Would you drop the idea if your child says that she doesn't want to subject accelerate?

I have DS and DD, who are rising 4th graders, both doing some ALEKS this summer with the idea that I may want to subject accelerate DS again. DD is my "slower" twin but I discovered that she is perhaps a bit more capable that I had thought. DD is now already beyond the passing level for 6th grade math in ALEKS(you only need 85%) so she will be past 6th grade level before the end of the summer. In the fall, her 4th grade GT class will be covering 5th grade math. I can have the school assess her and move her to the 5th grade GT class to do 6th grade math. Her major/immediate objection was that she didn't want to be in that class because DS was and he knows a lot more math. However, the whole reason she is doing ALEKS this summer is because I was considering accelerating DS again because he so clearly needs further acceleration. However, that is not guaranteed to happen because it is more difficult to pursue acceleration options for DS at the elementary school when he is already at the top of the course offerings.

Ugh.... well, I guess that I'd try to address the underlying social reasoning rather than automatically accepting "I don't want to" on that basis.

Would she be okay revisiting material that she's got mastery of? What will be going on with her sibling? It's possible that neither one of you (yet) has a complete picture of things, so I wouldn't necessarily lean toward no.

Is she willing to keep an open mind?

Agreed. Find out the real, core, underlying cause and work from there.

Sometimes you just need to let them have a voice. My DD9 was passionate about applying for the gifted math program (to which she was accepted - yay!) ...but cringed at the idea of applying for the gifted language section (which she likely would have qualified for as well). I could have pushed it, but I decided to let it be... I don't want her to lose her passion for learning by forcing her into acceleration that she's not interested in.

So... is your daughter turning down acceleration because she really doesn't want it? Or is the social element standing in the way of something she actually does want to do? You need to be clear on which it is before you can proceed...

Good luck

I would also try to find out what she's really thinking - my guess is that the first thought that comes out re the idea isn't going to be how she might feel about it after she's had some time to really let the thought sink in (at least this is how it works with my dds).

The other thing I'd do is think through why *I* wanted to accelerate her, and explain it to her with the full picture that your'e seeing. Chances are she is only thinking of it in terms of "if I do this option now, I have to sit in class with my brother" or whatever... but if you were to explain to her, for instance, if you take the accelerated option next year, then the following year you'll be able to ___ (fill in the blank) or, again, whatever *you* see as the benefit, it might make sense to her and she'd be ready to give it a try.

polarbear

I have twins also-- lots of them, actually (well, okay, just four)-- and am well familiar with the "this half of the world is his, and this half of the world is mine" phenomenon. I can only pass along that my eldest-by-two-minutes is now, as an adult, regretting the fact that she gave her sister custody of math.
I kind of learned with the younger two-- they're allowed to claim ownership (or non-ownership) of extracurriculars and electives. One is a band geek, one is in theatre; one's in Spanish and one Chinese. But when it comes to regular academics,they are strongly discouraged from using "but I don't like it/that's his thing, not mine" as a rationale.

We dropped a grade skip partially because my son doesn't want to do it, so yes, I would drop it.

I have 10 yo twin boys and they behave like your dd. They absolutely refuse to be in the same class. They have gone out of their way to avoid being in the same classes or activities since they were 4. One of my boys is PG, the other is HG/2E. My 2nd boy, although he qualifies, refuses to be in our district's HGT program because his brother is in it and achieves more academically than him. Like your dd, it's more his issue than his PG brother's. But I really can't blame him-- who wants to be "2nd" all the time?

We're letting my HG/2E boy make the choice in elementary school. But for middle school, he's not going to have the option-- the boys will be able to take the same HGT classes (not math, because one of my boys is radically accelerated), but at different times during the day.

The boys have carved out their own niche in sports, musical instruments, style and hair cuts, etc. They absolutely do not want to compete with each other, so I do understand why they don't want to be in a position in school where people would compare them. That's why we're not forcing my other son into the same class as his brother.

I wonder if in your position, you could continue with ALEX at home? Or tell your dd that if she doesn't go into the proper class for her math ability, she'll need to do ALEX at home, and let her make that choice?

I think that she would be completely fine repeating the same material. It's mostly the "mommy guilt" that I have made efforts for her brother but not for her even though his needs are clearly greater. The other problem is that I won't know what will be happening with DS so perhaps I do need to get him situated first.

It's hard to discern what is in her mind. However, it is probably safe to say a bit of both. DD has never been particularly academic and doesn't believe that she is good in math. She is quite adept socially and already too much into popularity and other superficial concerns.

I think that I want to accelerate her mostly because she is so clearly beyond the 4th grade GT curriculum. The other problem is that if we do accelerate her, then we really won't know what will happen in 5th grade as there currently is not a 5th grader accelerated beyond 5th grade GT math, which is essentially 6th grade math with enrichment.

I can see that four may seem like lots at times!

The problem with math is that it isn't a question of what each has masterd but that DS is so far beyond in ability. It's the difference between inherently understanding math without any teaching and learning easily with instruction. Perhaps I have been part of the problem because at times I have been unable to hide my exasperation if I need to explain anything and she could see that DS just knows without instruction or with a passsing 5 second comment.

Actually, DS and DD have always been in the same class from Kindergarten through 3rd grade. The only exception has been DS' subject acceleration in math starting mid-year 2nd grade. DD was glad to get rid of "smarty pants" and I think enjoyed math more once he was accelerated. They really didn't have a choice about being in the same class after Kindergarten because there is just one GT class and both kids were already designated as belonging in the subcategory of kids that must be in the GT class as oppose to just qualifying for the GT class.

Keeping Aleks (or another online supplement) and having her do a little bit after school starts is another option that I am considering. However, I don't normally do any after-schooling and both kids usually rush through homework in after-care so they would have the whole evening free to play.