I was in hysterics last night. I could not stop laughing. I live with Wolf day in and day out and other than being exhausting it doesn't phase me. It's only when the numbers are put down that I start to freak out. I'm not at all phased about having him take history with the 8th graders, well I wasn't until I realized that he will be 8 and they will be 13-14. He'll love it and fit in perfectly, but the numbers make my brain hurt. It makes it very hard for me to comprehend the concerns of a single level grade skip. He's always been such a wild outlier that I've always been more worried about how he'll adjust to college classes before he's a teen than I am about how difficult it will be to go through puberty later than the kids in his class.

That's part of my issue with going through with testing, besides the cost, I'm afraid the numbers will show me a different kid than the one I know. Maybe it's projected imposter syndrome, but what if the numbers come back lower than expected? What if the numbers say he isn't as "gifted" as we think he is?

I can't see it actually happening, but that doesn't stop the concern. He's finishing 4th grade EPGY math, is in the middle of 6th grade EPGY language arts, and he just finished two middle school textbooks. He's SEVEN!!! I know that equates to a high IQ, but what if it comes back too low for Davidson? Once again, I doubt it will, but what if it does? Does that mean that testing him will be a waste of money when we have so little to spare? Does it mean he's not as smart as he seems? Would it mean we ought to place him in a regular classroom?

I'm worried that the numbers will be different from what I see on a daily basis and if they are that it will change how I deal with him. I don't know... This whole thing is hitting more triggers that I would have expected.

I'm not much help, but didn't want to read & not post. Sorry you're having a hard time! Are you getting him tested soon?

You are not alone. I feel the same way with DD. She is 5, and is on track to finish all elementary curriculum by the end of next year. She will be 6.5. It's crazy. I feel the same way with testing. We don't have the money right now, but are planning on trying to test next spring. What if it shows something different I worry, but then I try to remember that what we see is most likely what we get and it's not like we haven't been told what we see is true by others...and I am sure this is the same for you all. She has been seen by a developmental psy and assessed...just not with official iq results, and he threw numbers at me that made my head spin, but then I have to take it day by day. But I do freak when I think of testing and what if it comes back low, does that mean what I and others have seen is not there, should we not grade skip all that we are doing, if everyone wrong. So see, while I have no advice, you are not alone LOL.

Thank you both. He's currently tentatively lined up to be tested this July and it's going to be fun to cover the bill which makes the whole whether we should test or not that much more of an issue. He's never seen a developmental anything, but every teacher he's ever had has said they've either never seen a kid like him or have only seen one other like him their whole career. His teacher just lent him a National Geographic and an archaeology magazine (I think, it was an adult scientific magazine of some kind) about the Titanic. He was overjoyed. I don't see how everyone could be wrong, but I still worry.

I honestly try not to think about just how different he is. When I don't think about it he's just Wolf, my big kid in a little kid's body who can't even tie his shoes or ride a two wheeler by himself yet. It's when the numbers get pointed out that it gets overwhelming. I mean what parent would even think of putting an 8 year old in with 13/14 year olds? But if I don't think about the numbers it makes perfect sense. Sigh.

I felt the same way when we were getting ready to have DD9 tested when she was 6. I was convinced that it was all in my head and that the numbers wouldn't match what I thought they would be. And, when she was first tested at age 6 she didn't make the DYS cutoff and I was crushed because I had seen it as my only hope of ever understanding her or finding help for her. However, 2 years later with a tester with more experience with gt kids she easily made it and is now a DYS.
I too get stuck on trying to figure out what we will do with her when she is ready for college at age 13 or 14 and not worry about puberty issues until someone brings them up. I think it is my mommy instinct that tells me that puberty will be easier than all of the other things that we face with her. (Ok, those of you with older girls can stop laughing now, let me live in ignorance for a little longer )

My advice to you is to take a big breath, or two or fifty and just let it happen. The numbers will say what they say - you know your kid better than probably anyone and your gut is probably right.

When we radically grade skipped DD this year everyone else was worried about the puberty thing too, except me - and I was right, she knows that the other girls are starting puberty and she isn't yet, but she also knows that part of their behavior is because of it and she is glad to not have to worry about it at this point in time.

Good luck - this feeling too shall pass.

Don't worry about the numbers -- you know the kid.

If the numbers don't show what you already know, there's something wrong with the numbers. It wouldn't be the first time, and it sure won't be the last. More than likely, the numbers will show even more than you already know and give you something else to freak out about instead.

I'm worrying about the education too. CoLleges and scholarships are competitive. And what if you're kid's not age group lock-stepped then what kind of education will they miss? What kind of scholarships can't they qualify to apply for? You don't want to hold them back when they want to learn now. Along with learning you want them to have a good fit in their daily lif now, right now you want them to be where they're thriving more than you want anything else.

I guess every parent worries. I wonder if all the parents worry about everything at once though. I don't think it would be less stressful to worry about one piece at a time, but a mothers going to worry however she does best.

IKWYM. Honestly, the number one reason we're not testing DS8 is that we don't see any way any result could help (absence of a reason TO test) and the number two reason is the cost - but the thing that makes me feel relieved that we don't need to is the kind of feeling you're talking about. I know that DS is extraordinary, especially in maths, and no number could change that, and I know that weird things can happen with testing - but an ordinaryish number would be difficult to reconcile emotionally, all the same.

Thanks everyone. It is helping to know that I'm not the only one who has had thoughts like that. I think we're going through with testing if we can scrape up the money. If he qualifies for Davidson, great, if he doesn't at least we'll know his strengths and weaknesses and hopefully rule out any problems that might be being hidden by being as bright as he is.

Okay, here's my Old Lady perspective (my eldest gifted kid is 30, the youngest are 14)...

So what if the numbers are wrong? What if they're right? Either way, your kid is the same kid he would have been, untested and unsorted. Either Davidson is a go, or it isn't, or something else entirely different comes along-- but thousands of terribly bright young people have lived fulfulling lives without a gifted summer camp or a part-time enrichment program.
At some point-- at many points-- things will turn out to be Not Optimal. You go with plan B (or even C, D, or E), you give it your best shot, and things will be fine. Children are terrifyingly resilient, despite what people will want to tell you to the contrary.

Wyldkat
DS6 has now been tested using 4 different tests, first because we couldn't get over what we were seeing and I needed some validation that it was the "more" I thought he was. Then 2x in 2 different tests to get into schools and just recently as partof his IEP. I completely get what you re saying and the questioning. We got DS WISC back and he had missed Davidson by one point I was so upset, and i wondered why, nothing had changed for him, or about him, and I started wondering if it was more about me, and my validation. Turns out the extended norms came into play, and now he has qualifying scores. He's the exact same kid! But I felt a sigh of relief that now I could apply for him to Davidson.

But if you put Davidson aside, what did we get from the 4 tests, lesson 1) cancel if he shows any sign of illness, we didn't and he bombed it. Although interesting the pattern of strength and weakness was the same across the 3 iqs. The WISC gave us out best most thorough tester report. The first told us little beyond the score and in retrospect I wish I had known that it was a minimal job. The second more professional but limited as he was ill but told us some interesting things - like how he couldn't be bothered on some easy ones and blew her away on really hard ones, pretty typical for him. But this last one, was really insightful and thorough and really helps us to understand how he thinks, what is difficult for him, and also how to work with his issues.

I'm the kind who wants evidence and also the validation, yes you see what you see but at the same time the score wasn't going to undo the fact that my 6 year old has the same level of understanding of atoms, electrons, electron shells, the periodic table, that I had in 10th grade AP chem. And ont get me started about space.

If its not a cost thing, then do it, you can always test later if it's not Davidson level, or just go portfolio. And if the scores are lower then it's either having a bad day or that he is a nice combo of iq and high achiever. Remember regular gifted is 130, Davidison 145, huge gap between the two of people not profound but not served by a normal classroom either.

I think these feelings are all part of the uncertainty of parenting our kids - as with all things, the more rare, the more unique the needs and feeling undone or at sea is kind of par for the course.

DeHe

Isn't it about meeting him where he is at?

The number is just a number. Sure, he may qualify for more resources with a higher score, but the number doesn't mean *anything*. Someone will assign a general score to your child, but it changes nothing about him.

Just "follow the child" and pay attention to ensure that he is being challenged, yet not feeling stressed or pressured by the work. He is showing you what he is ready for. Give it to him. And that is all.