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Posted By: RRD Questions about death - normal? - 01/16/17 07:41 PM
Just wondering: Is it pretty normal for a 7 year old (just turned 7) to ask questions about death fairly regularly? For instance last night, DS7 started asking several questions about how old our grandparents were when they died, making comments like "Well, at least that's pretty old." or "Wow, that's really sad that he died kind of young." He also mentioned that he thought it was really sad that my husband and his maternal grandfather never got to meet each other.

He doesn't seem to be overly anxious, but I can tell that there's a concern as to when his loved ones will die. He has always been rather sensitive, affectionate, and has "big emotions" (his words), and I know that part of it is due to his concern about losing us or anyone else he loves.

Maybe it's normal for any given child to have these sorts of concerns? Not really sure if we need to address it more than we have, just by answering him openly and offering our own thoughts on the subject.
Posted By: Ocelot Re: Questions about death - normal? - 01/17/17 02:00 AM
My 5 year old told me today that he would rather be a stuffed animal than a boy because then he'd never have to die. I said but then he'd never feel the love of his family or eat ice cream or experience all the other wonderful things in life. He then went in to deny he liked ice cream, so I'm not sure how he processed that.
I do think GT kids may think about these things more/differently/earlier, but I do think it is usually normal.
Posted By: RRD Re: Questions about death - normal? - 01/17/17 02:08 PM
Thank you both. Actually, he seems to be going through something a bit bigger than I thought.

Last night, he cried about the loss of a friendship with a boy he hasn't really seen at all this year. It's no great loss to us, since we don't think this kid was that interested in a friendship with DS anyway (plus he's quite rude), but DS doesn't recognize this and is rather broken-hearted. I tried to explain that it's normal that things change and that friendships come and go, and I also pointed out that he wouldn't have a friendship with his new best buddy if things didn't change. Not sure it worked that well, but maybe some of it sank in.

He is also very attached to "stuff" generally and doesn't want us to throw anything out. He is embarrassed to let anyone else hear him when he tells us this, but he wants to keep everything as a souvenir. He cried when I suggested I would throw out an old broken hockey stick.

He's such a sensitive kid and mostly that's a wonderful thing. But I do wish he didn't get hurt by everything so much, plus I hate to see him so insecure. And just when I thought he was doing so much better... Sigh.
Posted By: aquinas Re: Questions about death - normal? - 01/17/17 10:09 PM
It can definitely be normal, and we had a lot of conversations like Portia's. I'd caution that if it persists or starts to include any verbiage specific to someone else or sound depressed to talk to a mental health professional. In our family's case, there was something unfortunate afoot that needed attention, not just garden variety curiosity. (Not to scare you...the population incidence of the underlying issue was less than 0.1%.)
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