Anybody's kids take "potty breaks" at school just to escape? Do you try to fix it or just leave them be?

DS7 told me last night he spends half the school day in the bathroom. He said he really needs to "go" (not have a BM), and that when he gets back, he has a lot of classwork to make up. The restroom is just down the hall, and how long can it really take that he has a bunch of work to catch up on? I asked why he doesn't use the bathroom at home that frequently, and he said because he can sit and read at home, and he doesn't have to use the bathroom then.

My opinion is that he's taking these breaks as a way to 1) escape the noise and stimulation for a while, 2) get away because he's not able to do what he wants when he wants (control) in the classroom, or 3) because he's bored.

What would you guys do?

I would say talk to the teacher about this and find out her inpressions. Is he bored or seemed bothered at school. Also, talk to your son more and show your empathy for the situation. I think when kids feel understood that goes a ling way. It' a new year and my kids take a good month to get in the groove. I hope this helps.

Sounds like he has found a way to cope. You just need to give him a way to cope IN class.

He may escalate, though.

When I was his age, I just walked out of school and went home and called my mom.

She then called the school asking them to have me ready because I had an appointment. She then showed up at the school.

That caused a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Things changed - I got to go to the library two hours out of the day and sat in back doing my own thing - reading. I just had to take the tests with the rest of the class.

OTGMom, thanks for the reply. I've emailed his teacher to get an accurate read on how much time he's really spending outside the class. I know that DS won't show he's bothered or bored at school. That's not his style.

DH and I talk with DS pretty much daily about his feelings, because he needs a lot of help to work through his thoughts and anxieties.

While I'm hopeful this is just the beginning of the year jitters, I worry that it's become his routine. I think DS may have had this same habit last year as well. There were A LOT of days DS would bring home a bunch of worksheets and say he had to do them as homework because he was in the bathroom when the rest of the class did them as classwork. Frankly, it just didn't hit my radar until now.

Austin, thanks for writing.

DS is a "rule follower" at school, so I'd be surprised if he escalated. Were you the type to explain why you left and went home? Or did your Mom/school just decide to try letting you do your thing as an experiment and that worked?

DS isn't the type to tell me what's really wrong in this case, so I'm trying to figure out the cause. Appreciate the insight into your experience.

My DD used to "go to the bathroom" and wander in to the adjoining unoccupied classroom for undetermined amounts of time. I only found out when she came home with candy and told me it was from the candy jar in Ms. X's room. She also spent a great deal of time in the prinicpal's office that year. The teacher had no idea what to do with her and she learned very quickly to manipulate the situation without 'breaking the rules'. I would definately try to figure out the cause early.

[DS is a "rule follower" at school, so I'd be surprised if he escalated. Were you the type to explain why you left and went home?[/quote]

In elementary school I spent a considerable amount of time in the library without my class. I also remember pretending to fall asleep so that I could stay inside while my class went to recess. In elementary school I thought my classmates viewed me as the "teacher's pet". I never thought I was particularly bright.

In middle school I left class when a history teacher called a boy a "f***ot" for wearing a pink shirt. I told the teacher I wouldn't return to class until he apologized. I wandered the halls and then wrote a letter explaining why the teacher's behavior offended me. I don't remember getting in trouble for leaving class. This wasn�t the first time that I'd wandered the halls. In high school I started ditching for longer stretches. Two weeks was my longest unexcused absence.

I used to go to the clinic
I guess it became so much of a habit, they called my mom to see what medical condition I had. busted!

In Elementary and up until 9th grade I did the bathroom thing and the library. Then I changed schools for high school and it had an open floor plan (some of the rooms didn't have walls and the library was open to the hall ways and other classrooms). I did go to the bathroom a good bit (only place with walls). However, during my Senior year I did hang out in the office a lot. Nope wasn't in terrible but if I was in there the secretary didn't care, the prinicpal didn't come out, and if a teacher saw us (a lot of seniors in there) they either thought it was for a meeting or we had to talk to the principal or we were office workers. Love it when you can hide right in front of everyone.

I could read at a HS level and we were doing "see spot run" and telling time. It was excruciatingly boring. I'd brought in some books from home to read and the teacher took them from me. I was pretty outspoken about it and she said I could not go to recess and had to sit and think about it. So I just left when she took the class out of the room. IIRC I had some books at home I could read so I left. It was a matter of choosing what I wanted to do - which was read.

My DS did this also (pre-acceleration). He would also sneak his book under his shirt and take it with him to the bathroom. Lord alone knows how long he would 'hide' in there and read (if what he does at home is anything to go by it could be over half an hour!)

(He also does this at home by the way, whenever the thankless chores need to be done.)

I discovered this when I popped in (on the spur of the moment) to help out with reading groups and he wasn't there.

The teacher was just so busy she didn't notice the length of time he was away!! It didn't help that she was letting him read in class whenver he felt like it as (in her words) "he already knows what I'm teaching".

So maybe boredom is the cause?

I am in the same boat as Austin. I would just leave or hide from the bus altogether. I was a rule follower but sooner or later the rules didn't make any sense. I would just read my books wherever and get someone else in class to tell me what was due and when. This was 4th grade. Before that I sucked up to the teachers to get them to allow me to help them. Sad I know. My son started doing the same things in 1st grade. I would get the reason from him and let him know he won't be punished for being honest.

I appreciate all the responses. At least it seems like DS is in good company. *lol*

Like Tory and MoN mentioned above, I think the teachers ignored it last year because DS doesn't get behind. He knows the content or can teach it to himself, and if he missed a worksheet or two, he just takes it home and does it here.

It'll be interesting to see what his teacher has to say. I know that I need to address the issue, but I do worry about removing DS's coping mechanism unless we can fix the underlying issue(s).

BTW, at what age does parenting get simpler?

Apparently it NEVER gets simpler! My parents are still in over their heads with me. HA.

I hope your issue gets "resolved" soon. I would fake being sick, and apparently I was a good actress. That, and by high school, I ALWAYS had a hall pass - even when they were made by me.

LOL, JJsMom. Senior year my (HG+) best friend was an assistant to a very lenient teacher during the teacher's prep period. So my friend had a lot of free time and a free hall pass. He would often pull me out of class to hang out. Allegedly we were working on play preparations, but mostly we were just skipping class!