We are at a place where we have to try to make decisions about DS and his education. He would start school in November here if he were going to go at all.
We have had a trial in a school with about 2.5 years acceleration already, and which, while an ok match socially was not a good match academically and as been terminated by the school anyway (not for any reason related to DS himself).
We're not sure where we should go from here. Homeschooling is an option, or do we look for another school that will start him early and/or radically accelerate him. Or should we start him with same age peers and supplement at home. Or try to organise a part time placement - with age peers or accelerated? I'd really appreciate some advice from those who have BTDT - what did you do that worked (OR what do you wish you'd done). We don't have gifted classes or schools here, so if he goes to school it's either same age or accelerated with a normal mix of kids in the class.
I'm leaning toward home ed mostly because is seems so hard to try and make something work within schools but within that struggling to come to terms with options so far as materials and programmes to use.
His current levels of academic achievement are at least 5 years advanced, more in some cases.

Hi Trina,
I went back and read your posts ((hugs))
All the options you've outlined sound very reasonable, and there isn't much way to tell which one will work without - ug- trial and error.
If you can get a part time placement with more of a radical acceleration than before, then I think it's worth a try. I've seen that 'happy enough' and it is bitter when I realized just how gone the spark is.

As for agemates, I think that depends on a very high EQ (Emotional Intelligence) and would tend to reserve that until age 8 or so, depending on the child.


This is sad if it's 100% true. In the US things are quite flexible, with kids moving fluidly between private, public and homeschooling depending on their needs and their parents ability to use the alternatives. Do you think there is some kind of loophole possible on this point?

I've only afterschooled, never homeschooled, but I know a lot of happy homeschooling families. Is your son still writing?

Personally I think that the biggest variable is the actual classroom teacher. There are some real jewels out there, and if you can catch them then it might be worth the hassle.

Hugs,
Grinity

My 2pworth: it would be different if your DS had at least some academic areas where he was close to age-typical (like writing for my DS) but if I understand you correctly that he doesn't, then I think it's only worth considering school for him if the school would be prepared to be extremely flexible and give him very radical acceleration (both!). At this age I find it hard to imagine doing school really *just* for PE and break working well, though YMMV. Since you're really rather unlikely to find this, I think you should look at school options from the position that your default is to home educate (and do non-academic things to give him friends of his own age), but that you would be delighted and surprised to find a better option. Have you read what Terry Tao's parents have written about his school experience? If not, do google it - it was amazing.

Do you have a homeschooling community locally and does your ds have a strong preference either way? My youngest is an extreme extrovert so, for her, homeschooling would require a reasonably active homeschooling group with whom we felt a reasonable social fit. On the other hand, she was so unhappy in school for a good chunk of elementary that she kept asking to be homeschooled even though we butted heads and she would have likely been lonely to an extent.

We did make homeschooling work well with my oldest for a while b/c the school fit, too, was really poor and not a reasonable option. We've also made public schools work with some significant acceleration but I also suspect that your ds is more advanced than my kids so he'd likely need more acceleration.

Lots of help I am! It sounds to me like you are leaning toward homeschooling. If you can make that work financially (i.e. -- you can stay home for some time and not work outside of the home) and find some social outlets for him, that sounds like a good idea to me. Perhaps when he gets to his pre-teen or teen years he can just move on to college courses.

oh, sorry Grinity - I worded that wrong. I mean we're coming to the time where he would start *if we chose to send him at all*. He can start later if we decided to home school him for a while.

I haven't read about Terry Tao - I'll do some hunting sometime soon.

Yes, he's still writing - once we finally got his writing book back from the school he hasn't stopped. Lots of random fairy / flower/ dragon stuff with a heavy influence from Enid Blyton.

Our local homeschooling group is (apparently) very active so I'd have to push my introverted self out of my comfort zone to make contact.

He loves his 'extra curricula' stuff (gymnastics, music, foreign language), and says he doesn't care where he does school so long as he can learn lots of new things. Keeping him home would require a big commitment and we know we wouldn't be supported by most of our family, and it's a little scary!

If you are thinking about homeschooling, I can't stress enough how helpful it can be to contact local homeschoolers. It can just make it seems so much more do-able and normal.

If the main thing he wants out of school is to learn new things, then that's your acid test. Would he learn new things in this situation? How about that one? etc.

Sounds like a hard situation. Hugs!

oh wow, I've just finished reading about Terry Tao - it sounds like exactly what we'd love to do, and addressing all of our concerns about social / emotional development, balancing his pace of learning with the need for a broad base of understanding and still meeting his needs for ongoing learning and intellectual growth. I don't know if DS has the potential to achieve at the kinds of levels Terry Tao has, but the model resonates strongly with me. It gives me hope that it might actually be possible to do this. I have renewed hopes that it might be worth meeting and talking with schools, although our recent experience has scared me off somewhat.

Trina I found it interesting reading about his education too, especially as I grew up in the same city in the same time frame (without remotely the same LOG of course). But reading about his schooling really drove home to me two things - one that you have to find the right school principle to work with you, and hope that they have good teachers AND that when a child is that far out there in both potential and achievement it does help in getting even the blind to see.

My point being - talk to lots of schools if you have to.

That's 4 very good things. Yes, parenting takes us out of our comfort zones. As far as family members (excepting DH or DWs) if they are of a mind to be judgemental, then they will always find something to be judgemental about. That is just another comfort zone to step out of. Some families won't fit in the 'round hole' and that's that.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

As well as a sympathetic principal, you need to team up with an excellent gifted coordintor. That's who's most likely to be designing the IEP and advocating for your son. When you check out the schools I think it's important to find out how knowledgable the coordinators are and whether there are any you could work happily with since your son's education is going to require on-going adjustments.

Have you looked into Alpha elearning? http://alphaed.org.nz/aboutus.htm It didn't suit my son at the time when we had our trial but I know other people who it has worked for.