hello all this is my situation i have 2 gifted kids such different kind of learners, well today i will talk to u about my daughter she seems to be losing interest in learning last year in school she read 184 books this year it is like 40 i was wondering if a gifted kid looses interest in learning what happens are they always gifted or will they average out. my daughter is getting older and maybe she thinks she needs to be like everyone elese. it is fustrating for me because i have heard so many people say just let them be kids and now i think she is like an average 9 year old but i want to instill new things from life that she would not get in school.i just do not want her to think that i am pressuring her.i am lost any input anyone............should i just let her do her own thing or should i set her goals high for her like tell her she needs to read more........kristina

Life is a great balancing act. Guiding children - yet letting them have enough freedom to find themselves and explore their possibilities. Not pushing so hard that they rebel - yet urging them with enough gumption that they take us seriously. Not expecting too little. Not expecting too much.

What is she reading? Is it good stuff? 40 books is still a lot depending on what she is reading. Are these books longer and more meaty than the 184? I'm not sure that numbers really count that much. I once spent months on one book. Les Miserables.... but it was just one book. My son used to read 5 or 6 books a week. Now he has been on the same book for a couple of weeks - Harry Potter. I'm okay with that - lack of volume replaced with something more challenging.

Look at the big picture? Are her grades still good? Does she have friends that you approve of? Does she have goals in her life?

For a gifted child, meeting the intellectual needs is critical - but that is only one aspect of the child. Maybe 184 books was meeting only one of her needs. Maybe 40 books and being more well rounded is meeting more of her needs.

So.... I guess my opinion is that you shouldn't just let her do her own thing and you shouldn't tell her she needs to read more..... you should look at the whole picture and encourage her to make good decisions. Help her to set her own goals and make her own decisions. Guide her.

Mary

mary thank u for your input as far as her grades she is still stright a's and the books were chapter books like 200 pages or so not like the harry potter books although she might like that.so she is doing well on her own but when she says she is board i will give her some ideas and things to do her reply the other day was "mom why do u want me to do something that has to do with learning or productive" i really think she is trying to find her way but she might be a little lost too, she sometimes will try to like the things that the other girls like so we buy the bratz dolls and things that that but it does not last long. we have done the puzzles,computer games science labs, politics and the different compossers that just lights her up, but to find friends that like that stuff is hard.i have been looking for a long time of play groups for gifted kids but i can not find any the only ones are for home schooled kids. do u know if it is possible for gifted kids to just average out? again thank u for your input. kristina

Hi Kristina -
My son is nine, and I get that from him, too:
You think I'm smarter than I am!

My advice is to arrange child led time on a regular, dependable basis - is 30 minutes a week doable? and make yourself availble to do what she want's to do. By listening and following, you are making it more likly that later she will listen and follow you!

then ask yourself - what kinds of learning behavior am I modeling? Are you learning new things where she can see you sweat over it? If you're doing both of those well, and she seems happy, I think you can relax and wait for the right moment.

By 9 the toll of not being challenged earlier starts to be quite noticible. A gifted summer camp may make a nice reference for her to see the benifit of your way of thinking. Everyone is uses their gifts in their own way, and your daughter may be inventing her own way right now - good luck - Trinity

Kristina:

I don't have gifted kids who are your daughter's age, my son is still very young. However, I do work with teen girls and know that they want their mom in such a bad way. I would suggest having a regular "date" time with her and just let it be education free. Go to a movie, ice skating, for ice cream and let her do ALL the talking....just listen. I think in those moments, you'll hear her heart. Your daughter is bright, but she might be finding it a little difficult to fit in. I think trinity's camp idea is a great one...just remember, she needs to have fun too.

I don't know if your daughter or you would do overnight camp, but i've heard wonderful things about week long Camp Yunasa:
http://www.educationaladvancement.org/programs/students/yunasa/overview.php