We put DS4 (June birthday) in a private K class this year. The K class is made up of primarily young fives (with fall birthdays). Some of the kids will go on to K in the public school system and others may enter 1st grade. There are only 11 kids in his class.

His teacher informed me yesterday that DS is running around too much, acting very hyper/crazy/excited, and not working on his center during center time. She said he often gets up and wanders around the room (even though he is picking his own activity). She said he does sit nicely at circle time.

DS reads at the third grade level. He is doing math at home at a beginning 2nd grade level (maybe late 1st). As far as I can tell they have only been working on the alphabet and a couple of sight words in class. Of course, they have been doing other typical K stuff too, such as days of the week, etc. According to DS she has never had him read for her.

He is just acting like a typical four year old? Should I have concerns of a bigger issue beginning? I would never have described DS as "hyper" prior to being told about this. He will sit very calmly for hours and play alone at home. She seemed somewhat surprised when I told her this yesterday.

This K class is at a childcare center so I can interact with the teacher on a daily basis (good or bad I am not sure). It has taken her two months to tell me this was such an issue.

What should I do? I had a conversation with DS last night about not being so crazy in class. Help!!!

Can you go and observe for a half day or day. I think there could be a number of things going on, and every kid reacts differently. Sure, he could be very underchallenged and is just getting bored, but maybe the teacher has an unrealistic expectation of behavior. Six months at that age can make a huge difference in ability to sit still or focus (especially on things that are not all that exciting) so I would suggest trying to figure out what is going on.

It just may not be a good fit for your DS, both in terms of academics and structure.

Good luck, Cat

If the K class is still not fitting where he is academically, maybe he'd be better off in a play based preschool where the structure is more relaxed and he'll be able to do whatever interests him at his own level at school, and you can afterschool him on academics.

I think a four year old reading at a third grade level is going to be happier painting and building than doing letter worksheets and counting to ten. He can write stories and use the blocks to practise division if he likes. And he won't be held to the behavior standards of a five year old K class. I don't know about a young 5's class, but my DD's K class sits quietly all day long.

Is what he's focusing on at home something he chose himself? That makes a difference.

Maybe he's excited to be around all the other kids? There's too much excitement going on. He wants to be where the action is? Afraid he's going to miss something? If that's it tell me when you find a solution because I'm worried about that too.

Yes, everything Tallulah said!

It does sound like you have two options, advocate for changes, or pull him out. If the point of paying for private school, and putting him in a year early, was to get him the academics he needs, I would say it's not working. Since it's still early in the year, maybe Tallulah's suggestion is best?

Part of the issue with starting school before the suggestied age is often that the child is not ready to sit and do what is expected, regardless of their academic level. My DC would have been the same way. We recently had grade skipped DC and during one of the meetings the principal asked us why we waited to start school (for one, we weren't even close to the cut off) but DC was just not ready for that environment. The academic level, sure, but sitting quietly, and doing not such engaging things that she already knew was another thing. I would say, perhaps that if you can't get the issue resolved, don't panic. Like the others mentioned, you can "after-school" to meet the academic needs. Being in K isn't just about academics, it's about being ready for the social, the listening, the structure. It's the whole big picture. Don't worry, it will work out *even if it means pulling DC out for now and trying again later.*

I think the hardest part is that he is really enjoying it. He may be driving the teacher a little crazy, but he is very excited to go and has nothing but positive things to say at the end of the day. I really don't think he is too concerned that he is not doing math or reading at his level while at school (well, this information made me question that). Many of the kids in the class will be the same age as his classmates next year in public K. He would be crushed if he had to move back into the pre-k class.

With only 11 kids in the class, I kind of feel like the teacher should be able to help/problem solve to aid with keeping him a little more calm. It is not like he is in a class of 25. Maybe I have never stopped and thought about how much energy my son really has...he is my oldest, so I really don't have a comparision.

I will agree that it is becoming very obvious to me why most 4 year olds should not enter K, regardless of academics. I may plan to sit in on the class during center time so I am figure out what exactly is going on. We did a little role playing last night to practice walking nicely to our "center" when the teacher called on him. I think it took three tries before he was able to walk to the pretend sensory table - he was just so excited...and we were only pretending! Yikes!

My DS is in preK and the age ranges from kids who just turned 4 to just turned 5 and that difference can be huge. Last year it was 3 to 5 and that was problematic as their was a problem child and the school had difficulty handling it. My DS apparently spends a lot of center time telling stories to himself. They are doing letters and DS reads. But they have a lot of rules, and the kids know the rules, in fact the social component seems to be focused on rules, and playing nicely and all that sort of stuff. I think you need a better idea of what the teacher (s?) are doing with them. Is he supposed to be playing with other kids, is he bored with the toy offerings. Or is he trying to get the teachers attention. DS teacher is concerned about his social skills because the other kids have no frame of reference for what he talks about, her words not mine. She is more concerned about this than I am because I don't think he is miserable and I don't want to send the message that he needs to change himself to fit in. Does yours get along with these older kids, or are they still not really old enough so he prefers the
adults, which at some point the adults realize it and try to pawn the kid of on the other kids, some don't react well. my DS accepted it, but only when forced to.

Not sure how observing goes, mine would change his behavior. I find it's helpful to find a kid in the class who tells his/her parent everything. They can be like court reporters and provide a useful picture of what the classroom is like from another perspective

DeHe

That's not his social skills, that's his intelligence! You can't expect a 4yo to know how to tailor his conversation to his audience. At least he's talking to them!

I think observing is a good idea, but his behavior will change with you there. Maybe they have a window you can peek in? Or leave a video camera running? Or maybe just go and observe and ask the teacher afterward if that was a typical day.I would ask if it's really fair to him to be being kept calm at this age instead of following his natural inclinations? My very very calm, quiet five year old is absolutely bursting at the seams after a day at kindergarten because it's just so controlled. This is even with a morning and afternoon free play time.

Yeah, my thought too, although he does seem to tailor his conversations to his adult audiences, I've seen him alter content with his grandparents both to hide info and to manipulate them!!