I'm looking for ideas about limiting TV and computer game time. I don't want to get into earning the time. I just want to present limits that are what is good for them. I would like to hear other parents ideas. My kids are DD6 & DS9.

I'm not sure this would work for your kids, but for my younger kids (DS5 and DS3), we almost don't need rules because we pretty much just don't do it. For the Wii, in which they have the most interest in, they can't play Wii because its daddy's Wii. They can only play with Daddy when daddy wants to and they pretty much know that daddy would rather play outside then play Wii. They don't really ask anymore. We do allow for 30 minutes of either computer or TV time at night if time permitting. In the summer, we have been outside playing so much that time often does not permit.

They get most of their TV time when my mom babysits.

Coming on the heals of "How to make your children obey," this conversation should be interesting. Awfully tough to engage in rational discourse with a 4yo who has a crack-habit (video-addiction). In our house, this area has always been very authoritarian.

Somehow we have managed to avoid letting the 500-channel crack dealer into our home. No satellite or cable... and since we are in the sticks, no broadcast TV either. That really helps in restricting viewing.

We do have a great collection of movies and classic TV shows, though, and they can pretty much choose from anything we have.

The limits have no rhyme or reason to them... sometimes its 30 minutes, sometimes as hour. Most of the time, nothing. And, because the TV is not an ever-looming, glowing presence in our home, it's not such a big deal.

When they start whining about TV, though, I explain that this whining is most likely a result of them having watched too much, and this leads to a Dad-the-Tyrant-imposed moratorium.

As both kids are now old enough to functionally help with laundry, that is the trade-off -- they can watch, but the laundry gets washed, dried & folded.

Computer time is meted out in a similar fashion. Our older child trades off ALEKS progress for free CPU time. He's currently working through a variety of our older adventure-style, problem-solving games. Our son also loves the computer-based word games like Bookworm, Scrabble, Boggle, etc. And as long as they focus on this stuff, they get little griping from me.

I don't think you need to worry about the "trading" aspect, though. Trading, bartering, and earning one's way through life ain't necessarily a bad skill to have.

Ain't this the truth. I am stunned by how much TV our parents watch (both sets)... but looking back, it's really no more than we used to watch. (The content, though, is *quite* different. Ugh.)

To help my DS5 begin to learn to self-regulate his TV and computer game time we worked together to create a list of things he loves to do with check boxes. Then, we talked about how important balance was each day he tries to do at least five things from his list and some days he never gets to the computer or TV! The things on the list include; playing with his toys in the bathroom sink, piano practice, bubbles in the yard, dress up, mom or dad read to him and/or he reads a book, play-doh, etc. This has really helped us, he feels more in control and everyother word out of our mouths is not "no".

LOL!
We don't have cable or sat. So it's pretty much PBS around here and the kids get bored fast with a limited selection.
As for computer time, don't have game system yet, I usually let them play a little bit before lunch or dinner and when it's time to eat it's time to quit. This also keeps them out of my hair while I'm in the kitchen. Kids are 3 & 7
When given a choice my kids always choose to play with us over the TV or computer. But this may change as they get older.

It's tough to say, and for us it depends on the day. DS5 has an educational game system that he has played a handful of times since he got it a year ago. He does like some TV shows (mostly cyberchase and wheel of fortune)...but he loves the computer. I basically let him go on for a while and then tell him that's enough and we need to do other things. On nice days he is rarely on there, sometimes not on there at all. We went on vacation for a week a while back and he had no TV or computers for a week and didn't seem to notice or ask about it. He generally would prefer other things. In fact, right now he is addicted to snap circuits which I actually have to limit time on or he will do projects all day long. It's pretty crazy. While I too don't think that computer and TV time should be earned, I do believe it is a privilege and sometimes DS loses it when he has done something unacceptable. DD2 does like to sit and watch TV, but she is easily distracted to other things and would always prefer outside, reading, or other things.

And it helps that we don't really have the TV on. We don't even turn it on until they are in bed if we do. I think what we model is definitely a factor

I used to be much more conscientious about limiting screen time than I am now. Sigh... T.V. isn't a problem. As has been the case with some other posters, we too don't have cable or sattelite. Mostly though, I think limiting it when they were younger did a good job at decreasing interest--although if any screen in the house is "glowing" in DS's presence he will be frozen in place, eyes glued to the screen. Other than when we have rented a movie he likes (and has to watch 5 times before returning), it doesn't really occur to him to go to the t.v.

However, in contrast to tv, both kids will spend hours at computer or wii if we let them, so we are more vigilant with those "screens". Lately I've been lax, and just kick them off when it seems like enough is enough and they aren't considering any of the millions of other things they could be doing. Also, it depends WHAT they're doing. Both kids like the interactive sites like Poptropica, Fantage (sp?), etc. While I don't exactly consider them "high quality", I've decided that they really aren't any less quality than a lot of games they could play off-screen--and the problem solving/discussion part engages their brains and gives them a common experience with a lot of peers (many of the peer experiences are not open to my kiddos, since I don't let them sit in front of Nickelodeon for hours, watch violence filled movies, etc..). I'm most likely to kick them off if they are watching videos (Star Wars Lego videos are a DS fav) or playing repetitive games for a lengthy amount of time (Webkinz, American Girl, etc..--a DD liklihood). When they were younger, I had two organizational folders under favorites menu: Mom's Stamp of Approval (math sites, build a prairie, Museum interactive sites, etc..) and Mind Candy (American Girl, NickJr, Webkinz, etc...). I was more limiting of time on mind candy, but really I think the purpose of the folders was to help them think about the activities they were choosing and try to make a distinction between them. Nothing wrong with mind candy in reasonable doses.... We do have a Saturday morning rule. Unlimited screen time (they are responsible about not straying to sites we haven't previously approved) on Saturday AMs. This means we get to sleep in while they happily enjoy the computer/movie/wii It also makes the time restrictions on other days less of an issue for them. I figure it's like Saturday morning cartoons were for me as a child---get up and watch from Scooby Doo to the end of the Kroft Supershow! All things considered, I think their Saturday AM diet is healthier--sure is a lot less commercial interruption! LOL

BTW, if anyone has a DD in the 9-13 age range, check out New Moon Girls. We just joined and DD got her first magazine. Wonderful magazine and site for the late elementary/tween/pre-teen girl.

I wanted to mention that my kids get unlimited TV/DVD time while we are driving in the car. We play solely educational videos in the car. They have learned so much. I buy DVDs, borrow them from the library, and from Netflix. My DS5 really likes the Getting Ahead in American History series, which is just lots of info for his age. We originally started with the Leap Frog series and have just progressed. My DS5 has learned multiplication, money, time, etc from it, and I just view it as bonus instructional time, which I don't have to teach. We have to be in the car anyways, especially since I live in LA.

The kids enjoy programs like Nova and Discovery and Mythbusters. We all enjoy them so we do allow those. Computer doesn't interest them much, and the Wii is fun, but not addictive for them (ages 7 and 10).

We limit screen time to 1 hour per day, but it comes after homework, clean up chores and cello lessons. Sometimes it never happens but then it isn't a requirement, only if there is time.

If there are particularly education shows on, I recall a series on the History Channel on the pilgrims, we lift these restrictions. Mostly though my kids prefer to read. We do have cable (basic) and they can choose appropriate shows from those offered.

I think I'm a bit off the norm for this site. Wolf gets up and as long as he is quiet he can play with toys, read or watch TV on approved channels until the rest of the house is up and moving. He'll often play with toys or read with the TV as background (much like me when I did homework, so much easier to concentrate that way...). That is basically the only time the TV is on until night time and then once again it it mostly background noise for the boys, although MythBusters is a HUGE hit. Very rarely the boys will get to watch a video in the afternoons if they really need the downtime (the TV is very good at zonking them out...)

Wolf gets his Leapster in the car only. He can go online at home if he's been decent and the electronics haven't been on too much that day. He only goes to pre-approved sites, although recently he's been going to a game site I'm not too happy with, but he's only been playing the games we approve, so far so good. In fact he's been amazing DH and his friends with how good he is at some of them, better than they are and it's all reasoning skills!!!

Bear only gets computer time by watching his brother. I'll get Wolf to run Starfall.com for him. They both like it.

Every now and then they get to play MarioKart on the Wii. That becomes an addiction REALLY quickly and gets clamped down on quickly.

Basically if it's educational, done in moderation and not whined about it's fine. Whining pretty much ensures you aren't going to get whatever electronic fun that is being asked for.

We have cable because we don't get any channels if we don't. That and Mom couldn't live without Discovery, PBS and History.

My boys are only (sickness excepted) allowed to watch TV one afternoon on a weekday, and then on family movie night (Saturday). We had dreadful issues with whinging and nagging until I came up with my brilliant (she says modestly) solution - before being turned off the TV is set to bluescreen. The child lock is on the box, so all I have to do is hide the remote and there's nothing they can do about it. They don't even bother nagging any more. If only all the other whinge-worthy issues were as easy to solve.

The boys are very much nicer without TV in the morning.

I think we are much more the opposite direction. DS wakes up at 5:30-6 every morning. I am not a nice person that early. He is allowed to watch TV, play quietly or read. He usually watches 2 hours of TV in the morning- only kid shows and only stuff on the DVR. Once or twice a week in the summer we'll watch a movie together. During school, he can watch one 30 min show when he gets home and that's it.

Computer- he can pretty much play educational games as much as he wants. He once spent 3 hours on Dreambox Learning. He rarely asks to play other games.

Wii/Nintendo DS- My husband is a huge gamer. We don't allow games during the school week but it's common for DS and DH to play a few hours on Saturday morning together. I have no problems with that. I credit Pokemon for my child's ability to read so voraciously! I told him I hated it and wouldn't read it to him so he insisted on teaching himself to read so he could figure it all out.

I think I am very different in my views than most of the parents on the site. My children are allowed to play on the computer daily, they watch tv daily, and they do not have strict daily limits on any of that. I do nudge at them if I think they've been at it too long, and I do stop them if they start arguing about it. The big rule is that homework is done before anything else, and that on chore days, those have to be finished as well.

My oldest son does not have a lot of interest in the computer. He will play it, get tired of it, and want to go outside and play. So, I don't worry about it with him. He enjoys the DS, but mostly in the car.

My youngest son, age 6, has the addictive personality his dad did. He can play for a long time. He also gets mad at it and will continue playing. He is realizing at a very young age, however, the tradeoffs he sometimes makes and he has begun to understand the consequences of those tradeoffs. So, he decides to play on the computer while his brother goes out to play with the neighborhood kids and realizes at dinner time that he has missed his chance to do something with his friends. He gets annoyed. He has begun to resent the hold that the TV has on him and asks me to turn it off at times so he won't get sucked in. I am happy with this, I know what teen age years look like in a child like him who has never learned to regulate himself. I feel that we are making good progress towards him learning to manage his time at an early age instead of me managing his time for him.

I'm far more lax in the summer than during the school year, but during the school year the rules for DD7 and DS10 are these (I need to preface this with the info that we homeschool, so homework in the evening isn't really an issue): no computer or TV during the week unless the family is watching something specific together. Each day they complete standing chores by 5 p.m. to earn one mom buck. On Friday after school they can exchange mom bucks for a rationed amount of candy or for computer time (1 buck = 20 minutes for a maximum of 1h40), plus they get 2 hours of computer time for free to use at their discretion over the weekend. Over the summer, additional time to be used during the week can be earned by doing more involved / less pleasant chores, like weeding or cleaning the bathrooms. If any character issues or academic issues arise we dock the free weekend time (ie, if general responsibilities of family membership aren't met, optional family privileges are revoked).

This system has worked pretty well for us. The expectations are clear in advance and can be tweaked. The drawback is that my son can be a little bit mercenary, but it does draw a clear picture of working for privileges, and that the work has to come before the paycheck. It's likely that I will be reducing the "free" weekend time this year as my son will go to a magnet environmental school with a heavy workload (not that our homeschool wasn't heavy; there just wasn't all the time-sucking classroom stuff!).

HTH,
KDV

Sorry, I just now saw that you don't want to do an earning method -- but, I think it would probably be good to still tie screen time that they choose to completing ordinary family responsibilities -- not chores, per se, but good grades and behavior, and if your standards are not met, then screen time temporarily gets scaled back until there's an improvement.

Your DH sounds like mine except mine isn't very interested in academia, but he is still successful, smart, and well-rounded.

The only problem I see is that DH is still addicted to TV, and our TV is constantly on even if he isn't watching it. Maybe a little moderation would be helpful (as is true for everything else in life).