I had planned a meeting with DS6's 2nd grade teacher to open the lines of communication - I wanted a HTH with her. The district has refused to write an adequate GIEP for DS and we're writing letters back and forth about that. But I should still be able to have open communication with the teacher, no?

Anyhow, here is the letter she sent:

>I'm sorry but we have to cancel our meeting on Thursday. I've >been advised to meet with you after the GIEP is sorted out.
> Thank you!

That really doesn't sound good. Nor do I think that they can prevent you from having a discussion about your child's schooling. It might take weeks to sort out the GIEP and you need your teachers communicating with you during that time.

It may not be as bad as you might be thinking right now! You have started the formal process of IEP and are now deep in the middle of the process. This may just be your P's personality coming through. Perhaps P tends to be a black and white thinker and wants to respect the formality of the process.

The thing to remember is that when you *go there* it is an interaction between two entities. You make your move and then you have to wait for them to make their's. It's hard because at that part, you literally have no control. You have to wait to see what they say at the meeting.

Then you assess and determine your next decision/action. At that point, you are back in control; deciding how you react to the results of the meeting.

It's surely not for the faint of heart, but don't start getting upset or panicking yet. There is absolutely nothing to do til the meeting except to prepare yourself for a meeting that could go any which way.....

I've had bad meetings that didn't go my way. I've also had the more *official* communications from the P that freaked me out when I got them. Ultimately it was just them repecting their process, which is what he had to do. It didn't end up negatively affecting us in the end....okay?

deep breath.........

I'll try not to panic, but this is still raw - I just got the letter an hour ago.. The thing is, the GIEP will remain inadequate. They do not want to put anything in writing about measurable goals, adequate PLEP, etc. So I'm not signing it. That shouldn't mean I can't communicate with the teacher, should it? If that's the case, I won't be able to communicate with the teacher for the rest of the year. Our district just will not budge. I feel like I shouldn't have to sign an inadequate GIEP in order to communicate with the teacher. This seems wrong.

Great point, if you have to communicate with the teacher concerning something unrelated to the GIEP, do so.

Just let her know first off, it's unrelated to the GIEP. But make sure the conversation doesn't veer off into that direction, you'll lose all credibility.

For less *official* meetings, I'm fine with doing it on the phone. In fact, I'd love to have all my meetings over the phone!

Hang in!

Neato

So I saw the teacher today when I picked DS6 up. She is really very kind. She was apologetic and said, "You do know, I'm just following orders, don't you...". She acknowledged she thought it was wrong that we couldn't meet.

Then she said something that reminded me why I couldn't just work through her to get his needs met. She said his differentiated math homework was "very hard" and one of us should help him tonight. She then said to DS, "Please know that if it's too hard you don't have to worry about it", then looked at me while saying, "we want to keep you interested in math." She means well, but she firmly believes (and has said) that "kids like what there are good at." I'd normally blow this statement off, but this is coming the day after we get DS6's math SCAT score of 470 back. Any PG math denial went out the window.

I've no help to offer, just hugs and good thoughts. But I definitely wanted to give those to you!

Hang in there!

So I e-mailed the principal asking her to help reestablish the meeting. So... I am allowed to have a meeting with the teacher "unrelated to the GIEP" but the principal has to be present. Geez.

<eye roll>

At least you get the meeting...

LOL, I'd love to see that.