There's this story in the news about an 8-year-old boy who crashed his mom's car, killing his 6-year-old sister, when they went driving after the mom had put them both to bed.

I am amazed at how many people are jumping in and saying that she should not have had the car keys where the kids could get them. It would never occur to me that my kids (even at 10, much less 8 and 6) would go driving in the middle of the night just because the keys were on the counter. I don't know anyone who hides car keys from children on the off chance that they might steal the car and die.

Even teenagers -- if you have to hide the keys to keep them from taking your car when they've been told no, you have a bigger problem.

Am I crazy? Or, more to the point, am I wrong?

Um, no, you are not crazy or wrong. What a sad sad story.

I think you're correct.

Related question: do you hide your medicine cabinet keys from similarly-aged children? Our medicine cabinet key is kept on top of the cabinet, a relic of the days when that was definitely enough to keep drugs and young child separate. But now DS could certainly get and use the key if he wanted it, and I wonder if I should be doing something else with it. (But what? If I kept it on my keyring this wouldn't help unless I hid that, just as for the car case.) Having been a depressed teen, though, I think there's something to be said for better control, and would like to know what other people do.

Well, it's the internet, and trolls will troll.


I cannot answer the first question without more information, but I can answer the second with an emphatic: NO.

Whaaaat? No, I do not hide my car keys. Also, the medicine cabinet is accessible to the kids at this point. When they hit the preteen years, my painkillers (I have migraines) and anything else that seems questionable will be locked up.

My kids used to hide my car keys from me.

When he was 1, my eldest (now 13) flushed my keys. Of course, I didn't know what had happened to them. Then one day when he was 2, my neighbor rang our bell and had a very odd look on her face when I answered the door. She asked "if I'd lost some keys." Turned out they made their way to her pipes and eventually blocked them. Oh. That's why the Roto-Rooter truck has been outside all morning.

We're remodeling our kitchen, and the workers found my other lost car keys about a month ago in the back of the tea towel cabinet. They had been gone for ~7 years this time. I suspect my daughter (now 9).

These days, they just take my office supplies and hide them. Has anyone seen my scissors?

Ha! That's one way to make sure your kids don't take the car -- hide the keys in your neighbor's sewer pipes.

I haven't seen your scissors, or mine, or any working pens, pencils with lead, highlighters, markers, glue sticks (just searched the house for those last night), rechargeable batteries, flashlights with said batteries, or my sanity.

I don't even have a medicine cabinet, much less a key for one -- we have to keep all that stuff under the sink, and the child locks have been off for at least a couple of years (given that DD is 7, but I'm lazy).

I do hide my purse when my son has friends spending the night, but that's because one of them took some money from me a few years ago when we took him to state for DI. I don't tempt fate (or kids) with money anymore, but I really don't believe even he would steal my car. After the trouble he was in when he got home from DI, I don't think he would get near my money again, either, but there's no sense taking chances.

A guy in the story comments says I'm an idiot and it's just like leaving a loaded gun where the kids can get it. Umm, no, not really. Kids will pick up a gun. They are far less likely to steal a car, even if they pick up the keys. I wonder if he locks up the kitchen knives at night, and locks the bathroom so nobody can drown in the bathtub? Does he sleep in front of the door to make sure nobody leaves the house?

Insanity, pure insanity.

This is one of those things where since something horrible happened, the parent must be stupid or negligent.

Now run the story about teenagers lacking the independence they need to be successful at college and the same commenters will blast parents for being too protective and not letting their kids learn from mistakes.

Where the heck are these people even putting their car keys? In the special car key safe that we all have? Please.

Hey Nautigal, if your sanity is still missing looks like KJP has some to spare

We don't hide our car keys (I have to leave mine permanently in the front door or otherwise *I* would never be able to find them). And that's exactly what would happen if we actually did hide the keys to the car - none of the adults who needed to drive the car would be able to find them. Or if we put them where we could find them then any of our kids who was motivated enough to drive somewhere would also be motivated enough and capable enough to find the hidden keys.

I do, however, hide my chocolate. Oddly enough I can usually remember where I've hidden the chocolate

polarbear

No. We don't hide the keys ... though I now have a pepper spray on the keys so I just put it up a little higher. I told DS5 that the pepper spray is to fight off bad guys and he respects that (we have a rental property that I had been showing a lot recently all by myself thus the pepper spray). I do NOT allow either of the boys sitting behind the steering wheel. Not until they are old enough to get their own driver's license. I cringe when I see our friends posting pics on Facebook of their 3 year olds in their laps in the front seat of a car.

We don't have a medicine cabinet either. We just have all the meds in the least accessible cabinet in the kitchen and our boys don't climb cabinets, never did (another thing I don't like on FB is seeing kids sitting on the counter tops ... never did that with mine so they just don't think about climbing in the kitchen) The more serious meds are in our master bedroom bathroom and are put away out of reach. The one thing I worry sometimes is either one of them getting their hands on DS5's Epi pen. I don't want to have it put too much out of the way so it's easy to get to should we need it. At the same time I'm worried they may accidentally use it and get really hurt (especially if the medicine is administered into the wrong part of their body (like fingers or hands). But no locking it.

Kids do crazy things and no sane parent can save them from everything. I watch mine like a hawk but I can imagine hundreds of different things they could do that could get them in serious trouble while under my watch and it most certainly wouldn't be my fault. Can't prevent every accident. That said, if they ever took my car keys, they'd be grounded for life (at least initially! lol) ... if our teenager did it, he'd be packing his bags. That's how seriously we'd deal with it. They know how serious we are about certain rules and it wouldn't occur to them to even try.

If I were religious I would pray for the 8yo boy, who never thought that what did happen would happen.

It may be a good idea to tell your children, sternly, that they are never to touch the car keys, much less use them to drive the car. But it makes more sense to worry about your own driving or that of your teenagers once they are licensed than about car accidents caused by 8yo's, which are extremely rare.

Is there enough for me, too, though?

You really shouldn't have that here if you didn't bring enough to share with everyone, you know...

Absolutely true!

Polarbear, perhaps you could hide your keys with your chocolate? Unless you have one of those key safes, in which case you should hide the key to that with your chocolate.

I don't think I would tell my kids sternly never to touch the keys, much less use them to drive the car, because that would put the thought in their head that there might be some reason to do so!

[insert very rude potty-humor remark here about a location for key-storage.]

We have no car.

Everyday life presents us with many more likely risks than these sorts of remote tragedies. For instance, a few weeks ago, I was chased and threatened with bodily harm by a mentally unstable homeless man (thankfully without DS), in a safe and affluent part of town. That incident was idiosyncratic and is unlikely to change how I behave in my neighbourhood, though it was truly distressing at the time.

Also, people are known to have poor risk perception of remote events...hence the hyperbolic response by trolls on the news websites.

Yeah, I have to hide the chocolate, too.

My teenager ate an entire packet of Pim's the other day.

I also have to hide the cat food (from Mr. Kitty, not the kids ).

That's what I was thinking. Uh, anyway, am I the only lazy person who lets her kid go get things out of the car using the keys?

DD would as soon fly to Mars as start the car. I'm not worried.

Val, my middle kid DD15 would eat the cat food. She still tries a new brand once in a while.

None of mine went for the car keys. Still don't like them using nail polish or paints. Eldest, now 18, makes the biggest mess with those. I prefer that she goes for the car keys - she spills nail polish on the carpet.

Had to hide chocolate from one of our cats - one day he ate a bunch of Hershey's Kisses with Almonds (found a bunch of spit out almonds but none of the foil wrappers).

Oh dear. So there may be no hope for my DD9, who still paints the sink and the walls with nail polish. Yet her nails come out looking perfect.

My cat will steal bread, tomatoes, donuts --- anything. He jumped on someone's lap recently and tried to tip over his bowl of cereal to get at the milk!

We don’t hide the car keys. I did get in the habit of keeping the keys in my bedroom at night. My oldest DS20, was quite rebellious during his mid teen years and taking the car without permission or his license was an absolute concern.

We have a closet with a key lock in the house where we keep any alcohol, medications, air cans, and other misc. hazards. After my oldest went through his rebellion, I figured you could never assume your children won’t try things despite the many conversations. My oldest appeared to be the poster child for good behavior most of his life. At 16, he went completely awry in a matter of months. It just isn’t worth the risk to me that one of my children or one of their friends gains access to something dangerous in my house.

I completely get they can find hazards other places, but I certainly won’t make it easy in my own house.

The story referenced by OP is silly to me to blame the parents for the keys. I have older kids in the house. It would have never entered my mind to worry about keys when my oldest was 8.

I played in the car with my brothers, and nobody seemed to mind much, until they turned on the engine and the wipers came on. We knew not to do three things:

1) insert the ignition key
2) take it out of park
3) beat the horn

The keys are a red herring.

What about the 8 year old perpetrator who did this? He knew it was wrong and he knew what could happen. This is extremely abnormal behavior, and one wonders if this will be just one incident in a lifetime of antisocial conduct.

At 8? Sure, I think this kid probably has impulse control problems. He might have ADHD. He might just be a bit wild. But a lifetime of antisocial behavior? Maybe, but only because 1) he killed his sibling in a terrible accident 2) people will pass cruel judgement.

He's a child. Children do foolish, foolish things. I jumped off the roof holding an umbrella at around 8, a la Mary Poppins. (Fortunately, it WAS a low roof.)

I thought 22B was being sarcastic.

But my uncle built a roller coaster on the roof when he was 8. The kids made a big pile of leaves for him to land on. Of course, he missed it and was rendered unconscious.

This is turning out to be a great thread for people's stories.

When I was a child I was sitting in the parked car (no keys in the car) waiting for my Mom. She was standing maybe 15 feet from the car. I jumped in the drivers seat pretending to drive. I moved the car into neutral and we rolled down a hill hitting a tree. My friend in the backseat scraped his chin and my mother got the scare of her life.

I certainly don't think she was a bad parent or that I was antisocial. I was a naive foolish little kid. I had no idea I could have hurt anyone or understand the potential danger of my actions. I could have run a person over had they been in path of the car.

Reminds me of this.

No we don't hide the car keys. Maybe we would from a teen, hard to say yet. We do make sure the car is locked when parked/empty to preent death by heat stroke if a child climbs in to hide or play and can't figure out how to get back out (we also teach them to use the front doors to get out). This is a major risk where we live. A child would be dead in 10-20 mins here in summer,

I'm glad it's not just me! DD7 drives me to distraction with the stuff she paints all over the house. If it's not nail polish, it's paint, stickers, markers, you name it. And having gotten in trouble so many times seems not to even phase her -- the next time she has any object of housely destruction in her hand, off she goes.

But her nails look pretty good, too.

As the mom of a DS who has insisted on reading the official DMV manual since he was 5 (he's now 6.5), and who has had an abiding interest in all things that have a gauge...including the speedometer on my car, I can say I've thought about this... A LOT.

Hubby and I constantly talk about driver safety and I wonder if it's helping or hurting our cause. Is DS understanding he is not capable until he has a license or is he "prepping" to drive when HE thinks he's capable?

Case in point: We don't let him pour his own milk from the gallon jug because, well..milk is darned expensive and a nearly full gallon is heavy for a child to manage. I told him time and time again to ask first before trying to pour his own. He continually tries to do it when HE thinks he can.

We live on some acreage and DS has his own motor scooter that in a residential area would require a license to drive. He drives it on our lawn.

Will he eventually try to take mommy's car for a spin? IDK. Apparently, according to YouTube, kids drive all the time.

Today he was very proud that he could hang my car keys on the rack.

---

You know, I think DH and I will have a very serious convo with DS about this.

Thanks for posting.

From a cat-lover: They're a persistent bunch.

Simon's Cat-Feed Me

My DS recently had to explain on a worksheet whether or not he would want to go to the moon. He said, "NO!!! Because I don't want the training!"

(He is afraid of the centrifuge.)

I agree completely.

At around the same age, I jumped off a slide onto a see-saw that my very best friend had been persuaded to stand upon. He flew off and landed on a yard toy and broke his arm. We had been emulating a circus act.

We also started fires in the backyard in our own "brick ovens" to "bake" our own chocolate (mud) pies!

What can you say? Kids will be kids. Parents are always "putting out fires"!

Jaw-dropping. They must have been on drugs to do something like that, right?