DS has been invited by a friend to join a cub scout den. I don't know anything about cub scouts and I'm a little confused about the ranks. I looked on their website and found this:


So can DS, who is in 2nd grade, (age 5.5) even join? If so, should he join as a Tiger, Bobcat or Wolf? I don't know anything about the requirements or activities that they do at various levels. Any advice is welcome!

As I understand it--and I'm not an expert--they're pretty rigid about not letting kids under 10 or so move up from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts, so I'd probably recommend that you go more with his age rather than his grade for this one. Since most of the stuff they do isn't highly academic, this seems to be working out fine for our DS7 this year (in a den with several GT kids). The fine-motor skill stuff tends to be more important for Cub Scouts, so I think it might be better if you go more with the age-appropriate peers rather than the intellectual peers. And there's LOTS of freedom of choice of what to do, so even if some of it is too easy for him, he doesn't have to do it (or he can just get lots of awards easily!).

At Pack meetings once a month or so, he will associate with all the kids in the pack, so it isn't like he'll never see older kids.

I guess I think maybe put him in Tigers? Preferably with a pack not in his school, I think, since then he's with the younger kids at Scouts and the older ones at school. It doesn't sound like an easy fit there...

Worst case scenario is that he has to repeat Webelos because he's too young to move up. If that's going to be a problem, then you might want to wait another year.

You might also talk to your council. Perhaps they can make an exception in your son's case? Our Pack Leader made it sound like that wasn't ever going to happen, but that doesn't mean it's so!

Thanks, Kriston. The boy who invited him is a friend from DS's K class last year. So the friend is in first grade, just turned 6 and is a Tiger cub scout. So I think I'm inclined to put him at the same rank as his friend. It sounds like that's probably the best bet from what you describe, anyway I wasn't even sure that DS is old enough to join.

Cathy, go with age, not grade .

It's unanimous, then Tiger it is. DS is really excited about scouting. I hope it goes well. We have our first meeting next Weds.

I hope it goes well, too. Keep me updated, will you? We're scouting newbies this year, too, but we skipped Tiger and started with Wolf since DS turns 8 this year. So far, so good...

As a past cub master, now Boy Scout commette chair, Tiger is a good start. Parental involvemnet is the key, espesially in cub scouts. Some of the program may be to easy, but a lot of it can be great. Each pack is different try to find one you both are comfortble with. Also the more you are involved the better for your son. My curent DS16 loved cub scouts, and is still inscouting. Our DS6 may start this year. Their is a lot of flexibility in the program, it depends on the parents involved.

The pack is not just kids from our school, it also includes a couple of other schools around here. The den DS was invited to join consists of first graders. DS knows these kids from Kindergarten last year.

The den mother is a 2nd grade teacher at DS's school. She was DD's teacher two years ago. I want to give it a try because DS is very enthusiastic, but I am feeling a little wary because of something this teacher said to me last week.

We had stopped by her classroom after school to chat because DD wanted to say hi, and that was when this teacher told me that when she is on yard duty at recess, DS spends his entire recess talking to her and wanting to know what the different keys on her lanyard are for. She said, "He is very interested in those keys" in a tone that implied that it was something abnormal. She also said she needs to "find him a buddy". She suggested to DS that he play with the first graders he knows but he told her that all they want to do is chase him and he doesn't want to play that game. I think that he wants to hang out with her because he knows her, likes to talk to adults and feels safe from the chasing kids when he is with a teacher.

I definitely got the feeling that she thinks DS has some sort of social problem and that she may not approve of the gradeskip. Knowing her from when DD was in her class, I requested a different 2nd grade teacher for DS because I already had the sense that although DS likes her, it would not be a good match. This teacher had confided in me about her older son and her struggles to get him id'ed as GT at his school (not our school). I don't know what the outcome of that was. Her younger son is DS's age and in Kindergarten. He is one of the Tiger cubs in her den. I feel like there's something going on beneath the surface of our cordial relationship but I'm not sure what it is...

On top of that, we had a bad experience with a Brownie troop when DD was in 2nd grade. <shiver>

I'm a person who is very wary of any kind of new situation, especially social situations, and it's hard for me to separate that feeling from real alarms bells. So thanks for letting me talk it out!

Scouts can be agreat social start for some kids. It all varrys. We have in the Boy scout troop a very introverted boy with, whith what some would say was odd behavior. He has been accepted by the group, and seems to be fitting in. Hopefully its a good experance for your son.

I know nothing about scouts but I wanted to say that I got exactly the same comment from DS6 many times.

Yeah, I'm not sure what to do about it. My feeling is that he didn't fit in socially before the skip, either, so as long as he is happy at school, not breaking any rules, I don't really care what he does at recess.

Thanks, mon, for some very comforting advice

Especially this:


I just thought I should frame it!

Well, ideally. But I think we all know that in reality, a negative attitude from an adult--mere "facilitator" or no--can really hurt a kid. Especially socially. All it takes is one well-placed "if you're so smart..." comments or a subtle treatment like a social leper and a kid is ostracized by the other kids.

I don't think that potential is reason to keep the kid out of Scouts, but I do understand the concern Cathy is expressing.

I'm not disagreeing with your fundamental advice, MON. But I do think a bad attitude from the adult in charge of the group about a GT child can ruin a potentially good thing.

Good point.

I confess I'm mostly thinking of that rotten math teacher DS had in that homeschool class--an adult who also took the role of facilitator, BTW--who ignored my son completely even though I was RIGHT THERE. It can happen even with parental presence, and when it does, it's ugly, painful and maddening!

I don't mean to be negative. My son's Scout leader is really good! He enjoys Scouting a lot! And he's gotten to do some really cool things with his den.

But since there's some history with the particular leader in question for Cathy's DS, I don't think it's an idle concern. You know?

Okay, I'm done pounding on the deceased equines for today...

My problem is finding a balance between being aware of potential problems like this and being hypersensitive.

Yes, I hear you! I think you're striking the right balance now, FWIW. (not much...) Be aware, be vigilent, but don't assume problems until they show themselves IRL.

Chiming in late- I put my son with his agemates, as he is not a big kid and not particularly athletic, though he enjoys sports. It worked out well for the most part, with many of the kids in his den also playing on the same sports teams. The kids who stick with scouting tend to be high achievers/bright/gifted or else they have parents who are very involved and supportive.

My son is a first year boy scout now, and he is getting lots of positive feedback from the leaders, both the kids (it's a boy run troop) and the adults. I think itis a great program, though of course YMMV based upon the leaders and boys in each pack or troop.

Well, we signed up. DS is very enthusiastic and has already memorized the Cub Scout promise, Law of the Pack, Cub Scout motto, sign, salute and handshake. He loves his uniform

Our first den meeting went well. The activity was to write two sentences about why friends are important. DS was the only one who could spell independently and write fluently. I could tell the other moms noticed but no one said anything. I feel a little edgy waiting to find out what their reaction to him will be.

Well, it sounds like a good start, at least.

Did the other kids seem to notice, or just the parents?

I don't think so. They were busy with the activity and weren't paying attention to what anyone else was doing. Afterward, they all decorated Halloween cookies together.