I could use some insight....
My DD6 is very pretty and since she was a baby she literally stops people in their tracks to admire her beauty. Lots of people want to touche her hair and don't even mention my son standing there. It's all a bit too much. She has a wonderful personality and I try to reminder her that its so nice to look pretty but it is the inside stuff that counts. I'll tell people she is twice as pretty on the inside. Well she has always been ahead but not like her brother. So she gets noticed for beauty and he gets noticed for brains. I do try to credit her for being a good student and hard worker.

Because I want to keep her grounded. I've been holding back on the modeling or acting. She seems to be born for the stage in some ways. She was narrator in her school play last year and did a great job. She says she has no stage freight and comforts the others. She loves to sing and dance. She reads stories like an adult with lots of expression.

Well, I'm probally over thinking this a bit but... if anyone would like to comment that would be nice.

I don't think you are over thinking. I think it is great topic to investigate.

I find in my adult circle of friends the girls who were considered very pretty during their childhood are more self concious about their looks than those of us who were ugly ducklings. Not sure why that is but I'm sure there is some explanation.

I think it is great to let her explore her ability and interest in the performing arts. Merits in the performing arts are earned by hard work and talent. However, I would avoid the modeling or beauty pagent stuff at such a young age. Just my 2 cents.

FYi I hate it when strangers touch my DD's hair!

I worked in that business and would just say that I would avoid having my kids work in the entertainment or modeling business until they are much older.

While I do think it can be fun for the kids, those are adult workplaces with deadlines, pressure, long hours, etc., and they will witness a LOT of grown up behavior that kids really are not exposed to in their normal life (not just the true "adult" stuff - crewpeople talking to each other in grown up ways, that kind of thing).

Even the audition process for kids is pretty harsh = kids can be deemed "too chubby," "not cute enough," "too tall," "too many freckles," "big nose," on and on and on - because it's a business that is trying to achieve a particular result they are looking for particular things, and it can be painful for kids in a way that the adults really don't intend.

Theater/plays for kids to me is a different issue and can be a good way for a kid to find their way into acting and have a good time.

PM me if you'd like more detail or have specific questions!
Grif

I thought it was interesting in Ruf's "Losing Our Minds" book that one of the Level 5 kids (Rick Arnesen) worked as an actor as a pre-teen in movies. The parents said one of the benefits was the private tutor that the movie company provided (better than regular school, at least!).

I agree with what was said above- I think giving her the opportunity to perform in non-to-low competetive environments is great. She deserves the opportunity to express herself and to be creative, etc. I think modeling and pagents should wait until she is old enough to make informed decisions for herself and had a defined self-identity.

In the meantime, all kids (beautiful, brainy, athletic, etc.) benefit from working on their self-confidence and self-respect, understanding their own strengths and weaknesses, identifying their superficial vs. deeper characteristics and learning the value of hard work. IMO It sounds like you are doing exactly that!

We have the SAME issue... but DD3.5 was in her first pagaent earlier this summer. She placed 1st runner up... and was such a ham. It wasn't one of those toddler & tiaras one (they got disqualified for makeup, etc), and all the girls got a trophy, but she really enjoyed it. We have her in dance and we're going to put her in singing lessons (her choice - she loves to sing) soon. I won't go crazy searching for opportunities, and I make sure to keep her involved with other activities that aren't "beauty" based (dancing, singing & acting all take talent to be successful). I think it's important to let her know physical beauty isn't the only thing that makes her beautiful, BUT that she should never be ashamed of how physically beautiful she is.

What about some community theater or music lessons with recitals? My DD6 is taking Piano and enjoys performing that. DD also loves reading stories with expression too. She took one of her smaller books and made an entire play out of it with stuffed animals. It was a fun time.

Also, as our kids get older the schools will have drama club, etc.