my child perform what I consider a selfish act of "making a point" especially since this child was a valedictorian and presumed leader of his peers at a graduation ceremony, and shaking hands as the certificates are handed out is a part of the ceremony. It was not like he did not know (or the mother did not know) that shaking hands was a part of the process. And this is where I can see the influences of my parents, who did not grow up in the US but in cultures that values showing respect in situations like this such that I can not fathom this mother's behavior.

Actually, there are usually consequences for actions like this even for adults. If I deny to shake hands with the president of the company as he hands out team award to my team, I doubt I will have a job at that company long after that, especially if it happens at a company-wide event. So - yes, child denied contact - but he and his parents should expect there would be consequences. It is like that in the corporate world. And I am sure it is like that in other environments. And I understand that is what the judge who ruled against the family is stating.

There are better and more subtle pranks too. Like having each kid give a marble to the principal or something as they shake hands (though this only works if the principal has a sense of humor).

I would be curious to know why the student and his sister felt "harassed". There is more to this story, I think.

One possibility is that they were in fact being harassed. If so then the student was exercising his own free speech and not merely acting as a pawn. (It is impossible for the judge to legitimately conclude the student was merely acting as a pawn. How could he possibly know that?)

You certainly don't owe respect to authority figures who harass you. Some comments to the articles suggest the superintendent had a grudge against the mother and had been taking it out on the kids. What's clear is that there's a lot of nasty small town politics in this, and we can't know the whole truth, and probably shouldn't bother trying. And in all sized towns, there are a lot of idiots and jerks running schools, which is the real lesson in all of this.

There is one important difference though. In the corporate world, you work for the President. When it comes to schools, they work for you.

Completely ridiculous IMO. If the school was trying to make a point, I believe they make themselves look petty. This is something you just let go, but instead they are in the news over a handshake. Waste of everyone's time.

Uhhhhh---wow.

As the parent of a child who very well COULD have a decent reason to avoid physical contact with another person in such a setting* I find it horrifying that the district would do such a thing. Of course, my own child would probably never, ever, EVER make it a "point" to do it publicly and overtly, as seems to have been the case here. Her reasons aren't about personal hard feelings or indignation toward those in positions of authority. She knows how to avoid shaking hands without seeming disrespectful because this is a major life skill for her.



I have to conclude that this is all the result of a MASSIVE escalation of issues that may have only tangentially involved the student-- seems like parents and administrators are the ones with axes to grind. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but that's sure what it smacks of to me. I'm pretty familiar with what escalation looks like and when it becomes about "winning" rather than your kid. As a 2e parent, you always have to keep those things in mind as you respond/engage with others.

* No, really-- it's possible that this is the exact kind of contact that nearly killed her at her own 8th grade graduation. We've never figured out exactly what happened there, but it's as plausible an explanation as I have.

I think it's fairly known and respected that in a graduation ceremony, the graduate shakes hands with one or more authority figures who are bestowing the honors. If they have a legitimate (2E-type) reason to not shake hands, then could have been arranged for privately ahead of time. Consequently, I don't believe there's any reason to refuse publicly to shake one person's hand, than to make a point.

That said, I don't really understand how the court could possibly uphold the obviously excessively extreme punishments heaped on him. Also, the kid is in 8th grade--so probably 14?--so I don't see why a minor of 14 should be punished for "communicating the position" of his adult parent rather than his own.

I think the not being able to take honours courses is unfair as I don't think a punishment for such a thing should have such long reaching consequence. Not being able to run for office or play football for two weeks seems fair but ten days suspension is a lot longer than any here.

The child was rude. He could have shaken the guys hand while giving him no doubt about his feeling without being openly rude. He shook hands with the principal so it wasn't 2e type issues.

He made a point, the school made their point. Maybe everyone learnt from the experience. And maybe not.

I think that the punishment is 'cruel and unusual' because denying a kid that can obviously do the work access to honours classes is disgraceful.

According to the article, the child made statements ahead of time (premeditation) to a teacher in which he said he would be in trouble with his parents (pawn) if he shook the superintendent's hand.