Dealing with emotions? - Gifted Issues Discussion Forum

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How do you deal with other people bullying or just looking down on you? Or how do you deal with persistent negative emotions in general? Do you have a way of viewing these situations that brings peace of mind?

Looking for "gifted" repliers since I've read over a dozen articles by now only repeating the same information. Although practical, the conventional advice like simply not caring doesn't always work without an underlying understanding or possibly just a calmer mind.

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How do you deal with other people bullying or just looking down on you?... Looking for "gifted" repliers since I've read over a dozen articles by now only repeating the same information. Although practical, the conventional advice like simply not caring doesn't always work without an underlying understanding or possibly just a calmer mind.

There are many insightful books/articles on bullying which may help with this; Experts distill many experiences into advice. Every situation is different. Here are a few links:

Davidson Database - How to help keep your kid from being bullied:
http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10335.aspx

Hoagies Gifted Education Page - Bullies and Bullying: http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/bullies.htm

SENG article - Teasing and Gifted Children: https://www.sengifted.org/archives/articles/teasing-and-gifted-children

Davidson Database - Tips for Parents: Friendship Issues of the Gifted and Talented Elementary School Child: http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10686.aspx

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Or how do you deal with persistent negative emotions in general? Do you have a way of viewing these situations that brings peace of mind?

Some people may handle negative emotions by bullying others, according this article by Mental Health America (MHA).

The book Living with Intensity gives comfort to many gifted people as they learn they are not alone in the intensity of their perceptions and responses.

Lots of good topics dealing with social/emotional and interpersonal issues have been covered by well-known psychologists specializing in gifted kids. Their work is available in books through Great Potential Press, Prufrock Press, and free spirit publishing*. Magination Press, imprint of American Psychological Association (APA), also offers children's books which may be of interest.

*Interested readers may wish to make note of the "Words Wound" student video contest closing April 15, 2014.

The US Department of Health and Human Services also provides a website about bullying, StopBullying.gov. Part of the definition of bullying is that it "involves a real or perceived power imbalance".

This may also occur in the workplace. CDC offers a webpage on this. Here is a website which agrees with the OP that certain advice "like simply not caring" is not helpful:

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... advise the target to "get over it," "deal with it," "get a tougher skin," or offer any number of other equally useless and condescending remarks. - See more at: http://workplacebullyinghelp.com/stages-of-workplace-bullying.html

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For example, bullies will mock some feature or perceived flaw like someone's weight, height, accent, stutter or mannerisms. Imitating someone, or making a disparaging remark occasionally with the target in on the joke and laughing at themselves is one thing�repeatedly doing it after it is obvious that it is hurtful is quite another and is one of the tactics employed by bullies. Then they always have the cover of saying of the target, "they can't take a joke," or "they are too sensitive." In this way the target is slowly but surely made out to be a humorless, touchy, malcontented weirdo. - See more at: http://workplacebullyinghelp.com/mobbing-its-course-over-time.html

When advocacy goes awry, students may perceive retaliation and parents may similarly feel bullied by school officials, concerned that their children may be pushed out of school. A type of co-dependency may develop as families try desperately to make a poor relationship work.

There are many facets to dealing with bullying and negative emotions, depending upon the context in which it is occurring, and what the precipitating events may have been. Healing is important.