Communicating about problems - Soapbox - 10/03/07 04:03 PM
Sometimes I act like gradeskip is the answer to everything. Actually I think it's a good short term compromise for lots of kids, but really far short of what our children deserve. Some of our brightest kids are just wrong for gradeskips all together.
How do we communicate with schools who have various objections to our proposals when the proposals really are not ideal?
Lately I've been framiing it in terms of "Good Problems to have." For example, DS needs extra help getting organized and keeping track of his assignments. This is a problem and I'm grateful for all the help the school gives. I feel bad for him that at age 11 he has to deal with complexity that is aimed for age 12 and 13 year olds. When talking to the school I try to point this out before they can. It's a problem, but it's the best problem he could have right now! There isn't another option were he can have local friends, intellectually appropriate work, and a reasonable commute. We aren't ready to throw up our hands and send him packing off to boarding school! That would cause the problem of breaking up the family. He couldn't stay with his age-mates. That would cause the problem of him thinking he is better than others, thinking that smart equals low effort on homework and finishing first on tests. It also caused the problem of acclimating him being able to let his attention drift away, for long periods of time, without penelty. The problems he has now, of figuring out how to keep his attention on the current moment, how to structure his time, how to keep track of his homework and test schedual - these are good problems to have! So I'm so grateful to the school for taking a chance on my kid, for letting him have a level playing field so that he can take responsibility for thriving or failing.
So whenever the school, or others, makes objections, I think we can agree with the concerned party, thank them for their concern, and point out that although it isn't idea, "It's the best kind of Problem we could have right now."
What do you think?
Trinity
How do we communicate with schools who have various objections to our proposals when the proposals really are not ideal?
Lately I've been framiing it in terms of "Good Problems to have." For example, DS needs extra help getting organized and keeping track of his assignments. This is a problem and I'm grateful for all the help the school gives. I feel bad for him that at age 11 he has to deal with complexity that is aimed for age 12 and 13 year olds. When talking to the school I try to point this out before they can. It's a problem, but it's the best problem he could have right now! There isn't another option were he can have local friends, intellectually appropriate work, and a reasonable commute. We aren't ready to throw up our hands and send him packing off to boarding school! That would cause the problem of breaking up the family. He couldn't stay with his age-mates. That would cause the problem of him thinking he is better than others, thinking that smart equals low effort on homework and finishing first on tests. It also caused the problem of acclimating him being able to let his attention drift away, for long periods of time, without penelty. The problems he has now, of figuring out how to keep his attention on the current moment, how to structure his time, how to keep track of his homework and test schedual - these are good problems to have! So I'm so grateful to the school for taking a chance on my kid, for letting him have a level playing field so that he can take responsibility for thriving or failing.
So whenever the school, or others, makes objections, I think we can agree with the concerned party, thank them for their concern, and point out that although it isn't idea, "It's the best kind of Problem we could have right now."
What do you think?
Trinity
