How did your gifted child find common ground with typical children? By "typical" I mean average, everyday kids?

DD9 forced herself to play with American Girl dolls even though she thought it was ridiculous. With girls there are crafty things that even gifted kids can enjoy. DD is very engergetic and she relates to kids by just running/goofing around with them and roughhousing.

DS7 has had more problems. He can't relate to superheroes or sports. If he roughhouses he always ends up getting injured. Kids try to play with him at school and he gets pushed down regularly. He has been playing Minecraft for 4 years before it was even popular but luckily now it is and he has found some typical kids who enjoy it as well and can relate to him on that. He has learned that he can't babble on about space stations or Pearl Harbor. It kind of makes me sad that he now knows that the other kids can't relate to him and he has "given up" so to speak.

My oldest is tall and co-ordinated and loves sports. Also Lego, Beyblades,Marbles, Mine Craft and some DVDs and books. Ds5 is smaller but is becoming quite good at soccer and gym and tags along.

I was the non sporty non giggly, serious, worried gifted kid though so I know how hard it can be.

It's a trick of the globally gifted kid with a wide array of interests that they can find common ground with just about anyone. DD9 is into all the same things NT kids her age are into... American Girl, Lego, Minecraft, video games, the latest music, movies, or insipid tween sitcoms, playing sports, being goofy... so she can always find things to relate with other kids.

She just also happens to be way into literature, music, and science, too, in ways that most kids her age just can't understand.

So far, finding common ground has been tricky for DD5. She is not a "girly girl" (her teacher's words) so, though she'll play house and dolls with the girls at school, these activities are not her first choice. She would much rather build something with Lego or talk about worms. She often plays with the boys.

Like Blackcat's DD, my DD has found common ground with other kids through running and physical play. She loves tag.

This weekend we went to a birthday party for a little girl turning five years old. We arrived early along with a couple of other girls. While waiting for the other kids to arrive, DD tried to make conversation with the birthday girl. She turned to her and said, "It's great that you're turning five. A lot of toys have age requirements that start at five, so now you can play with them." Cue deafening silence and blank stare from girl at DD.

DD's confidence was a bit shaken and she came up to me and said, "No one wants to talk to me or play with me." I gave her a hug and said look there are some girls playing with stickers over there. She went over and joined them. Later she had a blast when they played musical chairs and a few other dancing games.

On a positive note DD has made a friend at school this year who she says listens to her when she talks about things she's interested in. DH and I were pleased to hear this as last year she was a bit of an outcast. I know from my own experience that finding her tribe may be a bit of a journey. I just focus on making sure that she keeps feeling good about herself.

This is key.

Being Me is a book about understanding, building, and maintain confidence. It is by Magination Press, American Psychological Association. It is not specifically about gifted kids, but does a nice job explaining personal confidence and social confidence in a way kids can understand. Parents may wish to read the book first, to see whether it is applicable in their own child's circumstances. Reading also helps a parent prepare to have meaningful conversations with the child on different aspects of the topic of confidence.

DD-just-turned-11 has struggled finding common ground with other girls. She never liked playing with dolls or playing "house". Currently her friends are into music, dancing and many are beginning to talk about "crushes." None of those interest dd so she plays mostly with boys (still). Luckily she is very athletic so she has played several sports and made friends on good teams. I think that being gifted is not the only difficulty; she is also introverted so she usually has to find the quieter kids on the team to become friends with. This takes more time. I think the biggest difference for dd has been the gifted school she joined last year. Now she really does have a "gang" of friends for the first time in her life. They are a group of kids who are more accepting of differences than the kids at her previous public school.

Pokemon cards! DS 6.5 really got into these, and while I don't see the appeal he uses them to connect with the other kids in his class. He was very upset when the grade 1 teachers decided they were too disruptive and banned them. (Which I do understand - he's had some upsets with them being unfairly traded at school, him losing them, etc.)

Fortunately, the after-school program is more tolerant of them, so we arranged for him to have some there. He seems to use them as an 'in' to play with peers and also the older kids.

He is _not_ into super-heroes, lego, or other popular toys. He's also found an 'in' with video games - Animal Jam, Minecraft, which my kids enjoy playing 'with' their friends on line (DD talks to her friends on the phone as she does this).

My son's school was very very into bey blades for several years. All I ever heard talked about...are they still popular?

What has worked at our house; swim team, piano/ music, 4H, and theater. Dd is very artsy, so she makes miniatures for her American Girl doll - her sister's old one actually. She makes miniatures for her friend's dolls, too.

I think things art/ building are good. Sports about "personal best" such as swimming, cross country, track and tennis worked for all of our kids. Music.

We did have dd read through some of the Smart Girl's guides. They've been very helpful to give her "rules". I do pre-screen for content.

What did not work- scouts (both boy and girl- we have both- but YMMV) and most team sports.

Scouts work for my boy because my dh was a den leader and is now cub master and very involved. And son has best friend in his group that he wants to be with (also gifted) that we skipped him out of being in the same grade with him. So he enjoys his time with his best friend. Also it is a very laid back group.

Leaders make a big difference in scouts (and 4H, too)

My son is in cub scouts (my DH is his den leader), and I found it very interesting that there were quite a few gifted kids in our pack...

My DD's Girl Scout troop spent most of its time doing boring art projects. She didn't stick around long.

For boys, sports, video games, or music seemed to work - to some extent.

I agree. The good news is that this can turn into a DIY project for parents who are so inclined. Most programs are happy to have new leaders form clubs/packs/troups.

DS has expressed interest, off-and-on every six months or so, in learning to play the keyboard or guitar. Since there are quite a few kids at his school with artistic talents, this may be something to seriously consider. I recently noticed a local shop has opened offering piano and drum lessons, and we are considering buying him a real guitar for Christmas.

One of the kids from last year, whom DS looked up to (he moved on to high school), played drum. He thought he was the coolest kid.

From SENG: Promoting Positive Social Development

This is an excellent article, thanks for posting it. This article has stood the test of time, and in the two decades which have passed since it was authored, a few more books have been written which may be of interest. The websites of Great Potential Press, Prufrock Press, and free spirit publishing are some to check.

A favorite thought from the article - the concept of "peer" as an intellectual peer, not a chronological age peer is valuable to keep in mind and share with gifted kiddos.